Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

"Redemption must go both ways,

Forgive to be forgiven,

Allow others to repent."

Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Redemption

I don't know if future me is more mature than me, or if she's just subjectively older and more experienced, but I'm really hoping she doesn't mind if I slip a double entendre or three into this Holy Book of ours. Yes, that one is absolutely deliberate. Have you met me? And yeah, I'm not at all copacetic about it, but 'our' Holy Book.

Seriously. I pulled the sun backward through the sky yesterday. Double sunset for whatever country Loki's cave sits under.

The North, daughter. Which is a 'country' only in the sense of being 'the North lands'. Your Alliance is the closest to an actual Mortal 'country' in all of Europa and Atlantis.

Good to know! Thanks, Dad! I don't know exactly how I could tell, other than the whole mental connection mojo, but he seemed a little down, so I followed that up with, my Dad best dad!

If his reply came back a little bittersweet, at least it had the sweet to soften the bitter. I know.

Anyhow, I can't exactly sit here saying shit like 'I'm not a Goddess' when I can literally slide the sun back and forth in the sky. Okay, I guess there's some kind of slim possibility that I just fooled myself. And Saffron. And Mom and Dad. And Marie and Siobhan. Not to mention apparently fooling Karen and her dress, which I've found out is a creation of The Weyland Smith. Who is my adopted son. Conrad. Okay, yeah, too much, weirdness overload, I'm rolling it back to 'our' Holy Book for now.

Yes, there is a maximum amount of weirdness I can tolerate all at once. Okay, normally I can just go with the flow and let it wash over me and, y'know, ignore that shit. But I'm tryna get my shit together here, because there are people I care about counting on me, and holy shit that is still such a fuckin' weird sensation to me. Like, caring about people is a little weird, but not totally alien. I cared about my mom. I cared about my sister, even if she was kind of a bitch. Okay, since I'm tryna be mature here, I was absolutely just as much of a whiny little bitch as she was a bossy big one. But I still cared about her, and in retrospect I can see she cared about me. But I never really showed them that. Yeah, I gave my mom hugs and sat with her, but that was at least as much for me as it was for her. Yeah, I spent time with her, but I'm not sure it really counted as 'quality time'. I don't think I ever showed my sister that I cared about her. Which I guess I did, since I kinda feel guilty about that now.

But here? Now? I don't know whether it was Saffron, Marie, Siobhan, or the kids, or some bizarre alchemy of all of them together, but I absolutely care about them all, and I don't hesitate to show it. Hell, it feels wrong not to show it. Like when they told me I had kids I thought it would wind up being weird, like there would be little aliens living in my house with me that I had no connection to, but...

Look, I think it says something important that my biggest realization over the past forty eight wasn't that I am, apparently, a Goddess. Sun Goddess, Lovecraftian Tentacled Horror Goddess, Trickster Goddess making people think she's a Sun Goddess and Tentacled Horror; whatever kind of Goddess I am, I am one, but that pales in importance to the fact that when I heard Isnomi scream 'mama'? I knew I was home. Not, like, the Lancaster House suite, although that qualified, but anyplace with my partners and my kids? That was fuckin' home.

Home. Such a weird fuckin' feeling. Like, 'I'm safe here' combined with 'I love the people here' and 'the people here love me', which is weird as fuck, with a kind of almost imperceptible tension from 'if anyone ever tries to make any one of the people who are Home to me not safe, I will fucking erase them from history'. Which... fuck, 'Lovecraftian Horror', so that might well be within the bounds of what I can do. As if that isn't fuckin' weird enough? My arms just kinda stretched out of their own accord, catching first Isnomi, making a menace of herself by taking a flying squirrel leap straight at my face, then Maze, who squeezed her eyes shut as she glomped me, like she couldn't be that open about shit with her eyes open, but wasn't about to not glomp me.

The rest of our little horde of kids circulated through the four of us. Even Siobhan got touched and hugged, and eventually wound up pulling herself up into a tailor seat so Lindsey could sit in her lap. Alex might have been a little bitchy with the way she whomped her butt down in Saffron's lap like she owned it, but fuck it, if anybody can keep a headstrong kid in line it's Saffron, the source of more Boss Bitch energy than anyone else I've ever seen. Daya and David both wound up in Marie's lap, Daya snuggled in between the two of them until she almost disappeared, while David just leaned against her, closed her eyes, and sighed her contentment.

After that, the other women who'd been staying in the suite with us kinda cycled through welcoming us home. It wasn't until Marie's sisters all wandered through, nodding to her as they passed, that my brain caught a clue. I thought at Saffron, it's like they think we're holding court or something.

She smiled slyly up at me. You mean you're not?

Me? You're the Imperator!

And you are the Champion and Patron Goddess of the Alliance, love.

I sat there staring at her, kinda glad the only people left to come greet us were Maenads, who really paid more attention to Marie than me. I have no idea how to feel about that. Like, I don't want them worshipping... fuck.

Indeed. Although I'm sure everyone would prefer we get Karen to sit before your Revel.

I stared some more. Wait. You're tryna tell me I'm also a fuck Goddess?

There is a reason you took Aphrodite's Temple, love.

I tried to keep my shoulders from slumping. I have no idea how to handle this.

She leaned into me, and totally proved my point about Alex when the heavier girl shifted to make sure she didn't disturb Saffron, me, or the two in my lap. Let them touch you, speak with you, reassure themselves that you are here. That's what this type of court is for, love. So that those you protect can see that you are, and will be, here for them.

I just sat there for a while as everybody except our little ones went back to what they'd been doing. Isnomi and Alex chattered about the game they'd been playing earlier, some kind of variation on tag, I think. Every now and then Maze shut down an incipient argument with word or two. Neither of the others argued with her version of the facts. Guess she's the arbiter in their little social circle. Shit, I've got enough kids to have a whole social circle. Fuck, I've got enough partners to have a social circle. A small one anyway.

Right about then Saffron announced dinner time, and we all trundled down to the dining room. Apparently Marie is absolutely fine being in more than one place at a time and letting everybody else know it, because the one of her who walked down with us sat down with the kids to keep them vaguely civilized, while another one led the procession of servers out from the kitchens. I noticed right about then that the folks staying with us didn't get served the way we, meaning Saffron, Siobhan, the Lancasters and I did so much as getting trays of food delivered kind of like the kids. That sorta made me feel some kinda way, but as best I could tell they weren't getting different food, just not quite so much individual table service.

Baby steps.

I smiled at Saffron to let her know I absolutely was not gonna throw down with our hosts over something that petty. Especially when the five of us getting individual service were, in fact, being served by Marie and a dude who looked like he could crack coconuts from sheer rectal pressure. I didn't think butlers did that kind of thing, especially with all the maids in attendance, but fuck it, still not gonna rock the boat in this case.

Slept through the night, then spent the next day teaching the kids how to play checkers. One of the end tables had the right eight by eight grid, and I scrounged up some buttons to work as markers. Daya and David both seemed to enjoy it, but Alex and Lindsey both couldn't sit still long enough. Isnomi... couldn't either, but she didn't let that stop her.

Then, not long before dinner, Maze sat down across from me. Then proceeded to clean my clock. Like, wiped the fuckin' floor with me. Then she pulled open the drawer with the actual checkers in it. Apparently the reason Alex and Lindsey hadn't stuck around was they gave up trying to beat my sneaky little pony girl a couple weeks after they all arrived. Daya and David actually hadn't learned to play before, too shy.

Screw it. I laughed it off, because at the end of the day it really was kinda hilarious to have Maze beat me at checkers. Also made me feel good about not being the kind of parent who got bent out of shape when their kid beat them at something.

When we gathered up in the bathroom at the end of the night, after sending the kids into the other room to bed down, I looked at Saffron and said, "Now?"

She shook her head. "In the morning."

So I managed to get two solid nights sleep into me before having to deal with the crazy bullshit that melted my head off.

We got Maze set up reading to the quieter kids, the moms, and the Maenads, then Saffron stepped the four of us to the room with the bed. "Uh... not what I had in mind?"

She smiled and hugged me. "The room is soundproof, has no windows, and is more than a little difficult to find and hide in. It's also easier to get into and out of than your cabin on the Black Dragon."

I nodded. "Fair points. So. What do we know?"

"First, our son has reached the limits of his knowledge, but he has some results."

"So we know who put this whammy on me?"

She shook her head. "No. Not precisely anyhow. What we know is that the curse is in fact a Fae Shaping, and it was placed by a Fae of House Crow."

"Okay, so... do we know where House Crow is?"

She nodded. "The current head of House Crow is the present ruler of Rich Mans' Port."

I sighed. "Shit. Are... are we at war again?"

She shook her head. "Conrad knows Lady Crow's signature. Unless she has gone to the trouble to disguise her signature so well that our son cannot pierce that veil."

"Yeah, why don't I think that's not really likely?"

"Because it's not."

I shrugged. "So, how do we find out more?"

"We go pay a visit to Mayor McCann, who can hopefully tell us if any members of the House are in Calverton now."

"All four of us?"

Saffron shrugged and looked at Siobhan. "You're welcome to join us, but...?"

Siobhan sighed. "I have work to attend to."

After giving her an extended physical farewell, we let her get back to her work, at which point Marie and I took Saffron's hands. The next moment we stood in front of a big assed white rock. Looking at it for half a second I realized it was a hunk of marble with cracks through it, dug into the ground like it had landed where it lay at speed. I stared, transfixed, as I spotted a ragged piece of blackened cloth sticking out from the edges. I missed most of the conversation between Saffron and a big beefy dude as I stared at the rock and that cloth.

I finally looked up and around at the rest of the room. Really weird; the rock, a table next to it, and a simple camp chair next to the table sat on bare earth. The rest of the room had a nice stone floor, with a bunch of chairs and little writing desks in a curve around the room, all focused on the rock and table and chair.

Yeah, it hit me kinda hard. No idea why. Eventually Saffron walked back to where Marie and I stood and waved us over closer. "According to Mayor McCann, there were no official diplomats in the City. The House of Crow does have a townhouse in Calverton though. While he's not certain of the exact address, or if the house itself remains intact, Marylin Calvert would have known the location of the house."

"Okay. Marylin Calvert. Do we know where she is?"

Saffron shrugged. "I believe she was overseeing the construction of a new Temple to Loki in Calverton." Then she sighed. "I'm afraid I'm needed here for the day, however." She turned to Marie. "Can you escort her?"

"So... I'm supposed to go find Marylin Calvert at the Temple of Loki in Calverton, and find out where the House of the Crow in Calverton is?" She nodded. "Okay then." I took a deep breath, let it out. "I can do this." I grinned at her. "Have a nice day... Kitten!" I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the lips, grabbed Marie by the hand, and stepped to the deck of the Black Dragon.

Are you certain?

Yeah, I got this!

It's good to hear you confident, love. Let me know if you need anything.

Will do!

Pulling Marie along behind me, I raced for the bridge, calling out, "Orla! Orla, you around?"

She stepped out of the bridge just as we got there. "Yes, Champion?"

"I need to get to the new Temple of Loki to find Marylin Calvert. Do you know where... it... is?"

The moment I mentioned Marylin Calvert, Orla's face went blank. "Did... did you say Marylin Calvert?" Her arms twitched, like she wanted to grab at me.

"Yeah. Why, do you know her?"

"Do I," she spluttered. "Of course I know my own little sister."

"Little sister? Cool! Do you know where the Temple of Loki is?"

As she shook her head, Loki's voice sounded in my head. She is my High Priestess to the City of Calverton. And your subordinate.

Huh? Why?

He sighed. Because you are my Priestess High, set above all others. A moment later, Loki showed up in his little normal blonde guy form. "Would you like an escort to my new Temple here?"

I took Orla's unresisting hand, then said, "sure!"

Loki lay his hand on my shoulder and said, "if you don't mind," everything felt a lot breezy as my uniform got replaced by a single swatch of silk that covered one leg and my tits and not much else. Before I could even 'what the fuck', we stood in a big, open building obviously under construction.

Before I could say anything, Orla bolted away from me to charge a younger woman dressed in a single swatch of scarlet silk not unlike my own. Orla screamed out, "MARY!" The big woman lifted her up and spun her around; the two of them had a tearful, joyous reunion right there in the middle of the construction site.

While they did, Loki leaned over to me and said, "I think you can take it from here, daughter. But remember this. This, too, is part of your legacy. One sister who was lost to the Undead, the other to the Plague, and you Cured both of them. Remember that when your black moods take you."

I pulled him into a hug. "Thanks, Dad. You're the best."

No idea why he broke down a little bit right then, but we stood there hugging it out while I waited for Orla and Marylin. "I know," he muttered, then disappeared.

Took like half an hour for Marylin and Orla to finish up their reunion enough to get back to me. When they did, they both came over to me. "What did you need, High Priestess?" Marylin asked.

"Can you show me the way to the House of the Crow?"

The two of them led me there, through the far less devastated City I remembered waking up in...

Right to the spot I'd woken up.