Dungeon at the End of the Universe

Quest notification:
Quest complete!

I’m actually kind of surprised by that notification, as what I have made by that point is far from what I’d consider a proper room. But to each their own, I suppose. Seeing as the reward for that quest was supposed to be just the next one in this quest-line, I immediately open that, instead of reading a quest completion message with some likely insulting text.

Quest: Burgeoning Dungeon 3
With the beginnings of a proper dungeon layout established, it’s time to protect some of it. Sometimes they are utilized in creative and unexpected ways, but in the end, they’ll always be the same things all Dungeons use. Traps
Objective: Make a trap
Reward: Burgeoning Dungeon 4

Alright, I can already see how this will go. It’s just walking me through what I already went over as a part of the Tutorial quest. So there should be at least two more quests after this one. I think.

I quickly tell Faellen about the quest update, but it just waves me off, likely deep in thought about problems I don’t even know I have yet. Then, it’s back off to room construction.

What? Did you really think I would stop just because the System deemed it good enough for the quest? If so, you’ve got some things to learn.

I would never ever, absolutely under no circumstances, let a room as misshapen as what I currently had be ‘good enough’. It looked like a potato next to the perfect sphere of my Core Room.

Besides. Even if I were willing to let such a room be a part of my dungeon, I still needed the time to think up a design for a trap.

Normally, I imagine that would be a non-issue, seeing as most other Dungeons would spawn with a local gravity well already affecting them. But not me. No, I had to have all the easy paths taken from me.

So, yeah. Instead of making a simple pit trap, I’ll have to figure out how to even do traps in no gravity.

Actually, maybe that’s one of the things Faellen has been working on. Better ask the little fairy, just in case.

“What? Traps? No, why would I be thinking about those? I have bigger things to worry about, like figuring out how not to starve. Just make a pit trap and get it over with,” it replied, obviously very annoyed.

“But Faellen! I can’t make a pit trap. Well, I could, but it wouldn’t work. It’d be completely useless!” I replied in a dignified manner, not at all whining.

“Look… Dungeon. The System is rather obviously struggling with your very existence. I don’t think it’ll look too deep into if your trap has actual practical applications. Also, as a side-note, you need to figure out a name, unless you want to be called Dungeon, which is fine by me.”

Wow, the exasperation was practically dripping off of Faellen there. How should I have known that though? I mean, from my perspective the System is an omniscient being that has some unknown criteria it hold people (or Users) to.

“Fine, but I’m telling you, it won’t work,” I mutter, sure that it would be heard regardless thanks to the whole telepathy thing.

I quickly got to work on making a pit trap in my new room. Which, as one might expect, just involved making a hole. And thanks to no gravity it was pretty much indistinguishable from the beginnings of another tunnel.

Then I simply covered it with an extremely think layer of Dungeon Stone that would have collapsed under its own weight, if it had any.

Quest notification:
Quest complete!

For fucks sake! You can’t be serious!