Demonic Magician

The nicest thing about wearing a crown was the sense of self-importance it gave me. That, and the lust for greater power… although, in part, I had held both these things already throughout most of my journey. Now it was just more visceral and overt.

Even currently, as the air ruffled through my hair, I couldn’t shake the manic grin across my face. We were losing ourselves to sin, and needed a way out before we became nothing more than those we despised and killed.

Still, until then, I’d enjoy it.

Ceiling burst downward as I cratered through it, wooden shards and pale dust clattering to the large room below.

Dozens of pairs of eyes looked up to me in shock as I used a withdrawn sheet to hook on to a beam so as to not break my legs - as amusing as that would be. I swung and dropped down to the wooden floor that was long soaked through with demonic ale and discarded food.

A banquet hall. Going through the full motions. Guest of honor at the head of the table wasn’t me - but I was about to clear a few chairs for my Party to enjoy proceedings.

“Number ten!” I growled, standing up tall and pointing a finger at the larger demon halfway eating what looked like a whole demonic lamb. “Fuckin’ die!” A card bloomed into my hand. Not the best one-liner, but I’d certainly said worse. Luckily, two weeks down here in hell had all but erased any shame or embarrassment Ren and I had previously held.

And speak of the lovely lady.

Enter stage right - as a white dove vanished to be replaced by the elf on the other side of the room. A radiant bullet shredded through a handful of smaller demons, who were unsure what was going on.

“Kill them!” the tenth in line to the throne yelled, tossing his snack onto the long table.

My card left my hand and spiraled through the air - not aiming for the head demon, but instead into the middle of the room. It cut the chain holding up the ramshackle candelabra. It fell, and the candles bounced over spilled alcohol, lighting up the banquet table with unusual green flames.

I spun in place as the nearest but not dearest group of demons tried to stumble from their chairs and draw weapons. Into my hands another cloth - this one a deep black. Held it out to the side, obscuring part of the wall. Swooshed it away just as the wooden planks burst inwards - Wolf powering in to the gathering and slashing through three of the demons immediately.

Roger and the Hellhounds followed in behind him like a broken dam. A tide of gnashing jaws and white fur to cut a bloody swathe through the unprepared merry-makers. I was already atop the table now, striding toward my target while twin cards zipped around to cut down those around me.

“Upstart rat-droppings, you think you can stand against me?” The demon stood and held out a hand toward me. A wave of energy washed over us.

A jungle.

“If we’re going to go through this another ten times…” Ren grumbled, not willing to finish the threat.

“You could have shot him first.”

She scowled at me. “I thought this was your ego thing. Didn’t want you to hold it against me.”

“My dear, you could tear my still-beating heart from my chest, and I wouldn’t hold it against you.”

“Aw.” Her grump faded away. “I’d hold it against me, though. Cradle that cute little heart.”

I smiled, before catching the glare of the bear from my left. He had gotten taller… oh, no. “Ren, we are sinking.”

We both looked down to see our ankles enveloped by the thick mud around us. I had been too busy looking at those blue eyes to really take in the Domain itself. Somewhat lazy of me, in truth. The demon might be waiting to strike right now… although it didn’t seem likely. I had a knack for this kind of thing.

Left leg sunk a couple more inches into the mud as I pulled my right out. Dropped a plank of wood and stood on it - repeating the same action to remove my left from the filth. Surface area just about held me up. I looked at the elf, who had her arms crossed and was accepting her fate.

“Waiting for me to be your knight in shining armor?” I asked, eyebrow raised.

“No. Quicksand is a myth. It won’t be deep enough to keep drawing me down.”

I watched as she slowly sunk another inch into the mud, and her eye twitched. With a quick slurping noise, she vanished to appear over at the side, away from the dangerous pit. The white dove was immediately enveloped by the muck. Took me a couple of seconds longer, but by moving the planks ahead of me, I was able to escape. Wolf just… wasn’t sinking.

“Dare I ask, brother?” I tilted my head as he wandered out.

“One of my skills prevents restraints, slows, disabling attacks, and difficult terrain.” He looked up at me and shrugged. “I get bullshit too, you know.”

That was certainly fair - I couldn’t hog all the special abilities - although Ren was getting her fair share these days. I held my hand out to rotate a few different scrolls through my holster, before my eyes went through the surroundings.

Strangely, despite what little real world experience I had with jungles, I had expected more… humidity. And life. There were tall tree and vines, plants with large waxy leaves, and a constant mulch of composting vegetation wherever I looked… but no bugs or animals.

No demon either, which was somewhat dull.

“You know, out of everything… I miss being able to teleport the most,” I complained.

“Yeah?” Ren had her rifle out now and was scanning behind us. “Even more than the normal Othea?”

“Part of me is sad we’ll return. Our time here in hell has been something of a fever dream, despite the nightmare situation.”

She nodded. “We’ve certainly had lots of ups and downs… and more ups and downs.”

Wolf grunted and turned his nose to the air. Anything to avoid our loose innuendos. “Hmm.” He rotated a little further, sniff a couple more times. “This place is unusual.”

“No life?”

He looked back at me with his amber eyes and nodded. “Not just that, brother. Even for a Domain it has a secondary… ick to it.”

Ren lowered her rifle. “An illusion within an illusion?”

I frowned. That didn't seem right. Went to rub my aching head and saw that my hand was already bloody. Was it blood? I held it out to show them. “Can you both see this?”

The elf exchanged a glance with the bear. “Have you been overdoing your magic already, trickster?”

Hmm, they could see it - so it was less likely to be an illusion. I rubbed at my head anyway, getting streaks of scarlet across my forehead. It ran down my face in cool rivulets… which was odd. Blood was normally warm.

“Health check,” I ordered them.

As I twisted my body about to check I wasn’t falling apart, they did the same.

“All clear,” Ren announced.

“I cannot see anything wrong with me,” the bear confirmed.

“Always me, isn’t it?” I shook my head and held my hand out. It continued to drip, as if something was forcing the blood out through pressure.

Ren wrinkled up her nose and looked closer at it. “Perhaps we’ll just slowly bleed to death one by one and that’s the Domain. Dibs on being last.”

She gave me a shrug and moved away, no apparent obvious cause for my bloodletting. My status screens didn’t give any information, and my health bar was still moderately full considering our quick banquet bout.

So why didn’t I feel happy just ignoring it?

Moved my hand up to my face and sniffed it. Not… unlike my unusual blood, as far as I could tell.

“Need me to taste it?” Ren offered.

I shook my head. “Too dangerous in case it's something bad.” The fact that she had put such an act on the table that neither of us seemed bothered by was perhaps concerning in the long run, but… she did know what it tasted like. Mostly by accident.

“We’ll just continue,” I eventually decided. “It’s not something that has a clear answer to just yet and I’d rather find the demon to put a hole in him as soon as possible.”

They nodded, and we set off… whichever direction felt most right to me. We’ll call it east. Left hand came up as we walked, and that one seemed fine.

“You know why that is?” Ren nudged the air beside me as she fell into step. “That’s your sinning hand.”

I pulled a face. “How would they know what I get up to with my hands?” I had committed plenty of atrocities with both, so it seemed rather arbitrary. “So why are your hands fine, then?”

“What, you dare, Max Dickbag? I am clearly an innocent soul.”

“Bullshit.” I held up my dripping right hand. “You, of all people, know why they call it a dominant hand.”

She bit her lip - and then we both walked into the stationary bear as he stopped to glare at us.

“If we must fall into horrors beyond my understanding and almost perish on the regular, I’d rather our last moments together aren’t your dribbling howls, like mewing animals in heat.”

Perhaps he had a point. We were just here to assassinate a demon prince, but Ren and I had gotten so detached from reality we were casual and loose with our approach to fighting. Just enjoying the change of scenery, if I were to be honest.

“I apologize, Wolf. We’ll try to keep it together so you’re not such a third wheel.” I placed my hand on his shoulder to assert the authenticity of my statement.

“Yes, well- ow.” He shuffled away from me and scowled at where my hand had been.

“You… okay?” I furrowed my brow and stepped away, allowing Ren to move in and have a look.

The elf tilted her head, moving in closer to him, before away. “Oh dear. Where you touched Wolf, he now has a wound that is running with blood.” She turned to me and eyed up my hand. “Glad you didn’t let me lick it.”

“If I had a gold coin for every…” I let the sentence fade away as I pointed a finger out and deliberately moved it around to touch the back of my left hand.

“Max.” Ren shot me a scowl.

Sure enough, the small dot where I had prodded now looked like I had taken some nasty damage, and a trickle of blood ran down to my wrist.

I flared out my nostril and looked up at the elf. “C’mon, Ren. You don’t want in this sinking ship as well?”

“I swear if you dare touch me with your cursed hand, you will not like where I grab in retaliation.”

It made some sense now why my head was still dripping with blood even long after I had rubbed it. My gaze swept around the area, trying to see if there was an overt cause or solution to our problem. No, not really.

“Got some terrible news, Ren.” I looked back at her and smiled, streams of crimson marring my face.

“What is it?” She grimaced.

“I have a really itchy nose.”