Demonic Magician

43 - Wooden Response



Dungeons were an oddity in the System. While most of the world had degrees of procedural randomness to mimic a normal world, Dungeons were a construct more akin to a puzzle. Something for me to try to solve. In the times I had the time and inclination to repeat one, it became obvious that they were set pieces. Same Monsters and same traps. Combat was more fluid and affected success more than anything else once you knew the rooms. This never helped the first attempt, of course, which was the crux of why they were so deadly.

[Dungeon: Fallen Grove]

[Open - Expected Difficulty: Medium]

I pulled a face. “Nice of the System to forewarn us.” I looked at the portal entrance. A swirling vortex of pale green and brown enshrined in the thick vines covering the area. “Medium difficulty.”

“I wouldn’t trust that.” Ren glared at the shimmering doorway. “Something tells me that the System has a skewed view on what is difficult.”

Another reasonable take. When an arrow to the neck could end our adventuring careers early, any trap worth its weight should be taken as being above ‘medium difficulty’. “Probably just means the Monster levels.” I scrunched my tired eyes up to try to bring some life into them. Maybe the dungeon would have lodgings with soft beds—even a little cafe and gift shop to make the whole process pleasant and pedestrian. Now I really was losing my sanity.

“I’m ready.” Wolf pushed up against me, eager to get out of the rain.

“Lead on, trickster.”

With a sigh, I straightened out my jacket and walked toward the portal. Half expecting to be tossed into a spiked pit immediately, I was almost disappointed that after a brief moment of wavy vertigo I stepped into an empty chamber.

Constructed of rough gray stone, it looked long abandoned. Vines and spent leaves covered most of the walls and some parts of the floor. Lanterns sat in small alcoves cut into the walls sporadically, spreading a light glow across the room toward the single exit - an open doorway to a corridor that went to the left immediately.

I stepped to the side as Ren and then the bear walked through behind me.

“Initial impressions?” My eyebrows raised, and I crossed my arms.

“I’m glad the hallways look wide enough for Wolf.” She gave him a pat on his flank. “How did you want to approach this?”

Not being able to take our big pal through with us would have been detrimental to our success. While I didn’t want to just push him forward to absorb all the danger, he at least needed to be present to assist when things got dicey.

I spun on my heels, the spear now in my hand when I came back to face them. “We’ll have to do this old-school. I’ll go first and we’ll take it slowly.” I tapped the blunt end on the stone floor for added effect.

Ren didn’t respond at first, as if processing something, before she blinked and an eyebrow raised. “Old-school?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I had a… friend?” Now the word seemed awkward, but at the time it was true, to a degree. “Back at school, he was into the whole roleplaying thing and was relentless with filling my head with information. First, you need a large pole.”

“Can we start over?” She shook her head. “I think I lost you about three times there.”

“It was the ‘friend’ bit, right?” I grinned and held the spear up. “To poke around the floor for traps, I guess.”

Ren rolled her eyes. “This room doesn’t look like it needs assailing. Shall we take a minute to prepare?”

I narrowed my eyes. “If you make me another coffee, I would be greatly indebted to you.”

“How indebted?” She put her hands on her hips. Wolf shuffled uncomfortably.

My tongue rolled across my teeth. I really needed that coffee, and there was almost a tangible feeling of my inner self starting to unravel. I’d rather not see what lurked within the core. “Name your price.”

“Alright, you'll owe me a favor.”

Before I had the chance to process or agree, she already had the grill and kettle out. I shrugged at the apprehensive bear. How bad could owing her a favor be? “Hungry, Wolf?” I withdrew some steak and lobbed it to him as he nodded, snapping it out of the air. We’d need to gather some more supplies at some point. Some of my meat reserves were getting low.

Not a sentence I expected my brain to ever have to think.

“Here.” Ren passed me the steaming mug. “Hope it’ll be worth it.”

“I’d walk into the maw of a dragon for a strong brew on a bad day.” I lifted it up to take in the smell. Bliss.

“Noted.” She went into her Inventory to get her own food out.

It was perhaps the most mundane start to a dungeon possible, but with the addition of a pair of chairs, we had ourselves a small picnic. There was a gloomy dampness to the chamber, but after walking all morning it was heavenly just to rest and recuperate for a handful of minutes. In a way, I felt more safe in here between these unknown walls. If I closed my eyes, it almost reminded me of some backstage areas. The feeling grounded me, just as the caffeine soaked back into my bones.

“I feel like I could destroy giants.” I grinned as I stretched out, our late breakfast now all packed away.

“You never want an ego big enough that you’d die falling from it.” Ren tapped at one of her side pouches. “Although I’m sure you could pull it off doing some of your usual bullshit.”

I gave her a bow. “Your faith in me is almost as uplifting as the coffee was.” Perhaps I needed to tone it down a bit. While the warm liquid had filled in the cracks of my psyche to give it the appearance of an unblemished surface, if anything, it was just adding fuel to the fire that had been growing from embers since I arrived in this world.

Wolf stretched out and was ready, so with spear in hand, I walked toward the exit of the first chamber. I paused at the threshold and observed the frame. More the fool me to make it one step and get eviscerated because the Dungeon constructor was especially devious.

Nothing looked untoward, so I stepped forth. Immediately I was completely whelmed. To the left, a short staircase that led to a closed stone door. Although there was a lantern by me, and one down by the door, the stairs themselves were partially obscured by the gloom.

Without needing to say anything, Ren went and brought one of the lanterns from the chamber. I placed the spear tip through the curved handle to extend it over the darkened area. Our caution was soon rewarded, as amongst the littering of leaves and aged vegetation clawing at the edges of the staircase, there was a step that looked off.

“Pressure plate, I think.” Ren pointed it out, her eyes better than mine.

I crouched down and surveyed the surroundings. “The ceiling looks different to the rest, like it’s intentionally obscured. I imagine there’s something that swings down from there.”

“There’s also a tripwire near the door.” Ren crouched down beside me. “Can’t see what it does from here.”

“Devious.” I smiled at her. How her eyes remained so bright and energized in this… I shook the thoughts mentally. “Right.” I stood back to my feet. “Watch me mess this up and turn into bloodied mist.”

Neither of them tried to stop me, or said any last words of encouragement... that it was nice to have known me. My feet took me cautiously down each step, my eyes switching between the pressure plate that definitely needed avoiding, and the ceiling full of death. I made it to the bottom unhindered and shot a thumb up to the others. “Let me check the wire first.”

The last thing I’d need is the bear stumbling down after us, crushing our bodies into the door and setting both traps off. They nodded their agreements, so I turned and kneeled down by it. A tense cord ran from one wall to the other, around ankle level, about a foot and a half from the door. With my finger, I traced the path into the wall, trying to imagine where it could lead. There was part of my understanding of magic that helped fill in some of the gaps with rough assumptions.

A purple card spun into my hand, and I cut through the cord. I could hear the two up the stairs physically tense up, whereas I didn’t move a muscle. Frozen, I waited for the hint of a sound or slight movement. Nothing. “Interesting,” I muttered, and gestured for them to descend. Some kind of door lock or alarm, to alert the inhabitants of our arrival or keep us out. Such a simple thing that would set a Party on the back foot through the whole encounter. Nice of the two traps I'd come across to be tension related, and easily solved by cutting.

I placed my hand softly on the door as the other two carefully made it down to shuffle in behind me. Enough room for Wolf but he couldn’t exactly move to the front. If there were traps, it would better for me to continue leading, anyway. My eyebrow raised as I turned to them, my words caught in my mouth as Ren put her hand against my upper arm.

“Are you alright, Max?”

My brain span around briefly. Odd time to have some emotional exposition, and physically the traps hadn’t maimed me. “I believe so, why?”

“There’s… it’s probably nothing. Just a bad feeling.” Her hand withdrew, leaving me somewhat perplexed. There was concern in her glare.

I blinked, trying mentally to parse that situation. “I’m expecting combat beyond the door. After I enter, I'll swing to the right to make space for Wolf.”

The bear nodded, and so did the elf after a brief moment of consideration. I wasn't sure how troubled I should be that she worried for me, but didn't know why. I hated premonitions almost as much as I hated having my head split open. Which was a lot.

Fingers tucked into the handle indentation, I opened it to the side as quickly as my strength would allow. The stone doorway slid into the wall on one side with a deep grinding noise.

I stepped into the square chamber, to the tune of six pairs of eyes turning to me in surprise. Four figures sitting at a table on the top left, playing… cards. Two more standing to my direct right in the corner, discussing something over a held book.

[New Monster: Treant <6>]

While the system filled in the specifics, the tree-like Monsters were something else to behold. Seemingly made of wooden trunks and thick roots themselves, their shoulder and heads covered in dense moss-like foliage. Their humanoid faces looked sinister as their deep-set eyes were cold yellow light amongst shadowed recesses. They also didn’t appear to appreciate my unwelcome entrance. Needed more fanfare, surely.

Two cards already left my hand toward the pair on the right as I strode towards them. The purple card embedding and severing some of the first treant’s thick arm, where the Hellhound card struck the book, my canine friend leapt out of a magic circle to cling to the opponent. The second Monster lurched to swipe out at me.

Ren’s entangling shot blasted through the room and pinned the table-bound four as they tried to rise against us, right before the large form of Wolf burst through the doorway after the elf and charged the short distance toward them.

blocked the slashing tips of the vegetative fingers, and as the Monster rose back to follow-up, I withdrew the lit torch into my left hand. The treant shirked away from the sudden appearance of fire and allowed me to press the advantage as my right hand now swung in, holding my dagger. Embedded straight into the pit of their left eye, and they screeched. Arrow struck the side of their head as they stepped back. They went for one last-ditch attempt to grab at me and I moved away, a sheet of cloth suddenly obscuring their vision. Empowered single card straight into their chest, destroying what I assumed was their heart.

The cloth fluttered to the floor, revealing my showman's bow as the light faded from their eyes. Carnage was being wrought in my peripheral as Wolf disassembled treant and furniture alike in a fury of heavy paws. Splinters and shards of wood clattered and slid across the stone floor as he tore through everything. My Hellhound had caused some damage to the one remaining by me, but wasn’t really built for breaking through their tough bark-like skin.

Weapons gone, I flipped my hat to the floor, turning as I drew one crossbow to fire the loaded bolt into the side of the treant’s head. I dropped it to my hat as I drew the second with a turn to repeat the process. As they hit my upturned top hat, they vanished as if they had fallen inside. The treant stumbled away with two bolts lodged in its head, the lights in their eyes dimming. My boot stomped to the floor, and the spear ejected out of my hat into my grip. With a short flourish, I jammed it through the wooden neck with a fatal crack.

I turned, spinning the spear further to see if my assistance was required. Wolf had finished off the other four already, and now was just chewing and cracking their remaining pieces. Perhaps it was good for his dental health. With the tip of the spear, I flipped my hat back up off of the floor and onto my head. Shot Ren a grin. “I know. You can say it.” I was insufferable.

She sighed. “Frankly, it’s stunning both that you do that intuitively, and that it actually works most of the time.”

Stunning. That was a new one. I hadn’t even paid any attention to the Dazzle icons this time around, but I was sure she wouldn’t have had one. Things had just seemed to flow, like my exhausted brain allowed things to happen on autopilot. Smoothing over the gaps where I might usually overthink.

Why my autopilot defaulted to near-slapstick violence was something I would think about later.

I kneeled down and pulled a face as I went to loot the monsters. Not only did they not drop gold, but a lot of their loot was... assorted tree parts? Not even planks, just vines or bark. My brow furrowed harder at them, as if that would reveal some secret items they were holding back from me.

"You seem unimpressed, Max." Ren tilted her head as she watched me rifle through the bodies a second time.

With a shrug, I stood. "I was hoping for more of a show..." A wry grin formed at the side of my mouth. "But their performance was rather... wooden."


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