Emmy And Me

Leaning back on the lounge chair, sipping my drink, looking at the sky, I lost myself in thought. Or maybe not-thought. I don’t know. I guess it was easier to not think, just sort of zone out and wallow in grief for an event that hadn’t even happened yet. My phone buzzed a few times, but I ignored it. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to Emmy, or Stephanie either.

My glass empty, I went back down to the kitchen and fixed myself another drink. I sipped from the glass as I walked around the townhouse that Emmy and I had shared for nearly four years. I looked at the rubber tree in the sunny corner of the living room, the one that had grown so well that I’d had to re-pot it every year since I bought it at the farmer’s market so long ago. It was perfect for the house, and I wanted to leave it for Michael and Jassie, but I wasn’t sure they would know how to keep it alive and thriving.

I looked at the antique dagger on the mantle, too. I guess I’d been ignoring it for years, not really bothering to give it any thought- it was simply an item on display. Really looking at it brought back a rush of memories, foremost among them was the fact that I’d used it to kill for the very first time.

I’d taken a man’s life with that dagger, then kept it as a souvenir, a reminder. A reminder to others that I wasn’t to be messed with, and a reminder to myself of what I was capable of doing when the time came.

Well, that time had come again not even two years later. All in all, I’d killed four men with my own hands. The thought made me melancholy, but not because those lives had been ended. No, I was melancholy because I had been brought to that point, the point where killing another person was the solution to my problems.

Any rationalizations I might make about the fact they were bad people and would hurt those I loved were for others, not for me. I knew that I did what needed to be done then and there, and if I found myself in a similar situation in the future, well, I’d spill blood again. Without hesitation, and apparently, without any real remorse.

‘Is this what it was like for you, Dad?’ I asked silently, looking at the dress uniform in its big shadowbox frame. ‘Was it just something that needed to be done, so you did it?’

I realized I’d reached the bottom of my glass, so I mixed another drink, then drank half of the paloma staring at the Eagle, Globe And Anchor on the collar of Dad’s dress blues. ‘Swift, Silent And Deadly,’ I thought to myself, thinking of the medals, badges and insignias framed and displayed at Mom’s house.

I was just about to mix myself another drink when a knock on the door startled me. My watch said it was past one in the morning, so I was cautious as I checked out who it was.

I was surprised to see Donny, looking concerned, waiting on my doorstep. “What are you doing here so late?” I asked as I let him in.

“Emmy called,” he said, sitting down at the kitchen counter. “She was worried. She’s been trying to reach you for a while now.”

I went to check my phone, but it wasn’t in my pocket.

“Aw, shit,” I groaned. “I must have left my phone up on the deck. I’ll be right back,” I said, as I went back up to the roof to get it. Sure enough, it showed I’d missed a lot of calls and texts.

When I got back down to the kitchen, Donny asked “What’s going on, Leah?”

“Just- I don’t know. I’m in a crappy mood, I guess. Being reminded that Emmy is moon kissed, missing Em, thinking about how school is over and soon you’re going to Seattle and we’re going to L.A…. Just things, you know?” I said.

“None of that is exactly news,” Donny said.

“No, it’s not news. It just sort of all hit me at the same time, that’s all,” I replied. “Hey, want a drink? These are good,” I added, pouring myself my fourth or maybe fifth paloma of the evening.

“How many of those have you had?”

“I haven’t been counting. Want one?” I asked.

"Uh, thanks, but no. My last test is tomorrow, and I need to be sharp for it,” Donny said. “Are you done with your finals?”

“Yeah, I had my last one today. It was a breeze. I can sleep in tomorrow.”

“Lucky you,” Donny said, stealing a little sip from my glass. “Hey, that is good. Maybe tomorrow night you can make us some to go with dinner?”

“I’m on the hook for dinner tomorrow?”

“Oh, hell yes. You’ve taken your last final at Stanford today, mine is tomorrow. Tomorrow night we celebrate!”

“Hey, let’s go out then,” I suggested. “See if Jassie can babysit Aaron, and let’s go out for dinner and maybe hit a bar afterwards. Sound good?”

“I’m down,” Donny agreed. “But now I gotta go home and get some sleep so I can kick ass on my CRISPR final.”

“Donny?” I said as he was about to step out the door.

“Yeah?”

“You know I love you, right? You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” I said.

“I know,” he said, with a smug look on his face, then ducked out the door.

Smiling to myself at how Donny could always lighten the mood, I finished off my drink and went to bed.

I had a bit of a hangover the next morning, so I drank a bunch of water and had a cool shower to bring myself back to life. After eating breakfast, I finally felt up to calling Emmy back to tell her that yes, I was alive, and yes, I still did love her.

Of course, she didn’t answer so I just left a lame voice mail message and went out for a run.

I was running the Grove trails when up ahead, by the Angel, I saw another girl running. She was going my speed, so being the competitor that I am, I put in a little kick to catch up. This girl was going at a pretty respectable pace and her gait was nice and smooth, so it was obvious she wasn’t just a casual jogger. It took me a little while to catch up, and I turned right towards the Oval to follow her where my route would normally have me continue straight.

She wasn’t as tall as me, but then, very few women are. Still, she must have been five foot nine or something like that, so tall enough. Her long, dark hair was pulled back in a pony tail, which swung back and forth as she ran. Her legs were nice and lean, and well tanned, too, highlighting just how bright her optic yellow runner’s split shorts really were.

At first, I’d wanted to catch her merely as a personal challenge, but as I got close, I realized I didn’t really want to pass her all that much at all. Recognizing that I was perving on her athletic figure, I drew up next to her and saw she was running with earbuds in.

I know a lot of runners do that, but to me it seems like an extremely bad idea. I, for one, would really want to hear the out of control car coming up behind me in time to get out of the way. Or, in a case like this, hear that somebody was sneaking up on me from behind.

In fact, she jumped with surprise when she finally spotted me out of the corner of her eye as I caught up.

“Sorry!” she blurted out as she moved over on the sidewalk to give me more room.

Looking at her, I realized she was young. I mean, I was only twenty-two, so it isn’t as if I was old, but this girl must not have been any older than just a freshman.

I indicated she should pull out her earbud, which she did immediately.

“I’m sorry- I didn’t hear you behind me,” she said, not even breathing all that hard.

“Yeah, I could tell,” I replied. “I’ve been following you since the Angel.”

Her eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” I said as we ran along side by side. “Look, I’m not one to tell you what to do, but that just isn’t safe. You really need to pay more attention to your surroundings.”

My sermon over, we got to chatting as we ran. She asked if I was a senior, and told me she was just finishing her freshman year. She was on the track team, had been the star of her small-town high school track team back in Virginia and wanted to go to a West Coast school to get away from everything back there, her freshman year was hard, but she passed all her classes and kept her GPA high enough to keep her scholarship, and…

I stopped paying much attention after a while. This girl was obviously smart enough to keep up her grades at Stanford, but at the same time, she seemed like a complete airhead. Just listening to her talk made me feel so old- much older than the three year difference in our ages could possibly explain.

“Hey, want to get lunch?” she asked as we came to a stop by her dorm, a hopeful look on her face.

“Sure, sounds good,” I replied. “I need to go home and shower. Pick you up in, say, forty-five minutes?”

“Where do you want to go?” she asked, puzzled by the idea that we would actually go someplace rather than eat at the Commons.

“There’s a really good burger place over on Emerson. You aren’t vegan, are you?”

“No, burgers are cool,” she said. "See you right here in forty-five!” she chirped, as she vanished into Toyon Hall.

I ran home, wondering if the girl whose name I never even got was thinking this was some sort of date, then wondering if it really was some sort of date, and what was I doing talking to cute girls anyhow- I was a happily married woman, right? I half talked myself into simply not showing up, but then I realized that was the jerk move and I didn’t want to be ‘that guy’.

As I showered, I thought about what I was doing. Just a little harmless flirting, I decided. She might not even be into girls, much less be interested in that way. Her invite might simply just an act of simple friendliness.

Well, I was going to buy her lunch, try to convince her to ditch the earbuds when she ran, and just maybe make a new friend, who I will probably never, ever see again.

I dressed casual in jeans and a Cardinal T shirt, and pulled my hair back in a simple pony tail. I didn’t want to look as if I’d dressed up for the occasion.

In the garage, on a whim, I jumped in the Aston. She was from a small town in Virginia, right? She might not have ever been in a car as nice as that, so why not give her a little treat?

I ignored the little voice that said “Yeah, that car is the panty-dropper.” That really wasn’t what it was all about.

I pulled up by the dorm, and there she was, waiting. Her eyes got huge when she saw the car, so I definitely got the reaction I’d hoped for.

She had gone a bit farther out of her way to look good for the not-date, with some light makeup and a cute little yellow sun dress.

I stepped out of the car, asking, “Ready?”

“Is this really your car?” she asked, looking back and forth from me to the Aston.

“Yeah, it’s mine,” I said. “Hop in.”

“This is a really nice car,” she said as she sat down.

“I like it,” I agreed.

“James Bond drives one of these, right?” she asked, admiring the wood dash.

“No, his car was a DBS. That’s actually a bigger car, more of a GT than a real sports car. This is a Vantage.”

“It’s really nice,” she repeated.

I found a parking spot fairly easily, and the burger place was mostly empty- I guess as a result of school being out for those who were done with finals, and those who still had finals weren’t likely to go out to eat. We grabbed a table in the patio, where the music wasn’t so loud.

“What do you recommend?” she asked, leaning forward.

This had the effect of allowing me to see down the front of her dress, which I really tried not to do, but those tan lines and little brown nipples were hard to ignore.

“Um,” I said, completely drawing a blank.

“How is the breast?” she asked.

“What?”

“The chicken breast. The sandwich,” she explained.

Regaining my footing, I looked her straight in the eyes and said “Well, I haven't sampled the breast, but I do have to say it looks good.”

This got the reaction I’d hoped for, and she burst out laughing. “So, you’ve had a good look at it?”

“Only briefly,” I said, with a shrug.

“That’s a shame,” she said, leaning forward again, and pointing at something random on my menu. Of course, I took a much longer look, since she was inviting it.

I looked up and met her smiling eyes. “Yes, the breast looks tasty.”

“Is that what you like? Breast, I mean?” she asked, and I could tell we were getting into sex comedy territory. She’d clearly laid out that she was available and tested to see if I was interested, and I was willing to go along for a while but there was no way I was ever going to seal the deal. For me, this was just fun and games.

“Breast is good,” I said. “But tacos, I could eat tacos all day long.”

“I’ve never actually had tacos,” She said, crossing her arms under her bust and leaning forward, making sure I had plenty of time to gaze deeply at her chest. “But I’d like to give them a try.”

“Well, I’m sorry to say they aren’t on the menu,” I said, leaning back.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” I replied. “Absolutely positive.”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to do without,” she said, leaning back with a laugh.

“Hey, this is college,” I said. “There are plenty of good tacos available if you just look.”

“Well, I was hoping I’d found one, but I was denied,” she said with an exaggerated pout.

That over, we both ordered burgers and the conversation turned to harmless topics. I finally point blank asked her name, and she told me it was “Ashley, not spelled weird with a G H or anything like that, and my friends call me Ash.” I told her mine, and explained that I was married and had been for a couple of years already.

“So why did you ask me on a date?” Ash asked.

“You asked me if I wanted to have lunch,” I protested.

“Yeah, I guess I did, didn’t I? So why did you take me up on it?”

“Bored, I guess,” I admitted. “My wife is in New York and I would have otherwise just eaten lunch alone.”

“Wife? So you do eat tacos, then!” Ash said, triumphantly.

“Yes, I am in fact a taco eater,” I agreed, just as the waitress showed up with our food. To the waitress’ credit, she barely snickered.

“And I do enjoy breast meat, too, but really, I think that I’ve come to realize I like thighs more,” I added.

“So, am I correct in assuming that the reason you followed me halfway across campus was to check me out?” Ash asked.

“Not at first, and not at the end, but for a little while, for sure,” I agreed.

“My thighs looked tasty to a dedicated taco eater?”

Nodding, I shrugged. “What can I say?”

The dam burst with that, and Ashley just couldn't keep from laughing. Soon enough the two of us were giggling like idiots, drawing looks from the few other diners in the patio.

Done with lunch, Ashley asked “Can we just, you know, maybe drive for a little bit?” once we got in the car.

I checked my watch and saw that I had plenty of time, and the idea of a nice run up Mt Hamilton Rd would be fun. “How fast do you want it?” I asked.

“I like it good and fast, but not if it is over too soon,” she replied.

“And back to the innuendos,” I said with a laugh.

“No, these aren’t innuendos,” Ashley said, pulling the front of her dress down and just plain popping her boobs out at me. “These are outduendos.”

“Yeah, they sure do seem to be out,” I said.

“I know you said no taco eating was gonna happen, and this was just a friendly lunch, but I was really hoping it was going to be… well, more,” Ashley said, pulling her top back up and covering her cute little boobs.

“The only ‘more’ you’re gonna get is a car drive to the top of that mountain over there,” I said, pointing to the east. “I’m serious about being happily married. I agreed to have lunch with you, and lunch was good-”

“How were the sights?” Ash interrupted.

“The sights were good, too,” I admitted. “But not good enough to tempt me away from my wife.”

“Humph,” Ashley humphed, crossing her arms. “Well, can we at least go for that ride you promised? This is a really nice car.”

“It’s a really fast car, too,” I said. "This is a perfect time for a Hamilton run. It’s a weekday, and too hot for the bikers. The road should be pretty empty.”

“Let’s do it,” Ashley said, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

As I’d hoped, we got really lucky and had the road almost entirely to ourselves. I very rarely let the car really rip on public roads, but all that track time and instruction I’d gotten over the last three years made itself known and I absolutely railed up that hill.

Somebody had once told me that there were 365 curves on that road, but I certainly can’t say I’d ever counted to actually check for sure. All I know is that those are some of the twistiest eighteen miles of roadway I’d ever driven, and that Aston Martin was made for roads like that.

Ashley squealed with delight every time I stepped the back out in a drift, to the point that I was sure her voice was going to give out. As we slowed to pull into the little parking lot by the observatory, Ashley held out her hand.

“Look- I’m shaking,” she said, and sure enough, her hand was trembling.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I said. “I thought you were enjoying it.”

“Leah, that was the most amazingly terrifying and exciting thing I have ever experienced,” Ashley said. “I freaking loved it so hard I can’t even begin to tell you.”

“Well, you want to keep going?” I asked.

“I have never wanted to go all the way so badly in my life,” Ashley answered, getting a laugh from me.

Ashley looked around, and said, “No, I’m serious. I am so wet, you’re gonna have to get this seat cleaned.” She hiked up her little skirt up to around her hips and spread her legs as much as the somewhat cramped leg space would allow, rotating her hips back to show me her shaved pussy. “I’m so soaked- I’ve never been like this in my life.”

“Tacos are still not on the menu,” I said, glancing one last time at her swollen brown clit, before backing out of the parking space.

I turned the car east, figuring we’d hit Mines Rd before heading back to Palo Alto, and wondering what to do about Ashley.