Emmy And Me

The next few months sucked as far as our relationship was concerned. The sad truth is I hardly got to see Emmy at all. She was so wrapped up in her music project that she was spending almost every waking hour at the rehearsal space with her new bandmates Jackson Coolidge and Lee Park when she wasn’t in class. We tried to grab lunch together when we could and occasionally enjoyed lazy mornings in bed on weekends, but that was about the limit of our together time.

Although I admired Emmy’s drive and determination to succeed, I hoped it wasn’t going to be at the expense of our life together. A side effect of Emmy’s long hours working on her music was that the strays just sort of wound up as my issue to deal with. They got into the habit of calling me instead of Emmy when they needed something, and more often than not the Sunday night dinners at our house were just Michael, Jassie, Donny and me.

Donny was a great help, and I found myself spending a lot of time with him. He’d offered to help with what we referred to as ‘life lessons’ for the strays- basic stuff like how to shop for groceries, how to clean their apartments, things like that. He had a whole lot more patience for it than I had, and was very good at explaining things so the strays could understand.

In fact, after Emmy and I discussed it, we started paying Donny for his time. He didn’t want to accept any money from us at first but finally gave in. I also talked him into letting us rent an apartment for him so he could get out of the dorms and away from his no-load roommate and nearer to us. He didn't like the idea of mooching off us but finally agreed when I worked out a deal with him. Donny would live in the apartment we rented for him, and in return he would help the strays get accustomed to their new lives in the daylight. He tutored them in English, taught them personal finance, and so on. He helped them fill out job applications, and coached them on what to do in interviews when they got them. His help was a real big deal, and the strays owed him a lot.

I was working out harder and longer than ever before, too. Since the season was over and there were no official V Ball workouts I’d asked team trainer Sammy to develop a fitness plan for me. I wanted to go into the summer’s training camp stronger and fitter than I’d ever been in my life so I was determined to work hard in the off season.

When I first approached Sammy, she was fired up with the idea. “Leah, you train harder than just about anybody I’ve ever seen. When I gave you that workout plan after last July’s camp, well, you know, I figured it was just a waste of time. It usually is. But you came to school in August noticeably stronger, and the work you’d done showed. If you can stick with it, I can give you a plan that will take you to another level.”

That’s exactly what she did. She had me doing weights and plyometrics in the gym, along with alternating days of kickboxing for speed and yoga for flexibility. All in all, it was three hours a day of workouts. The first few weeks were rough, but once I settled into the groove I could really feel myself getting faster and stronger, so I did what I could and pushed it hard and the improvements in my fitness became their own reward.

It also helped keep me distracted from how little time Emmy and I were spending together, which was a good thing because it was hard not to get jealous of the time she was putting into her band. I kept telling myself it was my idea, it was for a good cause, and I promised I would do anything it took, right? Yeah, that didn’t help my lonely feelings much when I ate dinner alone in our condo, with just the stereo for company. The only real consolation was knowing that it wasn't going to be like this forever.

One Friday in March during a break in our team’s weekly ‘voluntary’ volleyball game, Stacey and Kim asked me if that was my girlfriend in that band on YouTube. When they saw the confused look on my face, Stacey added “They’re called ‘The Downfall’, right?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s Emmy’s band,” I answered. “On YouTube?” I asked. Emmy hadn’t mentioned anything about any videos, so it took me as a surprise.

“Yeah. They’ve got a whole bunch of videos. Wait- you mean to tell me you didn’t know your girlfriend’s band is on YouTube?” Kim asked.

“Well, no,” I admitted. “We don’t really talk about her band much at all.” We don’t talk about anything much at all, I wanted to say, but kept it to myself.

“Seriously? Her band has, like, maybe ten or fifteen videos posted up. They have their own channel, and you didn’t know?” Kim demanded, still unable to believe it.

When I got home that evening the house was empty (no surprise) so I turned on my computer and searched for the videos. Sure enough, there they were. Over a dozen of them. They had a lot of views, too. In fact, the video of them doing that ZZ Top song about a cathouse in Texas had over a million views, and tons of ‘likes’. I watched the video, smiling at the image of Emmy and Jackson wearing big, cheesy fake beards. When Emmy sang “How how how” and waggled her eyebrows I nearly sprayed my Coke on the screen. Reading through the comments, almost all of them were positive.

I watched all the rest of the videos and read through tons and tons of comments. A few themes emerged. One was that a lot of people wondered what was up with Emmy. Her looks had really caught everybody’s attention. There were a few comments that seemed to be from people that knew her, who said she really did look like that in real life. The second thing that became clear is that a lot of people thought the band was amazing (especially Emmy on the guitar) and wanted them to do some original songs, instead of just the cover tunes they were posting.

After watching the videos and reading through thousands of comments, I started googling Emmy’s band to see what else might be out there. There were tons of blog posts linking to the videos and the band’s website, and even a few professional music reviewers commenting on the videos. In fact, a website called Pitchfork even listed the Downfall’s version of Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” as one of the best tracks from a new band in a long time.

I was still online when Emmy came home. “Em, why didn’t you tell me you guys had videos and everything?” I asked as she came over and kissed me hello.

Looking over my shoulder at the laptop she replied “I did not think you would be very interested.”

“Not interested? Of course I’m interested! Why would you think I wouldn’t be?”

“You never come to our rehearsals, Leah. The few times I’ve tried to talk to you about what was happening you seemed distracted, as if you were not paying attention, so I stopped.” There was a note of hurt in her voice. “It has seemed to me that it did not interest you at all.”

“Oh, babe,” I said, realizing that maybe she was right and I’d just been too caught up in my own world. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give you that impression. I am interested, really. I guess I thought you guys were still just rehearsing, and I have to admit I do think that’s boring. But actually recording? You guys are much farther along than I’d realized,” I said, pulling Emmy onto my lap.

With a few clicks I brought up the video they’d done for ‘Wipeout’. “This one is my favorite. I wish I could have been there when you guys made the video,” I said, as we watched. Emmy was wearing an old-fashioned bikini, playing her white guitar while standing on a surfboard. Jackson was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and swim trunks, also standing on a surfboard playing his bass guitar, while Lee had his drum kit set on another board. Really cheesy greenscreen effects had the three of them on a giant wave. It was so obviously tongue-in-cheek that you couldn’t help but laugh. The musicianship was incredibly solid, though, so once the initial comedy wore off you realized just how good the three of them were. Turning the volume up so we both could hear, I caught Jackson saying “Fuck yeah!” after one of Lee’s amazing drum solos and it made me laugh.

After that video was over I clicked to a couple of others that I’d liked. When we were done watching them I asked Emmy if she was hungry. When she said no, I said “I think I’m ready for some dessert.” She asked what I wanted for dessert, and I looked her straight in the eye. I waggled my eyebrows and replied “hmm hmm hmm” just like Billy Gibbons. She laughed and kissed me, so I picked her up and carried her upstairs to the bedroom for some hot love.

The next morning we were lazy and stayed in bed until late. I was lying on my belly, enjoying the feel of Emmy’s gentle touch as she ran her hands up and down my back. “Your tan has faded,” she said. A moment later, she added “That makes me sad, and happy, and sad because it makes me happy.”

“That makes no sense,” I murmured, enjoying on the feel of her touch on my skin.

“I feel sad, because your tan was so beautiful,” she explained. “You were like warm gold. You were like summer, and like the sunlight on a perfect day. You are still very beautiful, of course,” she added. “But your tan was… one of the most beautiful things ever.” Straddling my thighs, Emmy went on. “That is why I am sad your tan is fading. The reason I am happy it is fading is because I know you got that tan with Stephanie-”

“Em-” I started to interrupt but she continued, ignoring my interruption.

“And it is a reminder of something she could do with you that I never could. I could never lie by the pool and enjoy the sunshine the way that you and Stephanie can do. As much as I hate to admit it, Leah, I am jealous. Jealous of Stephanie of course, but also envious of you.”

“Oh, Em,” I sighed.

“It makes me sad that I am jealous of you and Stephanie. I know I should not be, but I am. I wish…” she stopped, at a loss for words. She leaned down and kissed my bare back, slowly trailing soft little kisses along my spine.

“I love you so much, Em,” I replied. “And you know what? I love that you’re different from everybody else. I love the color of your skin. It’s like black velvet, so smooth, so soft.” I turned over so I could face her. “I love your hair. I love your amazing eyes, Em. I love that you can do things I can’t. Don’t ever think any less of yourself because of the way you are. I sure don’t,” I said, pulling her down to me and kissing her as if there were no tomorrow. She just melted onto me as I ran my hands over her bare skin. It was perfect. Just Emmy, me, and all the time in the world. The way she fit against me, the way she smelled, the way she tasted. The small, contented sighs she made, the way she moved. Perfect.

Later, while recovering, Emmy whispered “I never want this to end,” a satisfied half-smile on her face. “Promise me this will never end.”

My sweat cooling, I reached over and took her hand. “I promise you that it will always be like this.” I played with the ring on her finger, saying “This is my promise.”

After lunch I went with Emmy to the rehearsal studio. Emmy had told me they were working on original songs, so maybe I would find it interesting.

I spent the afternoon listening to them work on the same song over and over, which really did reinforce my impression that rehearsals were just plain tedious. I tried not to give Emmy the impression I was crushingly bored, but I think she realized it anyway.

At dinner, she thanked me for staying. “I know that you do not find practice very interesting, Leah-”

“No,” I started to protest but she kept going.

“It is O.K. I understand. The process is very slow, but the end results can be amazing. Hopefully we will be ready to go into the recording studio in a couple of weeks and record our first album. I think that the YouTube videos have generated some interest in the band-”

“I’d say so!” I interrupted. “You’ve got millions of views! I think when you put out a CD people are gonna be lining up to get it!”

“I hope so,” Emmy said, smiling. “I hope people like it.”

“Em, I spent almost all of last night reading a zillion comments on your videos on YouTube. A few were negative, but most were about how amazing you guys- and you in particular- are. People are fired up about the band, and really interested and curious about you, too.”

“Yes, I have read some of the comments. It does seem as if your idea is working, Leah. A lot of people have had their first glimpse of a child of the night because of our music, and most reactions have been curiosity, not fear,” Emmy agreed. “I am very pleased.”

“I'm glad it's working, too,” I said. I didn't mention that I was jealous of the time the whole music project was taking from us being together, and a part of me regretted the whole thing. I didn’t want to take anything away from the moment, and the glow that Emmy was feeling about The Downfall.