Dragon God’s System

Apparently, I had worried for nothing. My familiar was more than willing to assist me in decimating the local bat population. Alsvartr obviously didn’t consider bats to be related to her at all. First, however, I had to make sure we could even get experience from slaying bats. Because of this, I sent her a telepathic request to find a solitary bat to kill, just to see if it provided any experience for us.

While I was waiting, I went flew back up to the bed, laid back, and started snacking on dried…beef. Yep, definitely dried beef. I kept that firmly in my mind while I gnawed on the tough meat. Also, the only reason it didn’t taste like any dried meat I had ever eaten was because I was a kobold now and had different taste buds. Yes, that was the reason. The meat definitely wasn’t some type or worm or…whatever. I sat there, munching away at the various dried foods until I started to become drowsy and fell asleep. 

 A grumbling stomach woke me up the next day. Apparently, I had slept through my next visitors because there was fresh food on the table. A few of the edibles had even managed to escape to the floor. However, having been brought up not to waste food, I quickly grabbed the little guys and popped them into my mouth. I was so hungry that I didn’t even care that I was eating off the floor. 

After I had eaten most of the food, I noticed a box placed at the edge of the table. On the box there was a note. Unlike the previous magic items that had been left for me, the note on this box wasn’t just a quick description. Instead, it was a detailed letter about the contents of the box. Realizing that this was something special, I set aside the food for a moment and concentrated on the letter.

Phylactery of Hyggiandi

• Notes

• At first, this necklace tries to teach the wearer about various knowledge and about magic. The more intelligent the wearer is, the more likely it is to tolerate that person. However, should the wearer fail to live up to its expectations, it will begin to torment that person until they are driven crazy. 

• • It identifies as a female entity named Hyggiandi.
  • It is bossy, and nags, a lot.

• Beneficial Properties
  • Increases Intelligence and Wisdom
  • Increases proficiency in knowledge based skills
  • Increases damage mitigation
• Detrimental Properties
  • You take psychic damage when you attune to it. The amount of damage is inversely related to the wearer’s intelligence: the more intelligent the wearer, the less damage they receive.
  • You also take psychic damage when you botch attempts to use knowledge based skills.
• Other Properties
  • It knows a variety of spells, but can only cast mind-related spells without the wearer’s assistance.
  • These spells are often cast to the detriment of the wearer, especially if the wearer doesn’t listen to it.

The more I read, the more my eyes widened. “My goodness. Wait, isn’t this too similar to the Ring of Mind Shielding? Well, there are a few differences. Let’s see. First, you aren’t going to be hostile to me, at least initially. Second, you like smart people, and I am very smart.

“While I could repeat what I did with the ring, that might not be the best idea. After all, having an ally who can answer my questions and teach me about the world would actually be ideal. The beneficial properties are nice as well. As for the other properties, I’m not too worried about them.”

I paused for a moment as I considered the one thing that might make me change my mind, the fact that the necklace is bossy nags. While that would normally be a hard pass for me, the threat of destroying the necklace might be enough to mitigate the nagging. The same was true if she decided to use her powers against me.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the box and looked at the necklace. I blinked. Then I made a face. “Okay. I am not sure how such a big necklace can still be so feminine. I mean, it does look expensive. Detailed and ornate were definitely apt descriptors of the necklace. Parts of it even looked like overlapping chains.”

However, I was a little surprised that it could look so feminine and still not have any large jewels embedded in it. I did have to admit that the black and gold metal went well with the colors of scales. In fact, the black sections almost blended in with the scales too well. With a touch of reluctance, I leaned forward and picked up the necklace. As soon as I placed it around my neck, an image of Mr. T flashed through my mind. 

Nothing happened. I sighed when I suddenly remembered the reason why. I hadn’t attuned the item yet. Just like the boots needed attunement, so too did the necklace. I was about to say something about being an idiot when I gave myself a break. After all, I wasn’t even a week old. As for the old me, what would he have thought about me if he could see me now? Taking a moment, I tried to imagine what my response would have been like.

“Wait, am I standing next to a bed, wearing nothing but boots and a chained necklace?” I raised my tiny fist and threatened the heavens, “This is not what I envisioned when I dreamed about this in the past. I better not turn into a female when I grow older or I am going to be…”

THE FOLLOWING FEW MINUTES OF UNRESTRAINED WEEPING, WAILING, WHINING, AND THREATS WERE AGAIN REDACTED DUE TO THE SYSTEM’S PITY FOR THE REINCARNATED KOBOLD. IT IS A TOTAL COINCIDENCE THAT THE PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES ARE EERILY SIMILAR TO A RECURRING DREAM THE KOBOLD HAD IN THEIR PREVIOUS LIFE, ALTHOUGH WITH THE ROLES REVERSED AND WITH A DIFFERENT SPECIES.

After I managed to calm down, I made a mental note to ask for some clothing, male clothing. “Visualize, believe, and achieve,” I muttered angrily to myself. Sighing, I took a deep breath to center myself before starting the process of attuning the necklace.

“Oh my god! Not another kobold,” a woman’s voice wailed in my mind. “When will you small-minded little vermin learn? I’m not an ‘…ohh, shiny!’ or ‘my precious.’ I swear, even if you aren’t stupid, I’m sure that you’re ignorant. I bet you’re apathetic about learning about anything other than how to find shiny pebbles in the dirt or how to build a better mousetrap. Do you even know the difference between ignorance and apathy?”

“I don't know and I don't care,” I snapped back, mentally responding to the voice. “Now drop the attitude before I decide to destroy you like I did the last magic item I encountered with a spirit inside it.” I had to deal with one shrewish woman in my last life. I wasn’t about to deal with another one in this life.

A short silence was interrupted as Hyggiandi managed to overcome her disbelief that an uppity kobold had somehow managed to tell her the difference between the two words, whether it was intentional or not, “You don’t know what you are talking about. Do you not realize how rare magic items inhabited by a spirit are?”

By the time she had reached this point, her words had lost their anger and had been replaced by curiosity, “Maybe you’re too young to realize. You seem pretty small. How old are you anyway?”

I sat in silence for a moment when I realized everything that had already happened in such a short amount of time, “I hatched a couple of days ago,” I said.

Another silence set in, followed by a confused, “Uh,” which was followed by more silence. “You seem quite intelligent for such a kobold, much less such a young kobold,” she finally admitted reluctantly. “Maybe we can work together after all.”

“Thank you,” I said back. “As you know, I am quite new to the world and have a lot of questions. Hopefully you can help me learn everything I need to know.”

“Excellent attitude,” Hyggiandi said approvingly. “First, however, you need to pass my test. Let’s see how you do.” I could hear the ill-concealed glee in her voice as she brought up the subject of testing.

Really? Of course, I made sure she didn’t hear that part of what I was thinking about. In my previous life, I was also a teacher and I hated the number of tests that I had to give. Yeah, yeah, I know, tests are important. But come on, when I have to start taking tests when I am only a few days old was annoying. However, I said none of these things. I’d learned long ago that while it was okay having some thoughts, sharing those same thoughts wasn’t always the smartest idea.

Instead, I said, “That sounds wonderful. Let’s begin.” Of course, I wasn’t prepared for what came next. It was as if a computer had decided to dump every bit of its information into my head at the same time. Information about animal handling, arcana, history, insight, investigation, medicine, nature, perception, and survival poured into my mind in a flood of experiences. My last thought before darkness overwhelmed me was about how much I hated information dumps.