Growing Pains

“No.”

The reply was quick, firm, and delivered so matter-of-factly that when Batman turned and walked off I was left floating dumbly behind.

It was only when the last bit of his cape disappeared around a corner that I snapped out of my daze and chased after him.

“Hey, what do you mean no!?”

“No, I won’t train you.”

“Why not!”

Batman was like THE DC martial arts guy. Yeah there were people that got superpowers from their fancy martial arts or whatever, but Batman knew like all of those and mastered them too! Even if he didn’t get the powers from them.

And none of those other people ever trained a handful of tinier people that went on to kick nearly as much butt as he did. It was all ‘I’ve been chosen by some magical force~’ and then Batman and his sidekicks beat them up. He had to train me!

“You’re a child on a self admitted mission to take over the planet.” Batman pointed out dryly. “It’d be irresponsible for me to teach children to throw themselves into danger, even more so when you are going to be using those skills to fight us.”

That was a well reasoned argument. I had a counterpoint.

“Don’t you have a five year old running around in tights fighting criminals? That’s pretty irresponsible already.”

There was a crash of shifting metal. I turned towards the sound and was shocked to see a small boy in a red and green outfit trying to pull his foot out of where it punched through a rusted air conditioner.

How did I miss him earlier? Anyway…

“Yeah, him!” I turned back to Batman while pointing at his struggling sidekick. “You train him already so train me!”

Besides a slight deepening in his frown, Batman made no sign that he was bothered by Robin’s blunder. “Robin is a normal human that has dedicated himself to fighting crime. He isn’t trying to attack the planet and has no powers. Unlike you, he needs training to live with the path he’s chosen.”

“And I’m eleven, not five!”

I whirled back to Robin.

“Eleven is basically five. You’re short enough it doesn’t make a difference.”

The pre-teen scowled. “Yeah? Like you’re one to talk, you're only a little taller than me. How old are you anyway?”

That…was actually a good question.

Saiyans didn’t exactly care about age. We didn’t have birthday parties or anything like that. Even if we did it wasn’t like the calendar of Vegeta and Earth were the same.

“I have no idea. Older than you though.” I said with a smirk.

Robin bristled. “How do you not know how old you are?!”

“Don’t know the day I was born, space travel and induced hibernation makes keeping track of time hard, and I have no idea how our time systems compare.” I counted the reasons on my fingers. “Do you know how an Earth year compares to a Vegetian one?”

“No, why would I know that? How would I know that?”

“You asked.” I shrugged. “Don’t lose your tail over it.”

“I don’t have a tail!”

“Guess that explains why you are so small and wimpy then!” I started floating around Robin, jabbing him occasionally with my tail despite his efforts to grab it. Too bad for him I was faster and able to fly while he was just getting angrier and sloppier because of that anger. I guess Batman hadn’t trained him how to deal with flying oppone–

Oh right, I was here for training, not messing with a preteen!

I gave one last push to the middle of Robin’s forehead and knocked him over before floating back to Batman.

The Dark Knight had moved since I got distracted with Robin. Now he was standing in an area that gave him a clear view of the two of us with his hands hidden under his cape. Had he been watching us? It made sense, he probably didn’t want me accidentally squishing his sidekick and Robin probably hadn’t been training with him for long if he still sucked so much so he wanted to make sure he could intervene.

“Now where were we? …Right, train me!”

Batman remained unimpressed.

“I don’t have time for this.” He grumbled and stalked off. I naturally wasn’t going to let him get away so easily and followed after him.

It was actually kinda cool watching him sprint over rooftops. No wasted movement, no uncertainty even when he got close to the edge of a building, and it didn’t look like he was moving randomly either. Eventually he came to a stop near a skylight.

Curious, I looked inside and saw a bunch of people operating some kinda machinery inside.

“What’s that?” I asked. Batman spared me a small glance and went back to studying the men below without a word.

Rude.

“It’s a counterfeiting ring run by the Mob.” Robin informed me as he caught up to us. I could’ve sworn I saw Batman scowl more at his arrival but it was gone before I could be sure. “We’ve been tracking them down for the past few days.”

“Oh hey, you finally caught up!” I smirked. “About time.”

Robin bristled and opened his mouth but he was cut off by Batman.

“Enough. They are packing up their operation tonight. We don’t have time for this.” He turned to look at me. “Stay out of the way.”

I tilted my head. “If I do, will you train me?”

“I’ll consider it.”

Better than nothing. I nodded my acceptance and watched as the two of them went to work. Batman started things off by crashing through the skylight and blowing out the lights with one of his little boomerang things with Robin following close behind.

I’d like to say it was a cool fight and I managed to learn something just by watching, but Batman versus a bunch of random people disoriented by sudden darkness meant everything was over pretty quick. A few punches and the occasional kick and they were knocked out already. Even Robin managed to take out a few with little trouble.

I decided to be polite and waited until they were done tying up their criminals. Once they finished I landed in front of Batman and looked up at him with sparkling, excited eyes.

“So, you’ll train me now?”

“No, I won’t.”

I was crushed by this completely unforeseen betrayal.

“Whhhhhyyy!?” I wailed asked reasonably. “You said you would if I stayed out of the way!”

“I said I would consider it. You are still hostile to Earth so I won’t train you.”

“That’s not fair!”

I admit the next few minutes were not my most shining moments. I tried begging, threats, promises, and many other things trying to get Batman to give in but without success. Begging didn’t seem to phase him. Threats made him point out it was exactly those reasons he refused to train me in the first place. And everything else just seemed to bounce off the jerk. Eventually he just ignored me entirely and went about the city stopping a few more crimes and teaching his sidekick how to freerun a bit better.

It didn’t help that Robin seemed to find the whole thing hilarious.

The wimp was getting on my nerves.

“Relax, monkey girl.” the bird brain smirked at me. “He just said no. Don’t lose your tail over it.”

I saw red.

“I’ll show you losing your tail!” I shouted and readied to throw a Ki ball at him when a gloved hand clamped around my wrist.

I don’t think any of us were fooled into thinking Batman could really stop me if I wanted to continue with my attack but blasting Bird Boy wouldn’t make him train me. I was going to have to break out my ultimate technique. A move so evil and underhanded that I felt uncomfortable even considering it.

But they left me no choice.

I looked up at Batman and let some water gather in the corner of my eyes. “You really won’t train me?” I asked, voice trembling.

“Whoa, wait. Are you crying?” Robin asked, uncertainly. Even Batman looked uncomfortable in the face of my ultimate move. And this wasn’t even its final form!

“N-no, I’m not! You’re crying!”

Despite my words even more water started gathering in my eyes and spilling over my cheeks.

Batman was still holding strong, but Robin was starting to crack.

“Br– Batman, what do we do?”

The Caped Crusader shifted awkwardly and released my arm. I let the Ki ball dissipate and sank to the rooftop, the very picture of dejection. I heard them start to edge away and decided to break out level two of my technique, adding in some low keening sounds and hiccups.

“We’re not going to really leave her here…are we?” My technique was already eating away at the unity of the heroes. It was only a matter of time now.

I upped the intensity a bit more and knew I was close to succeeding when I heard Batman sigh and walk back over to me.

I looked up at him when he kneeled in front of me and struggled to see through the water pouring from my eyes. A drawback from using this technique.

“You really won’t?” I asked one more time.

Batman sighed. “I’ll train you…if you agree to some conditions.”

“You promise?”

“...yes.”

“YES!” I ended my technique and leapt into the air with a bright smile. I knew this would work! Fake tears were one of my most evil moves but no hero could withstand it!

“Tch, I thought she was supposed to be a monkey not a crocodile. We got played…”

I was so happy at my success I didn’t even get mad at Bird Brain for the comment.