Enlightenment Through BDSM

“Uhm, like I said, I was a gymnast. For skills, I know Excel and PowerPoint pretty okay, I guess.”

The lady laughed at me, and I felt a strange sensation on the top of my head. Are my ears turning down? I thought. I know she didn’t mean it, but it did feel pretty humiliating. Tall, beautiful woman laughing at me, all while I had nothing on except a slightly oversized cloak, one that only fully covered my torso as long as I kept my arms down…

“Not that kind of Job, and not those skills. Here, I’ll show you.” She put her hand out, and a small card appeared. It didn’t just pop into existence like the other things though, but burned into existence instead, almost like a piece of paper being set aflame in reverse. “This is my business card, has all my relevant info.”

She was clearly offering it to me, so I took it, a little hesitant after the fiery display. “Lady Kaliasthar of House Thorne, Tactician Level 2. Base class: Bard. Key attributes, Intelligence and Charisma” it read at the top. Many of those words made little sense to me, at least without further context, but even I could make out a noble title when I saw one. Below that was a list of letters I mostly didn’t understand, with what looked like smudged ink next to them. “STR: ??, DEX: ??, CON: ??, INT: ??, WIS: ??, CHA: ??, Skills: ??????????”

“Uhm, a lot of it’s blurry,” I said, squinting, “but I don’t have my glasses with me.” 

I heard her stifle another laugh when I mentioned that. “No, I doubt you need glasses here. It’s blurry to everyone except me by default, except my name and basic Job info. Skills and attributes are considered more private things.”

“Oh, okay,” I said, trying to act like I understood. “And your… Job is Tactician, I guess?”

“Yup!” she said, taking the card back, it once again bursting into flames as she grabbed it, this time disappearing. I know I should have been astounded by that, but honestly it was less shocking than the the stuff with their camp equipment before. “It’s a little weird the first time, but you just sort of have to will it out. Imagine your it in your hand, appearing like mine, and it should work.”

“Alright.” I put my hands together like I was holding a business card, imagined it like she said. It happened quicker than I imagined, surprising me with a quick burst of flame. I dropped the piece of paper on the ground before it even finished appearing, the fiery card dropping right onto the flowers and grass below. “Shit, no!”

“Be quiet, I’m trying to sleep!” I heard from the tent, followed by Kalia giggling again as I looked at the fire below me in horror.

“It can’t actually burn anything,” Kalia said as she picked the card up and handing it to me. “It’s just aesthetic.”

“Thanks,” I said as I grabbed it back from her, looking down. I had a moment of panic, realizing that my name wouldn’t be listed as “Mai” on the card, but to both my surprise and relief the spot for the name was blank, the top line reading “_____________ , Servant Level 1.” My heart dropped a little at the word “Servant.” If this was supposed to be my job in this world, that surely didn’t bode well, but I read on. “Base class: Monk. Key attributes, Dexterity and Wisdom.”

“Monk,” I muttered. It made something click in my head, and I realized that’s what Altris, the god who left me here, had reminded me of. 

“That’s your base class?” Kalia asked, craning her neck a little. “Mind if I look?”

“Uhm, no,” I said as I turned the card around, not really understanding the lines of text below the first part anyway.

I regretted showing her almost instantly, feeling my cheeks burning read as her eyes went wide on the first line. “Servant… That’s a new one.” 

“Does…  does that mean I have to like, find a mistress?”

She shook her head, blinking rapidly. “Why are you using that word specifically?”

“No reason!” My heart was pounding, and I could feel my pulse all the way down to my feet. Whatever I did, I couldn’t let her know that I liked that stuff. “It’s just like, uhm, Downton Abbey, you know? Servants listen to the lady of the house, right?”

“Oh, so you’re looking for a lady with a noble title?” she asked. For a moment I floundered mentally, trying to figure a way to wriggle out of the hole I dug, but then I saw a slight smirk appear on her face, and she moved to hand the card back. “Anyway, I’m not sure. It’ll depend on your skills, but I can’t read those without your permission. Sometimes Jobs do have stipulations like that.”

“Okay,” I said, looking over the information once more. “What do the numbers and letters mean?”

“Your attributes. Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma. They’re scored with numbers. For people with jobs at first level, ten to twelve is normal for your non-key attributes, fourteen to sixteen for the key ones.” She took a quick glance at the tent before leaning in and whispering, “Ten or eleven is about the limit of human capabilities back on Earth, by the way.”

“Why can’t we talk about that around him?” I whispered back.

“It’s just easier, trust me. There’s not like, a rule about it or anything, but people have tried before, and no one here ever really understands. So we tell people we’re ancient heroes from this world, revived to fight the Demon King.”

“Demon King?” I said, feeling the hair on my tail stand up. “What the hell is that?”

“Well, it’s a long story, and no one really knows the whole of it, but the Demon King is the reason we’re here. They’re why there’s so many natural disasters, why monsters flood the world in the night, why the souls of the dead can’t rest.”

Those were all progressively more terrifying, but as scary as the last one sounded I was much more concerned about the second one in the immediate situation. 

“Why the hell are we out at night then!”

“Wardflame,” she said, pointing to the campfire. “Keeps monsters away, lasts till the morning, and won’t go out no matter what before then.”

Realistically, I should have known she wouldn’t be lying about us being safe, since her life was on the line as well, but logic did little to assuage my fears. Still, there wasn’t much I could do about it other than run off into the dark alone, so I just nodded and returned to reading my card to myself. “STR: 10, DEX: 16, CON: 12, INT: 7, WIS: 15, CHA: 14,” it said. 

“Uhm, is… What’s a good intelligence number?”

“Well, ‘good’ is relative. With your class, ten or eleven is standard, probably. Mine’s sixteen, but it’s a core attribute for me. The lunkhead over there is an eight, but don’t tell him I told you. It’s not really polite to reveal that information, but you need a reference since you’re not used to this stuff.”

Maybe that was why I was having trouble understanding everything. I stared at that number, trying to will it into something else. But no, unless it was missing a digit, it was definitely a seven, even lower than a lunkhead. There were two more numbers on the card though, reading “HP: 100% XP: 0%”

“When you said he was going to rough up my HP earlier, you didn’t mean my printer, did you?”

I could tell she was trying this time, really, really trying. She didn’t even actually laugh, but the pursed lips and squinting eyes as she struggled to hold it back were even louder than if she had. “No, sweetie. That’s short for health points, but they aren’t really points, just a general idea of how healthy you are. And XP is experience, your progress to the next level.”

I just blushed as I continued on, thankful she didn’t make me ask about operating systems at least. I did know what a level was. I was pretty sure, anyway…

“Skills:

Soul Strike - Accuracy: DEX. Power: WIS. Channel ki from your body to strike the soul of an enemy. Incompatible with any weapon other than unarmed strikes.

Healing Service - Heal others and yourself by providing a physical service. The amount healed is determined by how satisfying the service is.

Faithful Servant - XP is earned at a doubled rate, but only when it is gained in the course of providing service to another individual.”

That was the end of the card, and it hadn’t been nearly as clear to me as I hoped it would. “So, can I just show you this so you can explain it?” I asked. “I’m just going to have to read you all this out anyway. And I still don’t really get what role-playing has to do with any of this…”

She paused for a long while, studying me, examining me. It was honestly a lot of staring, and I instinctively started to cover myself under the cloak because of how intense the gaze was. “You can, I guess, but I have a couple questions first. For instance, you don’t have a corporate job, and you don’t know D&D, but you still have idea of what role-playing is. Why is that?”

She leaned in closer, and I could feel myself sweating as she did, despite the cool night’s air. “And I haven’t seen Downton Abbey, but I doubt servants go around looking for mistresses in that show. So what’s up with that too? You were sheltered in a lot of ways, but I’ve been with plenty of people like that, and you know what? The most sheltered people are always the most surprising. They’re always rebelling in one way or another, ways most people don’t pick up on. But I’m not most people.

“So, tell me Mai: who are you really, and why in this magical fantasy world is your mind on role-playing and mistresses?”