Emmy And Me

Mom continued to hold me, letting me cry. When I felt a small pair of arms wrap around us, I reached down and pulled Tiff into our now three-way embrace. It felt nice, but really didn’t do much to ease my heartache. I didn’t know what I’d said that had pissed Emmy off so bad, or why she was so angry with me. It hurt me deep inside that she hadn’t even said goodbye when she’d left.

Tiffany said something I couldn’t hear, so I pulled back to look at her. She repeated herself, “Where did Emmy go?”

“I wish I knew. I think she might have gone back to her house to talk to her parents, but I’m not sure.” The look of worry on her little face tore me up inside even more than I’d already been feeling.

“But this is Emmy’s house now!” Tiff objected, making my eyes burn with even more tears.

Eventually, I gave up on waiting for Emmy to come back and went to bed. That little double bed of mine had never felt so big or so empty as it did that night. I’d gotten so used to sleeping with Emmy’s head on my shoulder and her warm body snuggled up to mine that sleeping alone was almost impossible. When Tiff came into my room at three in the morning complaining of bad dreams I was happy to have her sleep with me. She certainly wasn’t my Em, but at least it helped the loneliness a bit. I still slept poorly, waking up every time a car drove by or I thought I heard a footstep on the stairs outside my window.

When my alarm went off and it was time to get ready for school I was as miserable as I’d ever been in my life. I showered and got ready quickly, because it was back to taking the city bus again for the first time in six months. Standing on the corner waiting for the bus, I was so completely lost in my misery I didn’t even notice that Stephanie had pulled up to the curb in her little gray Honda. She finally had to honk to get my attention, waving me to get in her car. I climbed in, grateful for a ride to school, even though I wasn’t looking forward to talking to anybody.

“What’s up? Why’re you waiting for the bus? Where’s Emmy? Are you O.K.? Is something wrong?” I heard Stephanie’s questions as if they came from very far away, and had no real bearing on me. Finally, she reached across and shook my shoulder, getting my attention.

“What’s the matter? What’s going on?” There was real concern in her voice, and her eyes told me she was worried for me, so I told her that Emmy had been really angry the night before and stormed out of the house, and didn’t come home at all.

“She seemed fine at the studio last night,” pondered Stephanie. “Actually, she seemed in a great mood.” Then, as if it suddenly occurred to her, “Did you guys have a fight?” she asked, wide-eyed.

“No, at least I don’t think so. I just told her that her mom had come over to talk to me while she was at dance, and she got really pissed off. She didn’t even say anything. She just grabbed her keys and took off. That’s it.”

“She didn’t say what she was, like, mad about?” asked Stephanie, still trying to grasp what had happened.

“No, nothing. I don’t know if she’s mad at me, or at her mom, or both.” I could feel the tears welling up again, and my voice getting all trembly. “I wish she’d said something, anything. Anything at all, so I could at least know what’s going on.”

We’d pulled into the school’s parking lot, but I wasn’t ready to get out and face the day. Stephanie just let me cry, rubbing my shoulder to comfort me. Finally, my tears dried up, and she handed me a baby wipe and a small bottle of eye drops from her backpack. “Use this to clean up. You don’t want to look like you’ve been crying.”

I appreciated it, and did what I could to put myself back together. As we walked to class, Stephanie asked “You really are in love with her, aren’t you?” in a gentle voice. I just nodded, feeling more numb than anything. As we parted to our respective home rooms, she gave me a quick hug, and said “It’ll be O.K.” I wasn’t so sure, but I nodded again, feeling sick inside.

Home Room was a blur, and when Brent asked where Emmy was, all I could do was tell him I didn’t know. The look on my face must have told him far more, though, because he knew better than to ask any more questions. At Art, Stephanie gave me a questioning look, but I just shook my head, and she understood. Lunch time rolled around, and I had no appetite but I sat down with Tom, Stephanie and Mindy anyway.

I was pretty sure Steph had told Mindy what was going on, because when I sat down Mindy put her hand on my arm and said “Has she called?”

“No, and I can’t call her because she forgot her phone when she left last night,” I said, pulling Emmy’s iPhone out of my pocket.

“Wait, what?” asked Tom. While Stephanie filled him in on what had happened last night, I idly scrolled through the pictures on Emmy’s phone. It struck me that I was in all of them. Either alone, or with friends, the photos all included me. There were dozens of pictures, and I was in every single one. I handed the phone to Stephanie to show her, and she looked through them, too. Her eyes got wide, and she took a long time looking at one of the photos. I reached to take the phone back, but she kept it away from me and kept looking. This had me curious, so I asked “What is it?”

“There’s two of them,” Stephanie said, handing it back to me. I looked at the picture she had been checking out, and just about had a heart attack. It was a photo of me, asleep in bed with the covers pulled down, lying on my back showing my naked boobs. My first instinct was to delete it, but I then I realized this photo meant something to Emmy, so I reconsidered. I found the second photo Stephanie had mentioned. It was me again, lying on my tummy, reading a book, listening to music with headphones on. I was on top of the covers on my bed, completely nude. The picture showed a clear view of my legs and butt, but thankfully, my girl parts weren’t on display.

“What? Let me see,” demanded Mindy, curious to know what was getting so much attention from Stephanie and me.

“No, I don’t think so,” I replied, putting the phone away.

“What was it?” Mindy asked Steph.

“Emmy took some naked pictures of Leah,” said Stephanie with a smile.

“O.K. Now I really want to see. Hand it over,” insisted Mindy.

“Not a chance,” I said, and I could feel my face getting red.

“Aw, come on,” said Stephanie. “It’s not like you have anything to be ashamed of. You’ve got a great body!”

“I will thank you to quit talking about my body,” I said, knowing full well it was a losing battle. Steph wasn’t going to let me forget it.

Mindy stuck out her lower lip in a pretend pout, then batted her eyelashes in a sorry attempt at puppy dog eyes. This made me laugh, but I wasn’t going to relent. I was O.K. with Emmy taking the photos (but I wished she’d told me) and O.K. with her keeping the photos on her phone, but I didn’t want them to be for public consumption.

I said to Mindy “I’ll tell you what. Show me some naked pictures of you, and I’ll show you these of me.”

I figured that would be the end of it, but Tom interjected with an “I’ll be right back. I’ve got to go to the bathroom. Anybody have a camera I can borrow?” I have to admit, that got me laughing along with the others. As far as I knew, Steph and Mindy weren’t aware that Tom was gay, so I’m sure they thought he would do it. Of course, I knew he couldn’t care less what I looked like with no clothes on, but it was still funny.

When lunch was over, Stephanie said “If she hasn’t called by the end of practice, let me know. We can drive out to her house and see what’s going on.”

“I’d go with you guys,” said Mindy, “But I’ve got to babysit this evening.”

After workout, Stephanie was waiting for me in the quad. Driving out of town out to Emmy’s house, I could tell something was on Steph’s mind.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked.

“Please don’t be mad, or, like, take this the wrong way,” Stephanie started, and I knew the conversation was going to be uncomfortable. “But I’ve been thinking about those pictures all afternoon.”

“The ones Emmy took?” I asked, just to be clear.

“Yeah. The naked pictures of you,” Steph agreed, looking as if she felt as awkward as I did. “I’m not really sure what I thought,” she continued. “But do you guys, well, you know?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” I probed, although I knew perfectly well what she was asking.

“I mean, do you two, like, do it?” She was nervous, but her curiosity was too much for her to keep these questions to herself.

“Do what?” Now I was just being mean, enjoying watching Steph squirm with discomfort. Hey, at least it kept my mind off how worried I was about Emmy.

“You know, have sex?” she blurted, finally getting out what she’d been trying to avoid actually saying. “I mean, she has naked pictures of you and all, so I thought…”

“Yes, Stephanie. Emmy and I do make love.” I was perfectly matter-of-fact about it, and the fact I hadn’t freaked out on her gave Stephanie courage.

About this time we were passing my apartment complex, and I looked for Emmy’s car but it wasn’t there. Sighing, I turned back to look at Stephanie. “Why so curious?” I asked.

“Why so curious, son?” Stephanie asked in her best Joker impersonation, which got a chuckle from me. Then, returning to the subject, she said “I don’t know… I guess I never really thought about it before. I mean, I knew Emmy was living with you, and I know you two are girlfriends, but- well, I just didn’t think about it, I guess.”

The way Stephanie said all this made me think there was more there, so I said “No, I somehow get the impression you did think about it, Steph.” I knew I’d hit the mark by the way she turned beet red and clammed up, unable to respond. “The photos just confirmed it for you, didn’t they?”

Knowing she’d been caught, Stephanie just nodded, keeping her eyes on the road and definitely not looking at me.

Then, wanting to know if my guess was right, “What is it you’ve been thinking about?” I asked in a gentle voice, to let her know it was O.K.

“Well, it’s just, you guys are so perfect. I mean, Emmy is amazing. She’s the best dancer I’ve ever seen, and she’s so talented it, like, almost makes me sick. She’s so beautiful in her weird way, and funny and nice. She was nice to me even way back at the start of the year, when I wasn’t so nice to her. And she’s so crazy about you, Leah. She adores you.” From the tone in her voice, I knew I had been right.

“You’re crushing on her, aren’t you? Don’t worry- I’m not going to tell anyone.” It surprised me how I’d missed it, but looking back, I could see things that I hadn’t given any thought to at the time that all pointed in this direction.

This time, Stephanie did look at me, taking her eyes off the narrow back road for a moment. “Well, sort of,” she admitted. “But really, it’s more about the two of you.”

“What?” was all I could think of to say.

“Well, like, the two of you are so perfect together. You’re both so crazy in love it kinda breaks my heart every time I see you two together. I just wish…” she trailed off, unsure how to continue.

“But what about you and Jonathan?” I asked.

“Jonny and me, we…” Steph started, but had difficulty finding the right words. “We just sort of go out because it seems like the thing to do. I mean, I like him and all, but I sure don’t love him.”

“So what does this have to do with the pictures Emmy took?” I wondered.

“It’s just- you guys are so comfortable with each other. She took those pictures because she loves to look at you, right? And don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t erase them,” she added with a little smirk in my direction. “Do you have any naked pictures of Emmy?”

“No, of course not!”

“But you do like to look at her, don’t you?” It had evidently become ‘give Leah a hard time’ time, and Steph was enjoying the turnabout.

“Well, of course. Like you said, she’s beautiful, and amazing. I could spend all day admiring her incredible legs, not to mention the rest of her.”

“Yeah, she does have great legs,” agreed Stephanie.

“So tell me about you and Jonathan. Why’re you so unhappy? He seems like a good guy,” I said, bringing the conversation back to her.

“Oh, he is, I guess. It’s just- well, I mean, there’s nothing there. I mean, nothing between us. He likes to be seen with a cheerleader on his arm, but he doesn’t really care about me for who I really am, if that makes sense.” I nodded to show I understood, but Stephanie was keeping her eyes on the road, so she wouldn’t miss the turn-off to Emmy’s house. “And I just can’t work up any real feelings for him, either. The only reason I go out with him is because it’s better than no boyfriend at all.”

“And you guys aren’t intimate?” I asked, trying to connect the dots.

“You mean, do we have sex?” Stephanie snorted derisively. “No, but I know Jonny would like to. He’s pressured me a little, but I keep telling him it’s not going to happen. I’m not going to give my virginity up to some guy just because he’s marginally better than nothing at all.”

“You’re still-” I started, but Steph interrupted.

“Yeah, I am.” She turned to give me a defiant glare, but I put up my hands to show that it was O.K.

“There it is,” I said, pointing to the turn off. Steph turned onto the little road between the avocado groves that led to the Lascaux estate’s driveway.

We pulled up to the big iron-bound wooden gate and the security guy that always manned the little guardhouse came out to the car. Leaning in to look in the driver’s window, he recognized me.

“Miss Farmer. What can I do for you?” he asked, in a pleasant tone.

“I’m looking for Emmy,” I replied, as Stephanie leaned back to let us talk.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You missed her. She left last night with her parents.”

“She left? Where did they go?” I asked, my heart sinking.

“Back to Europe. To Paris. We’re in the process of shutting the house down, because they aren’t certain when they’ll return. Is there a message I can send along?” The security guard had no idea how wounded I was by his words, delivered in such a friendly way. He smiled at me, wanting to be helpful, but I couldn’t even utter a sound.

Stephanie, recognizing my condition, said “No, that’s O.K. Thanks a lot!” and backed up until she could turn around, then drove me home. She didn’t say anything, and I couldn’t say anything. I was lower than I’d ever been in my life.

“Do you want me to stay?” Steph asked when she pulled into the lot at my place. I still couldn’t speak, or even move. I felt as if I’d been run over by a freight train, and all I wanted to do was die in peace. Stephanie unbuckled, and twisted around in her seat to face me. She looked at me for a while, then leaned in and wrapped her arms around me.

“I don’t know what her parents did or said,” Steph murmured into my neck, “but I do know that Emmy wouldn’t have left you by choice. Not ever, Leah. Not ever.”

Steph’s words penetrated the numbness, and I started sobbing. Wailing, really. I cried longer and harder than I had since I was a baby, and Stephanie just held onto me, making little comforting noises. We sat there, me crying my eyes out, and Stephanie holding me and stroking my hair for over an hour. When I finally stopped, I saw that it had gotten dark out and I hadn’t even noticed.

Stephanie got out and opened my door, helping me out of the car. I felt embarrassed at how useless I was, but grateful for her help. She wrapped an arm around my middle and half carried me up my stairs, then managed to get my keys out and opened the door. Stephanie helped me to my room, where she eased me into bed. She pulled off my shoes and then tucked me in, pulling my covers up to my chin.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, Steph said “I’ll call my mom and tell her I’ll be late. I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

“Thanks,” I sniffled. How had Stephanie become so good a friend, and so caring? I wondered what had happened to the girl that I’d thought was a stuck-up airhead back at the beginning of the school year, but who was now my best friend at that moment. My old friends had abandoned me, and that hurt a lot, but maybe I didn’t need them. New friends like Stephanie and Mindy, friends who accepted me, were all I needed.

I woke up with a start, hearing my mom and Stephanie’s voices in the hall. My room was dark, and the clock said it was past nine.

My door opened quietly and Mom peered in, looking to see if I was awake. “Lee?” she asked softly.

“Yeah?” I croaked, my voice gone from too much crying.

“Would you like some dinner? I saved some chicken.”

“No, thanks,” I managed, turning my back to the door.

“Lee, honey. Do you want to talk?”

I just shook my head, and Mom retreated, closing the door behind her. It opened again a moment later as Stephanie entered, then shut it behind her. She lay down on the edge of the bed and gently wrapped an arm around me. I felt a flush of anger- after all, that was Emmy’s spot- but then it passed, and I was just grateful for the companionship.

I woke up again in the middle of the night, and Stephanie was still there, sleeping in her clothes on top of the covers. She was sort of hunched up, and I realized the room was a bit cold so I pulled the covers from underneath her and lay them on top of Steph’s still sleeping figure.

When my alarm went off in the morning I had a momentary flash of happiness when I felt someone sleeping beside me, but I came crashing back to Earth when I remembered the night before and realized it wasn’t Emmy that was sharing my bed.

“Are you O.K.?” were Stephanie’s first words.

“No,” I replied, my throat still raw. “I’m not sure I’m ever going to be O.K. again.”

Chuckling, Steph said “I’ve got to zoom home and shower and change. I’ll pick you up for school.”

“You don’t need to do that,” I protested. “I’m not going to school today.” I pulled the pillow over my head to make my point.

“Yes, you are. Even if I have to, like, carry you. Which will be tough, since you’re twice as big as me, but I’ll do it anyway.” The tone in her voice made me laugh just a little bit, which she seized on. “It’s alive! It’s aaliiive!” she said in her best Gene Wilder voice.

“Damn your eyes!” I responded, amused that Steph would quote from my favorite movie of all time.

“Too late!” she replied, crossing her eyes. This exchange broke me out of my self-pity and actually got me to laugh.

“O.K. See you in a few. I have to bolt.” Stephanie said, as she got up. Looking at me as she put on her shoes, she said “Seriously. You need to go to school today. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” With that, she shot out of the door.

Resigned to my fate, I got up and took a shower, then slowly got ready for school. True to her word, Steph pulled into the parking lot surprisingly soon.

Climbing into the Honda, I said “I need caffeine, and I bet you do too. We need to stop at the coffee hut. My treat.” She didn’t protest, even though we were running a bit late.

After the tattooed and pierced barista had given us our daily jolts of delicious wakefulness, I turned to Stephanie.

“Thanks a lot for last night. You really didn’t need to stay, but I want you to know it meant a lot to me.”

Blushing a bit, Stephanie confessed “You know something funny? Last night was the first time I’ve ever slept in the same bed with another person, like, ever.” Then to clarify, she explained. “I mean, we didn’t ‘sleep together’ sleep together, but I’ve never actually fallen asleep with anybody next to me.”

“You never had any sleep overs when you were younger?” I asked, surprised.

She shook her head. “Nope.”

“Never climbed into Mom and Dad’s bed when you were little?”

“No,” Steph replied. “That just wasn’t something that happened in my house.”

“Wow. Well, I guess I’m honored to have been the one that took your sleeping with someone cherry.” I was only half joking, and she understood what I meant.

“I just wanted to be there for you,” she said, her voice gentle.

“I’m glad you were. It helped a lot.” Then, a bit of black humor occurred to me. “But don’t tell anybody. If word got out that I slept with you the day after my girlfriend left town, I’d never live it down.”

The look of shock on Stephanie’s face was definitely worth it, even if it only lasted a moment. “What, you don’t want the school to know the slut that you are? Sleeping with any girl that comes your way?” she jibed back.

“I’m just that kind of stud,” I answered, then lowered my voice. “But not everybody needs to know it,” I said, as sexy as I could make it.

Steph laughed, and so did I. Ah, the joy of gallows humor. My world was crashing down around me, but at least I could still manage to joke about it.

At Home Room, Brent sat down next to me. “Where’s Emmy?” he asked. “I noticed Miss Takei didn’t even call her name for attendance.”

“What?” I asked, then the realization of what that meant hit me. “Oh, no…”

“What’s the deal?” asked Brent.

“Emmy’s family went back to Europe the night before last. She’s gone. If her name wasn’t called, that means that the school knows she’s gone, too.” I felt sick inside, but there was nothing I could do.

I felt as if I were sleepwalking through my classes, and Emmy’s empty seat next to mine just hammered home what was missing.

At Art, Stephanie didn’t say anything, just gave my shoulder a squeeze. Candace gave me her usual dirty looks and was about to say something mean, but Stephanie stopped her with an angry glare. “Don’t,” she said, and Candace shut up.

Lunch at the caf was miserable. Nobody said anything much. Steph told Tom that Emmy’s family had gone back to France, and he made sympathetic noises, but that’s about it. The usual table seemed so empty and lifeless without Emmy’s bubbly personality to liven it up. Honestly, it felt like a funeral or something, and we were all in mourning.

Stephanie gave me a ride home that afternoon, too. I think she was concerned I might walk in front of a bus, which might have actually been a valid concern. It’s not that I was suicidal or anything, just numb. I was moving in a fog, and just couldn’t concentrate on anything around me at all. Practice had been pathetic. After a few minutes of blowing it badly, Coach just had me sit on the bleachers and watch. I was like some sort of zombie, somehow continuing to move mindlessly even though my heart had been torn out and I was dead inside.

On the drive to my apartment Steph did her best to cheer me up, but it didn’t work. My head leaned against the window, staring out at nothing, I was lost in my own world.

Steph walked me up to my place, and stuck around until my mom and sister got home. I told her that she didn’t need to stay, but honestly, I appreciated her company and the obvious concern she showed me. Before she left, Stephanie took me in a big hug, stroking my hair and telling me that it would all be O.K. somehow. I had been sitting on the edge of my bed, and the shock of feeling my face buried in her boobs turned my face red at first, but then I calmed down and realized it was unintentional, and she was just trying to comfort me, so I relaxed and took it for the innocent gesture that it was. Stephanie was doing her best to be there for me, and the whole ‘touchy-feely’ thing was kinda new for her, but she was doing what she could.

That night I had dinner with Mom and Tiff, but I could hardly taste it at all. I went to bed early, and Tiffany came into my room and sat on the edge of my bed for a while. She stroked my hair for a few minutes, then lay down next to me. I put the covers on top of her little body and pulled her into me, spooning her. I could feel her crying quietly against me, and it shattered the last few pieces of my heart that weren’t already broken.

“Shhh, Tiff. Emmy’ll be back,” I whispered, trying to convince us both it would be O.K.

“Why did she hafta go?” Tiffany whimpered.

“I don’t know. I just don’t know what happened, Tiffy. I wish I did.”

“I miss her. I don’t want her to be gone,” Tiff said in a tiny, sad little voice.

“Yeah, me too.”

We fell asleep that way, me spooning Tiff’s little frame against mine. It was like old times, back when Tiff had her bad dreams, before Emmy’s lullabies gave her restful sleep.

I felt a little better the next morning, and when Stephanie showed up to give me a lift to school, I almost felt human again. Almost being the key word there. We stopped for coffee at the drive-through java hut, and the familiar ritual made me think of Emmy and her espressos. O.K., it was going to take a long time to get back on track to a normal life again, and the misery of not even knowing what had actually happened or even if Emmy was ever going to come back was pure hell.

School was a little bit better, and when Miss Takei called attendance and Emmy’s name was once more not on the list, I had an idea. I had to wait until after school, but I was going to talk to the school Secretary, Mrs. Bradley. It was a long shot, but maybe I could find out how long Emmy was going to be gone.

I tried to pay attention in class and act as if everything was all right, and for the most part it worked. Lunch was still depressing, but Mindy and Tom chattered away about some movie that had been on T.V. the night before and that helped take my mind off the empty seat where Emmy should have been.

Finally, after last class, I had my chance to slip into the school office. “Do you know how long Emmy Lascaux is going to be out?” I asked Mrs. Bradley, hoping she had some positive news for me.

She checked the computer, and gave me the last answer I wanted to hear. “It looks as if she’s been pulled from school, Leah. Her parents had her transcripts sent back to her old school in Paris.”

Feeling as if I’d just been kicked in the chest, I managed to mutter a quick "Thanks,” and stumble out the door.

Since it was a Friday, I had no practice after school and neither did Stephanie. On the drive to my house (which suddenly occurred to me was just about the opposite way from Stephanie’s), she asked what had happened, and why I was so quiet.

“She’s not coming back,” was all I could say before choking on my tears.

“What? How do you know?”

“I asked at the office. Her parents had her transcripts sent back to her old school in Paris.” I slid lower in the passenger seat, just wanting to shut the world out.

“Oh, you’re kidding me! Are you sure?” Steph asked.

“What else could it mean?” I wished there were some other explanation, but I couldn’t think of any.

She didn’t have any answer for that, so Steph just rubbed my shoulder in silence.

When we got to my place, Stephanie walked me up to our apartment, and once again helped me to my room. “Do you want me to stay?” she asked, concern in her eyes.

“No. I just want to be alone, all right?” I said, falling back on my bed.

Steph gave my knee a squeeze and said, “If you need anything, or just need to talk, call me.” She left, quietly shutting the door behind her.

I woke up when Mom and Tiff got home, feeling like something Sylvester might have coughed up. Mom peeked in and asked if I thought I might want dinner. The idea of eating held zero appeal, but I said yes anyway, mainly to be polite. I knew Mom was really worried about me, and I needed to show her that I wasn’t going to try to kill myself, or anything stupid like that.

At dinner, I told Mom what I’d learned at the school office and she understood the ramifications instantly.

“Oh, Lee, honey. What are you going to do?” she asked. I knew she’d never really been one hundred percent happy with my relationship with Emmy, but I also knew Mom loved me a lot and hated seeing me so unhappy, so I took her sympathy at face value.

“I don’t know what I can do, Mom,” I said, pushing a piece of broccoli around my plate with my fork. “I have no way to contact her, and no way to find out, either. All I can do is hope she calls, or something.”

Tiffany had been listening to our conversation, but I don’t think she really understood. “Why don’t you call her?” she asked.

“Oh, Tiffy, I wish I could, but she left her phone here,” I said, pulling Emmy’s iPhone out of my pocket to show her. “And besides, I don’t know her phone number in France.”

“But can’t you go visit her?” I could only wish the world were as simple as Tiff’s almost eight-year-old brain thought it was.

“Tiffany, Emmy went back to France with her family,” Mom explained. “That’s a very, very long ways away. The city they live in, Paris, is very big, and without knowing where their house is, it would be impossible to find.” Always the teacher, my mom.

“But why did she go? Doesn’t she love us anymore?” Tiff was starting to cry, and that didn’t help me with my ‘sudden tears syndrome’ at all. We were both leaking from the eyes, and all Mom could do was look at the two of her daughters and wonder just what she could do to help mend our broken hearts.

After dinner I checked my email for the first time in days, hoping that maybe there’d be something from Emmy, but there wasn’t. I even checked the spam box, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I’d find something that had gotten filtered out, but there was nothing.

Tiffany slept with me again, and the poor little thing cried herself to sleep. Well, O.K., I did too, but at least I had a better idea of what had happened, sorta. No, actually, I didn’t understand why Emmy was gone any better than Tiff did, and it was killing me to just not know.

On Monday Andy came over to our table at lunch. “Leah. Hey. What’s going on? Where’s Emmy? Did you guys have a fight or something?”

Stephanie explained to him that Emmy had gone back to France with her folks, and it looked like they weren’t coming back any time soon, or maybe ever. I couldn’t bear the sympathetic look on Andy’s face, so I had to get up and leave. The fewer people who knew what I was going through the better.

Later that day, Candace Walters and her bitch friend Alyson Smith found me in the girls’ bathroom and thought they’d get to stick the knife in my back.

“So, your lezzie fuck-buddy abandoned you? Is that right? ‘Cause that’s what I heard.” Candace sneered. I have to give it to her; she showed some guts in confronting me. After all, I was taller and quite a bit bigger and stronger. Then again, maybe she thought two against one made up for her size disadvantage.

Alyson chimed in with “That snobby bitch dumped you like the trash you are, didn’t she?”

Alyson and Candace claimed I attacked them, but nobody believed it. I don’t remember the details very well, but I do know that the very first fight I’d ever gotten into in my life resulted in the three of us getting suspended for a week, and Candace and Alyson both needing stitches. I guess I won, but it sure didn’t make me feel any better.

Stephanie came over every day after school, sometimes with Mindy or Tom, sometimes alone. On Thursday, it was just Steph and me. We were sitting on my bed, and not saying much. Finally, Stephanie asked the question that had been bothering me for over a week.

“Do you have any idea what happened? With Emmy, I mean.”

“I don’t know for sure, but I think I might have some ideas,” I said. I mean, I’d been thinking about it almost non-stop, and there were just a few things that kept nagging at me.

“Like what?” Steph asked. “You said you guys didn’t, like, fight or anything, so what did happen?”

“No, we didn’t have a fight. At least, I wasn’t mad at her, but she might have been mad at me. I don’t know. All I know for sure is that her mom came to talk to me, and when I told Emmy that her mom had been over, she got really pissed and stormed out without saying anything. That was the last I’ve heard from her.”

“No explanation of why she was pissed off?”

“No. Well, maybe. I mean, she was angry when I told her that her mom had come over, but what sent her over the edge was when I told her that her mom was O.K. with the two of us being together, and in fact she’d offered to pay my college tuition at Stanford so we could be together.”

“Wait,” Stephanie said, thinking about what I’d just told her. “So Emmy was mad that her mom was O.K. with the two of you? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“No, I don’t think that was it,” I said, as it finally dawned on me what Emmy had been reacting to. “I think she was super pissed that her mom was trying to intervene in our life, even if it was to make it easier. She didn’t want anything more from her parents, and just wanted them to leave us alone.”

“Wow. That seems pretty unreasonable,” Stephanie said, and I had to agree with her, at least a little bit. After a few moments' thought, she asked “So why did she leave with them?”

“I think they didn’t ask her whether she wanted to or not,” I said, voicing the thought I’d become more and more convinced of.

“You mean, they like, kidnapped her?” Steph asked, wide-eyed.

“Well, yeah, I guess that’s one way to put it,” I said. “I mean, they’re pretty ruthless people, and she is very important to them.”

“What do you mean, ruthless? And what could be more important than their daughter’s happiness?” Stephanie was astonished, and I could see the surprise in her eyes.

“I’m not sure how much I can tell you. Some of it’s a secret, and I’m just not sure I can let it out. I probably shouldn’t tell you any of this, but I need to tell somebody something.” I realized I was being an idiot, but I’d been carrying it around for too long, and it was weighing heavily on me. I wasn’t ready to betray Emmy’s trust, but there were some details I thought would explain things without explaining everything.

Stephanie leaned forward, her eyes shining with the thrill of hearing what secrets I might tell her. “I promise I won’t tell anybody anything,” she breathed.

“O.K. Now this is really important you don’t tell anyone. I mean, really, really important. Nobody.”

She held up her hand as if she were swearing to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. “I promise. My lips are sealed.”

“Well, you know how all the help at her house called her ‘princess’?” When Steph nodded, I continued. “Well, it turns out she really is a princess. I mean like, for real. Like, heir to the throne and all that.”

“You’re kidding me!” Steph said, her voice doubtful.

“No, it’s true. That’s why her parents didn’t want the two of us together. Because they need her to have kids, because she’s the sole heir to the throne. If she doesn’t, the line dies out or something like that.”

“That’s why they have so much money?” Stephanie asked, amazed at the unexpected news.

“Well, yeah. And so much security.”

“I guess that also explains why they’d kidnap her, if they thought it was necessary,” Stephanie said, thinking about the ramifications. “If she told them to screw off, they’d take it real seriously.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been thinking, too.”

We were both silent for a while, then Steph said “I can see why you don’t want anybody to know.”

“Yeah, it’s super important you keep this a secret. Super freaking important.”

“I won’t tell anybody,” Stephanie agreed, running her hand across her lips as if she were pulling a zipper closed.

After a few minutes of silent thought, she asked “So, like, what’re you going to do?”

“I don’t know that there is anything I can do,” I groaned. “I mean, if she’s being held prisoner or something, they sure as hell won’t let her call me, would they? I sure can’t get all James Bond and break into their secret hideout and rescue her, either, so I’m pretty much out of options.”

“So you’re like, giving up on her coming back?”

“I don’t know,” I said, dejected. “Honestly, I doubt her parents will ever let her come back.”