Glorious Vanity (SI LitRPG)

It was warm. I was still groggy, but the first thing I noticed was that I was comfortably warm. Like, the most comfortable I had ever been falling asleep.

Still half-awake, I yawned and thought about getting up. But I was too comfortable. Shifting a bit, I felt something nice and squishy pressed against my head. Like a super high-class pillow.

It was tempting. Too tempting to get up.

So I didn't. Giving myself into the temptation, I leaned forward to my squishy pillow and went back to sleep. Or I tried to.

But when I pressed against the pillow, I heard a soft gasp. At the same time, the faint scent of pure vanilla... No, something like vanilla but carrying a slight electric scent filled my nostrils.

And then I realized my situation.

Like a lightswitch was flipped, I instantly took stock of my situation.

First of all, I was lying in bed, tucked beneath some covers.

Second of all, I wasn't alone.

Third of all... The high class pillow that I had been using...

Well, it was definitely high class, but it also definitely wasn't a pillow. At least, not a normal one.

"Goddammit." I muttered under my breath and carefully turned my head to get a better look at what was going on.

Did Freyr wake up in the middle of the night? Or did she have a nightmare and subconsciously reach for me?

Either way, somehow I had ended up in that cliche situation where I was lying in bed with Freyr. Not only that, but she had completely wrapped her arms and body around me, hugging my head against her chest.

A chest with pure white mounds completely on display due to Freyr's white shirt clinging to her body from her sweat.

I took a brief moment to register the situation. And after that, I nodded.

Yep. It seemed like Freyr was definitely going to run into these sorts of situations in the future. And since I was associated with her, I was going to be collateral damage.

Fortunately, I had no intention of taking advantage of Freyr and she didn't mind the events as long as it was me.

...Which was troubling since I had a feeling that all sorts of flags were being raised in the background because of that fact, but I'd deal with them when they popped up.

After all, in the worst case scenario, I'd just have to take responsibility and marry her.

...Which would most likely mean facing off against a majority of the Norse pantheon gods that probably had a fancy for her.

And most of the Chosen who wouldn't accept the fact that someone as plain as me could be with a goddess like Freyr.

And probably also some other hidden powers out there that had plans for her that likely involved her having a lack of support and being vulnerable to emotional manipulation.

Which in turn meant that I definitely needed to get working on my power ups.

It would be bad if I accidentally got offed and Freyr went on a murderous rampage to reach the top of Babel and try to bring me back to life. And considering the conceptual weapons I gave her, I had a feeling that Ragnarok would be the least of everyone's concerns...

[Yet again, you are awfully nonchalant about Miss Valhalla's affection towards you, Vain.]

A familiar slightly mechanical female voice echoed in my head. Alice's. But it was also a bit different.

Usually, she sounded neutral and snarky. But right now, she sounded... fatigued?

[Don't worry about me. I just had to sort through a few tasks that cropped up around Miss Valhalla.]

Ah. Sorry about that. I guess I did tip the scales a bit with all I did recently...

[As I said, don't worry about me. If I couldn't handle at least this much, I wouldn't be worthy of having you as my user.]

...That doesn't make me feel much better about making you do work. But if you say so.

Alice's laugh echoed in my head. After that, her voice rang out again. [So you *do* have a conscience!]

Of course. I'm still human, you know?

[Hah. Of course. Now... I believe it would be best to not linger so long within Miss Valhalla's embrace. While I'm sure she doesn't mind and you're enjoying it, I believe it would be quite awkward if someone were to say, walk in the room in a few minutes?]

I blinked and then quickly glanced at the door.

...I wanted to believe that Alice was just trolling me. But knowing that fallen angel's tastes and personality, I wouldn't put it past him to arrange things like that. So. Before that could happen...

Freyr was still fast asleep. Even while I was shifting around, she didn't move or react. If anything, she only hugged me closer.

Considering all the stress she'd gone through recently... Most of it my fault, I didn't want to wake her up. But it would be hard to get out of this without doing that considering how tightly she was clinging onto me.

She might be fast asleep right now, but I was sure that she'd be awake if I broke free from her arms.

Still... Considering the 'show' I put on yesterday, being found like this wasn't good for either of us. Especially Freyr.

So let's see. To get out of a mess like this... Disengage was the skill to use. But it only worked against 'enemies.' And while this situation was a bit troublesome, Freyr was far from my enemy.

Fortunately... I learned something useful about my initial skills recently. Specifically, that [No One's Story] removed skill requirements.

While it wouldn't work on EVERYTHING, for something like this...

I focused, carefully going over my plan.

First of all, I would use [Disengage] to get out of Freyr's arms. Next, I would use [World Creator (Minor)] to substitute me with a fluffy pillow. And then after that, I should be in the clear and Freyr should still be able to enjoy a nice nap.

[My. How considerate of you.]

Shut it, Alice.

Her laughter echoed in my head, and then her voice rang out again. [Fine, fine. I'll be getting some rest of my own then. Try not to get into too much trouble in the meanwhile, Vain.]

After that, Alice's presence faded.

Which was weird, since I didn't even realize that it was there until just now.

...Was Alice actually a person then and not just an AI come to life?

Food for thought, but not right now. First of all, I had to get out of this cliched harem anime scenario before-

A loud knock echeod on the door. Shortly after, a female voice called out. "Freyr? Are you in there?"

Aqua's voice. That blue-haired princess that proclaimed herself to be Freyr's friend. And soon after her voice echoed...

"Princess. Even if this is Lady Freyr's room, don't you think it's still too early to be making such a racket?"

I resisted the urge to sigh. Instead, I quickly put my plan into action before I could tempt fate any further.

A soft pop and blur of surroundings. Another soft pop, and I was standing in the middle of the room.

Freyr stirred a bit. Was it because of the knocking, or because of me suddenly leaving her side?

I didn't know, but time was running out.

"Hm? The door's unlocked?" Aqua's voice echoed again and then the doorknob started to turn.

"Princess-"

"I'm coming in!"

Freyr shifted in the bed and drowsily raised her head. "Mm...?"

The door started to open.

But the moment before it did...

A table. A chair. Some coffee, toast. A journal with a pen.

I sat down and pulled the cup of coffee close, idly sipping on it. At the same time, I carefully schooled my expression and turned towards the door.

"Good morning!" A bright-eyed and smiling blue-haired princess walked in.

Following her was the heroic green-haired knight that was always by her side.

Gale looked at me and sighed, bowing his head slightly. "Sorry for the intrusion."

Aqua huffed and said, "What are you apologizing for? We're just checking in on our friend!"

"...That's exactly why I'm apologizing, Princess."

At that time, Freyr finally woke up. Blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she noticed Aqua and Gale standing in the doorway. "L-Lady Aqua? Sir Gale?!" She sat up and said, "What are you two-"

Before she could finish... and before she could get up completely and reveal her formfitting shirt, I sighed and waved my hand, materializing a blanket over her top. "I get that you're still half-awake, Freyr. But at the least remember that you're a beautiful young woman in the presence of others."

Freyr blinked, confused at my words. But then she blushed and lowered her head. "A-Ah. Yes. Thank you Vain. I'll... I'll remember that."

Aqua looked at Freyr and then rounded on me. Jabbing a finger in my face, she said, "Who are you anyway? And why are you so close to Freyr? No, why are you sharing a room with her?!" She narrowed her eyes and said, "You'd better not be taking advantage of-"

"Princess." Gale interrupted Aqua and shook his head.

Aqua flinched and then looked at him. "But Gale-!"

He shook his head again and said, "It is none of your concern. And remember. You are only a princess in name here." The knight looked towards me and gave a meaningful stare. At the same time, he subtly moved in front of Aqua, blocking her from me.

I took a sip from my coffee and said, "The two of you are too cautious. So long as you're on Freyr's side, we won't have any issues... And besides, I'm not one to hurt friends of my friend."

Aqua frowned and said, "Friend? You and Freyr...?" Her frown deepened and she said, "It didn't look like you two were just 'friends' to me..."

Gale pulled Aqua into his arms.

"H-Hey!" Aqua blushed and started squirming. "Gale! What are you doing?!"

The knight ignored her and said, "Whatever the case may be, it seems that we impolitely intruded upon your morning. I apologize, and we will be on our way."

"Gale! GAAALE!"

While Aqua protested, Gale tossed her over his shoulder and walked out, shutting the room behind him.

And then it was quiet once more.

I took another sip from my coffee and looked towards Freyr. Raising an eyebrow, I said, "You have some very... colorful friends, Freyr."

Freyr sent me a wry smile. "It appears so. But I'm glad." She shifted her gaze to the door, her expression warming up a bit. "It's a wonderful feeling to have people concerned for you."

I nodded. "It is. But should I be concerned that they think I'm a threat?" I frowned and said, "It'll be bad if we come to blows... I don't think I'd last very long."

I put up a strong front, but my stats were still utter garbage. And seeing as Aqua and Gale seemed to come from a JRPG type world, I was fairly certain their base stats were much higher than mine...

Freyr laughed and got out of the bed. "It won't go that far, Vain. Besides, didn't you say you were confident in your survival skills?"

"I am. But I'd rather not test my luck again after recent events, you know?"

"Ah." Freyr's expression froze and then she frowned. "...My apologies."

I took another sip from my coffee and said, "Don't apologize. No, if you're that sorry, then get dressed, will you?" I took a bite from my toast and said, "I'm not the type of person who'd get upset over seeing a beautiful woman like that in the morning, but it's kind of distracting, you know?"

Freyr turned a deep shade of red and then nodded. "I-I will do so immediately!" She reached into thin air... No, her [Item Box] probably and pulled out some spare clothes. A light blue blouse and... surprisingly, a pair of jeans.

The moment she did, she tossed the blanket over her to the side and started to take off her clothes. But then, probably remembering last night's events, stopped in the middle and looked at me. "U-Um..."

I rolled my eyes and waved my hand, creating a screen partition. "Honestly... If you're going to be embarrassed about something like this, you shouldn't act so boldly around me, you know?"

"Sorry, Vain."

"And stop apologizing." I sighed and went back to eating my toast.

Honestly... what a troublesome woman...

-V-

After Freyr got dressed, the two of us left our room to take a look around.

It seemed like we were in one of the penthouse suites... which was weird since the view outside of our window didn't look like it. But when we walked into the hallway outside, I noticed that we were in one of the high-rise buildings that I saw earlier.

Lucy might like to troll people, but it seemed that he was at least genuine in his promises on treating us right while we were under his protection.

"I apologize again, Vain." Freyr shifted beside me and said, "I-I subconsciously reached for you when I was asleep and-"

"Don't worry about it. Besides, I'm not the sort of guy to complain when I had such a comfy pillow, you know?"

Freyr turned a bright red at my words, but then she gave me a happy smile.

...Well, I was already this deep. Since it was like that, I wasn't about to backpedal now. Besides, while a bit awkward, it wasn't like I hated waking up in her arms.

I mean, what guy would, right? If they did, then they were either taken, swinging for the other team, or broken in their head somewhere.

"Anyway." I spoke up to change the topic and glanced around. "I wonder what we're supposed to do now?"

We were still in the tutorial. Pulling up the message from Lucy, the fact remained that we had to get 10000 merit points somehow or another.

That guy had set us up in this place as a base, probably, and from how it was such a luxurious hotel, it was definitely high class treatment. But I had a feeling that there was a catch somewhere. When it came to people that called themselves Lucifer, or some variation of that name, there always was.

Freyr hummed and said, "If I recall correctly... I believe Lord Lucifer mentioned he would send us a follow up message? Since he has yet to do so, I believe we are just free to spend our time as we wish."

"That's what I figured... but it's still hard to relax."

Since it was early in the morning, there weren't any other guests around. It seemed like Aqua's abrupt morning intrusion was the exception... That, or she was an early bird. But while I could sense presences all around me in the rooms we passed, none of them were moving.

Still, I could clearly sense from their mana that the people around us were all stronger than me. A *lot* stronger than me.

"Ah." Freyr nodded. "I suppose it would be difficult... But do not worry, Vain." She smiled and grabbed my left hand. Staring me in my eyes, she said, "I will do everything in my power to protect you. If you cannot use a sword for yourself... Then I will be your blade."

A determined and resolved declaration.

Hearing that... I was sure that most people would be moved. But as for me...

I tapped Freyr's head and said, "Idiot. Worry about yourself first. Who's the one who keeps running into awkward and embarrassing situations, hm?"

Freyr blushed and lowered her gaze. "T-That is different! B-Besides... As long as it is you..." She looked up at me and then looked away, turning a deeper shade of red.

I let out an internal sigh and then kept walking. "Anyway, it'll be fine. If you're worried about me, just stay by my side and help me out when I ask you. I'm in a bit of a bind right now, but I've got plenty of ideas to get stronger... Especially if this place is set up like I think it is."

"Of course!" Freyr quickly nodded and said, "I will stay with you until the very end! Even if my body were to turn to dust and my soul were-"

I poked Freyr again and said, "Dummy. I get that you like me and all, but tone it down in public, alright?"

"L-L-Like? I would never-" Freyr stammered for a bit, but then she paused and stared at me. "Wait. Vain-"

"Private discussions are for private times, my dear goddess. Right now we're in public, and we've got images to uphold if you want to fulfill your dream."

"...Yes." Freyr let out a deep breath. After taking one to fill her exhale, she nodded. Her face was still a bit flushed, but it seemed that she managed to get her emotions under control again.

I nodded in approval. "Good. Like that. I appreciate the concern you've shown me, but emotional outbursts aren't your thing."

Freyr was the calm, composed, and noble knight type of woman. Or rather, goddess.

Even though she had fallen for me and as a result fallen from the pure aloof grace she should have had as a goddess, it was still a part of her. And one that would only be a valuable tool going forward.

I wanted to make sure she remembered that. After all, it wouldn't do for her to break our little charade while I was still relying on bluffs for my powers.

"I understand, Vain. But..."

"No buts. Even if yours is nice and squishy."

"E-Eh?!" Freyr blushed. "V-Vain?!"

"Composure, Freyr. Maintain your composure." I kept walking and said, "If you can keep a straight face while being teased like this, I'm sure you'll be fine when the situation calls for it."

"A-Ah." Freyr sighed. "So this is a sort of training... I understand." She paused and said, "Is this why you can remain so composed, Vain?"

"A bit. Also, thanks for the pillow. If I could use it again every night from now on, I think I'd be the happiest guy alive."

Freyr stumbled, staring at me with wide eyes.

I responded with a smirk.

Freyr narrowed her eyes and pouted. "You are enjoying this far too much, Vain."

"It's for your own good. Now, calm, calm."

Freyr sighed. "...Perhaps it would have been better if-"

"Hey now, be careful what you wish for. You never know what god might be listening."

Freyr's eyes widened and she nodded. But then she frowned and said, "Just how are you so insightful, Vain? Every time I speak with you, I seem to be struck dumb by your knowledge and wisdom... Or your reckless actions. But that is neither here nor there."

"Ah, there's the snark. Good." I nodded and said, "Excellent way to respond. Suits you too... We should practice that a bit more later to get you ready for your inevitable commandering... Comandeering? Battlefield command."

I shook my head and said, "Anyway, to answer your question... I just read a lot. And I'm pretty good at reading the situation."

"...Are you certain that you are a simple human, Vain?" Freyr frowned. "I do not believe that reading would be enough to be your level..."

"Don't underestimate humans, Freyr. We're pretty terrible monsters if we put our minds to it, you know? Anyway..." I stopped walking.

In our chat, we'd made it to the elevator shaft.

I pressed on the elevator button and said, "Since we're in a high class hotel, there's probably a breakfast buffet somewhere, right? I don't know about you, but I'm pretty curious about what food Lucy's giving us." After saying that, I walked in the elevator.

Freyr followed after me and walked on my left side. After, she shook her head and said, "Were you not just eating food earlier?"

"I was. But me eating the food I made is just like playing pretend, you know? It's fun and tastes good but doesn't really do anything for me."

That was a lie. But Freyr didn't need to know that.

"Anyway..." I glanced at Freyr and said, "You need to eat properly too. You might be a goddess and have insane stats, but it won't do to skip out on meals you know?"

"I agree with your words, Vain... But you seem to have a reason behind them. Might I know why?"

"Isn't it obvious? A hero is someone that works for the people and around the people. You might be a goddess, but if you want to lead people and fulfill your ideal, it's good to not hold yourself too aloof. Not only that..."

"Yes?"

I resisted the urge to cringe and said, "I still haven't seen how cute you look when you eat, so I'm curious. You won't disappoint me, right?"

Freyr blushed again.

"Composure, Freyr."

She huffed and then lightly tugged my shirt. "You bully."

"I bully because I care." I glanced at the elevator buttons and then pressed the lobby. That was usually where the buffets were... Maybe. And if not, we could always go out into the town.

There was a soft chime, and then the button I pressed started glowing. At the same time, the elevator started descending. But from the display showing what floor we were on... Specifically at the three digit number counting down, it seemed we would be stuck here for a while.

"In the meantime..." I looked at Freyr and smiled. "Ready for your emotional training, my lovely goddess?"

Freyr glanced at the door and then back at me, suddenly realizing her situation. "...Is this payback for chastising you the other day? Or for taking you to bed without your permission?"

"Of course not. I just want my beautiful goddess to be ready to fulfill her dreams. That's all."

Freyr's cheeks turned red.

I stuck up my index finger and wagged it. "It's no good if you're getting embarrassed already. Now, why don't we start with some compliments then? Like how your lovely eyes-"

[Class synchronization complete.]

[An appropriate class has been found.]

[Designated Class: Shameless Flirt]

"Vain?"

I sighed.

Dammit. I should have realized that was still going on...

-V-

[Status Screen]

-Biography-

Name: Vain Glory

Age: 20 (Adjusted)

Race: Human (Heaven Defying)

Class: Shameless Flirt

Current Condition: Healthy

-Racial Traits-

Divine Anathema - Those not only forsaken by their gods, but those who have killed their gods and constructed their own. Drastically reduces effectiveness of Divine Attacks. Minor probability of obtaining partial Divine Authority through analysis and perception. Greatly increased hostility by Divine Beings.

-Traits-

Man of a Thousand Faces (Can filter emotions and experience through personas)

Well-Read (Increased intelligence growth)

Self-Determined (Luck is treated as 100 for calculations)

-Titles-

World Creator (Minor) - Allows construction of non-magical items through one's will

Hero Creator - Removes growth limitations on user and their allies. Rapidly accelerates growth of allies.

-Parameters-

Level: 5

Strength: 18

Agility: 20

Vitality: 18

Intelligence: 77

Mana: 70

Luck: 15 [100]

Bonus Stat Points: -77

-Skills-

No One's Story - A gambit that defies the gods through sacrificing one's identity and very memory. All attempts to scry your status are denied. Removes skill requirements. Memory and visualization abilities are enhanced.

A Different Path - Direct interference with a hero's fate, granting him a new path and divergent futures. Allows reproduction of 'conceptual weapons' provided the requisite materials. Allows reproduction of 'sword skills' provided the requisite understanding.

Flames of Muspell (Degraded) - A spark of the flames that will harken the end in Ragnarok. An authentic spark of the world-consuming flames that can burn even the divine. Immune to all but extreme temperature changes. Moderate resistance to Absolute Zero or Absolute Flame. Can summon a handful of Ragnarok's flames.

First Aid - A basic healing spell that stops bleeding and accelerates the body's natural regeneration.

Disengage - A skill that allows the user to immediately retreat from battle as well as return the user's condition to the state prior to engaging in combat. Can be used once per engagement per hostile opponent.

Loki's Blessing (Minor) - A blessing from the Trickster God, Loki. Can change and conceal one's appearance. Due to synergy with No One's Story, it is a flawless disguise, capable of fooling even Loki without intense scrutiny.

Item Box (Minor) - A skill that grants the user a small spatial pocket to store items. Time is slowed within the spatial pocket to 1/10th of the normal flow. Can hold approximately 1 cubic meter of items.

-Class Skills-

Silver Tongue - A skill that aids in persuasion and manipulating the emotions of the target. Super effective against members of the opposite sex, or those interested in the user. Chance to instantly charm the opponent. (Extreme Synergy with <Well-Read> and <Man of a Thousand Faces>)

Rapport - A skill that builds rapport with the target. Passively increases general likability. Similar to <Charisma>, but the core of this skill is trust and empathy rather than admiration. With enough mastery, it is possible to create allies willing to throw their lives away for your sake. (Extreme Synergy with <Hero Creator> and <Well-Read>)

-Inventory-

N/A