Deicide: To Kill The Gods

“Wake up, Xeno.”

To fall eternally in a void of nothingness, or to sleep eternally in death.

Which would be the better way to die, I thought, body tumbling through the… air? I could not recall how, or even why, I had ended up there. Just that I was.. Falling– for what seemed like an age.

Darkness blanketed my surroundings, suffocating me like a snake coiling around my throat, immediately stifling any noise I could have made. Even if I had screamed, it would have come out a cry more feeble than a dying elder, voice hoarse from disuse, and it dawned upon me. I was alone.

My body tore through the skyline like a single arrow shot from the hands of a master archer, aimed towards the sunset. It did indeed feel like I was dying. Truthfully, I half-expected a chorus of angels to appear singing praises and hymns for me. Yet I could not fathom how I had died.

A throbbing pain had settled into the centre of my chest, like an old wound had sprung to life due to my moving about mid-fall. A hand pressed against my bare chest, feeling the sore area. It felt slightly damp, sticking to my fingers– far too thick to be water.

Blood?

But who had stabbed me– and how had I survived? My arms flailed wildly as panic set in as I continued sailing through the endless darkness, until they were immediately slammed to my sides, as though some kind of invisible straightjacket was keeping them down. My legs did the same, and I continued to fall at quite amazing speeds. If I wasn’t so scared, perhaps I’d be quite happy breaking a world record.

“Quit your moving, boy. It is becoming rather annoying.” A… voice? I wasn’t alone? Now that I thought about it, I had heard this voice before. All-encompassing. I wasn’t listening to it. I was feeling it, living it. It was everywhere, yet nowhere at the same time– absolutely omnipotent. Yet it carried a feeling of warmth like no other, a mother to her son.

My hand reached out into the darkness, reaching for the source of the voice, however it was met with… nothing but the emptiness of the void. My mouth opened, but nothing came out. I felt it necessary to bow– if I could, that was. It was as though I was in the presence of a god. A heavy weight bore down upon my shoulders, as though someone was stepping on my ribcage, silencing any noise I could have wanted to make, and forcing the breath from my lungs.

“You are… what are you?” I could not speak properly. My voice rang out hoarsely, not as I wished it too. Far deeper than I was used to. Pain erupted in my arms, and I allowed a gasp as the agony crashed through my body in waves. They were… cracking? I had not noticed it, but black cracks had emanated from the hole in my core, stretching across my body, a golden light visible through the gash.

“We do not have time for that, child. You are dying, as you must be feeling.” Death. So that’s what this was.

“I’m scared, Miss.”

“I know, child. Do not call me ‘Miss’. ‘Isabella’ will do for now. I… wish to save you. I owe you that much for saving my life.”

“You… you can do that?”

“Do not underestimate the powers of a…”

“What did you say–” I couldn’t properly hear her, the pain blurring the sounds around me. Before I could finish my sentence, another wave of anguish crashed through as my arms slowly faded from existence, scattering golden dust through the empty abyss.

“Do not speak. You will exhaust your energy far more quickly.”

The air before me swirled, and I closed my eyes, covering my face with what was left of my still-shattering arm. A body formed before my eyes, from head to toe, in a rain of what looked to me like a star shower. A truly beautiful sight, if it were to be my last. Her body was slender, the epitome of perfection. Her skin, pale, yet beautiful like the moon’s reflection. Smooth, and strong, yet seemingly so fragile at the same time.

Her eyes, steel blue gems ever so gently slotted into the crown that was her face. Her ears were blessed with two, star-studded golden earrings, body covered by sleek, white hair. Her petite frame was covered by a long, pure white dress, reaching down to her knees as she floated over me, hands cupping my face. They were warm. She was oh-so warm. And I knew her, but I… didn’t.

By now, my body was just a torso. And I was fading in and out of consciousness every few seconds. Her voice snapped me out of my deathly state, for moments at best.

“There is no other way. I will have to find you a new body, and place my Aevum within you in case it is needed. Thus, I will become ‘we’. You will be me, and I will be you.”

I didn’t really know what she was talking about. Was she sacrificing herself for… me? This fairy-like person? She had mentioned me saving her before, but I did not know what that meant.. Perhaps that was a side effect of my body falling apart. It had to be. But I wanted to know who she was.

“You will not remember this encounter. But when you awaken… if it has worked– for I have not tried this before, but it will work, it has to– I will be with you.” And with that, she tore the broken golden orb from my body, and reached into her own chest, pulling out another orb. It looked like the universe itself, with lots and lots of iridescent colours, swirling and deviating from the path a thousand times a second. I gagged, and breathed what I felt would be my last as the light from my eyes faded. She then pushed her core into the hole in the centre of my chest. Then she hugged me, as we both fell to what surely would be certain death, like stones. The hug was warm. Nobody had ever hugged me like that before. A singular tear ran down my face, for a parent, a mother, I had met all too late. Truly, I wished… just one more time.

And there was light, and then there was nothing.

—

“Hey, you!”

A voice rang in my ears. Painful, it was. A large mix of colours entered my eyes at the exact same time, creating a throbbing in my brain as I attempted to gauge my surroundings. I couldn’t move? No, I could. But every movement hurt immensely as I felt the bed I lay upon. Straw. The mooing of a cow near me, I noticed. The beast’s head reached down, licking me as my nose wrinkled.

“Ew, that’s disgusting… but was that you talking, Mister Cow?” Could the cows talk, wherever I was? I couldn’t fathom for the life of me. Above me was a wooden roof, made of planks stacked in rows and a few longer, thicker ones. Below me was a bed of straw, and noticeably, the place stank. I was… definitely in a stable.

“Are you calling me a cow?! And that’s ‘Miss Hua’ to you!!!” My hands immediately shot to my ears as I squinted, now able to make out the figure of a girl. Green hair fell over her back, tied back neatly in a ponytail. Her eyes were… green, sharp, and clear-cut. Confident, without a speck of fear. Her clothes were traditional, yet they had clearly been through wear-and-tear.

“You’re very loud, you know, Miss Hua…” I groaned, as she extended a hand to help me up. So the cows couldn’t talk. At least that much made sense… if they could, I might have questioned whether this was some kind of fever dream. My hand slipped into hers and I, albeit painfully and with some effort, pulled myself up.

“So, stranger. Who’re you?” She asked, her voice gentle, yet rather concerned and protective– most likely of her animals.

I rubbed my head awkwardly, chuckling to myself. I was a random stranger who’d ended up in her stable, unfortunately, sleeping on her straw. She could easily report me to the local authorities– if there were any here in this strange place– for breaking and entering.

“Would it be weird of me to say I really don’t know?” She gave me a look as though to say ‘are you serious’, and I stared back at her with a look to say ‘yes, I am serious’. Our wordless exchange continued, until she sighed.

“Well, my amnesiac friend. You are currently on the continent of Arekos, specifically, the country of Huāgōng. I am Xīng Hua, owner of this stable and the farm you are currently on. I don’t know who you are, but I’ll let you stay here… provided you help me out on the farm! I’m not about to leave a person in need, and I can’t take care of this big place by myself to be frank…” She paused. This woman really did talk a lot. Though I didn’t mind– I seeked solace in the fact it drew me away from my thoughts on who I was, how I’d ended up there… or why.

“Firstly, we need to do something about your appearance– you look homeless. People who come by will treat you like a beggar, and I can’t have that if I send you down to the market to sell the fresh fruit you will be harvesting.”

She pushed a bucket of water over to me, and from there, I gazed, for the first time, at my own appearance. I was dressed in a beggar’s rags, a dirty grey colour with tears in every corner. Not only that, but my body was covered in open wounds, left without bandages. Messy hair tumbled over my shoulders, multi-coloured black and white. It began black at the roots, but faded out to white nearest to the edges. Amber eyes seemed to glow in the distorted reflection of the water; though that was just one eye. The other glistened a steel blue. I remembered that colour somewhere, it felt… familiar. But I didn’t know where. Nostalgic. And I gazed sadly into the bucket, before Hua tapped me on the shoulder.

“C’mon,” She said, breaking me out of my stupor, “Let’s go. I’m sure you’re hungry, I’ll fix you some food and deal with your hair, clothes, and injuries later.”

—

Over the coming days and weeks, I settled into a steady routine working on Hua's farm. She did not give me more work than she thought I could handle, yet she expected it to be done to the best of my abilities. In addition to this, she had cut my hair and tied it into a braid that went down to my mid-back. I quite liked it, to be frank. It felt.. Nice. I had realised, by this point, that we were of similar ages– maybe she was 11 and I was 10– we were both so young, yet she seemed more mature than our age. Scattered all within her house was serious bits of ornate jewellery, out-of-place for a commoner. And yet, no images of family. I wondered why she was all alone– but I had never dared to pry

She had also bandaged my wounds– and noticed a peculiar thing whilst doing so. In the centre of my upper chest, there lay a black, star-shaped symbol. I knew not why it was there, nor how it had gotten there. Ever so often, pain spiked in that area. Perhaps it was the cause.

Nonetheless, I quite liked this farm life– though I knew I couldn't stay here with her forever.

I was content, but that wouldn't help me find out the truth of why I was here. If there was any truth at all. Though I hoped there was– because that meant I had a purpose and reason to exist. If I didn't have a purpose or reason, why did I exist? If nobody needed me, why was I here? I didn't want to think of it. To exist without a purpose seemed like torture.

There was another thing I had discovered. This world worked in peculiar ways. As I made my way over to Hua, I noticed a strange sight. Green light emanated from her hands, and underneath, the plants seemed to grow faster than me taking care of them– way faster. I tapped her on the shoulder gently and she jolted, allowing a sigh to escape her mouth.

“You scared me…”

I pointed at the plants– flowers, to be more specific.

“What are you doing, Miss Hua?” I asked curiously. After all, I'd never seen anything like it.

“Oh, this? I'm just using my Soul Core to manipulate the plants.” I tilted my head in response, and realisation dawned on her. “Ah. That's right. Your Soul Core lies in the centre of your chest. It is the source of ‘soul’, an ability used by the few capable of manipulating it in this world, known as Sages. I have an affinity for nature, so I can manipulate plant life and am a Sage.”

My eyes twinkled with curiosity.

“Your soul core should lie beneath that odd scar of yours. All that's left is to see whether you have an affinity for anything… but first, you'll need to learn the theory. For that, I'll need books…”

She sighed, shaking her head as she got to her feet, boots crunching on the soil as she moved, hat resting on her head and protecting her from the sun that beat down upon us both. She held out her hand, gesturing for me to open my palm, and I did so without question. To my surprise, she dropped a bag of coins into my hand.

“There's your first allowance… Paycheck. You seem very interested in the soul, so go and buy some books, you little… wait. You don't have a name yet, do you? Or rather, you can't remember.”

I nodded– time had gone by so fast, we had both forgotten about that fact. She paused for a moment.

“Atlas. The one who bears the weight of the word. And Reyes. King. From now on, you are Atlas Reyes. Now go and buy those books, you look like a curious child!”

That was only the beginning of my introduction to the soul.