Catgirl System

Okay, so this mansion was connected to the System in some way, and it…or, rather, a terminal created by “Teague, the Goddess of Werewolves”…was now talking to me.

Tip: Ask for a “Command List”! *v*

…Huh?

Okay. Sierra wouldn’t leave me alone when I was cooking, but dealing with this part alone, that was fine.

As I began to swat the rubble veiling the topaz glow away, I thought, Command List.

Available Commands:
Observe Year 3770
View Log
Help Desk
About
Chat with Teague Terminal #5

I was flabbergasted. For the moment, though, I would ignore the existentially scariest of these commands. About?

The Teague Terminals are statues allowing certain Arkmagus creations (namely, creations of the Arkmagi Teague and Sierra, with special exceptions for creations of the Arkmagi Gib and Norton if they happen to be cool enough people! :D) to access this mansion at the height of its opulence in the year 3770.

It’s sort of just a museum exhibit, but what’s so neat about it is that this time the museum is ACTUALLY REAL??? 0o0

It took me so, so long to realize that the bunches of zeroes, Os, Us and such at the end of sentences were actually human faces. That was one way to play with letters! A way that made my head hurt.

Really, everything about this was head-hurty in some way. Shoving the trash to the floor, I discovered that the terminal with the glowing eyes was an exact duplicate of the statue I’d seen out front. It did look like a short, squat, impish version of the Arkmagus I’d seen in my horrible weird death flashback-dreams. From this angle, I could also see the floppy dog ears curving onto her bangs.

Okay… I thought, still wary as anything. Chat with Teague Terminal.

Chat Initiated.
Anything you say will be recorded for quality assurance.

How can I help you? :)

You can help me by fighting the magpies out to get me and my friend.

Keyword Detected: “fighting”
I’m afraid I can’t help you with that! Teague Terminals have no combat or healing capabilities. We are single-function, baybeee! OK but if you are suffering, we’re truly sorry about that. Try reaching out to the real Teague for assistance?

I rolled my eyes. Then let me talk to Teague?

Keywords Detected: “talk to Teague”
You can do that if your System is hooked up to Teague and she has provided you with a personal keyword or password. I’m just a terminal, so I can’t help ya there!

Teague huh? …Alright, forget that. Can you, uh…(okay, what’s something interesting I can ask about…)

Tell me something about the Arkmagi I don’t know!

Keyword Detected: “Arkmagi”
Long long ago, the universe created minor deities known as the Arkmagi. There were sooo many of them and though they were closest to humans in their habits and desires, they represented lots of animals.

Their job was to spread life throughout the galaxies. I think it was just for the fun of it. Unless that’s just the way I interpreted it, but let’s be real it’s kind of the best way XD

I’m kidding!!! Norton don’t read this haha!!!!!

ANYWAY O_O…

Yeah, some people made life for fun and others made it to start wars and spread suffering. I don’t even want to share that part but it’s true! Some of the Arkmagi are awful and that’s why I mostly stick to just a few fellow Arkmagus friends.

We think of ourselves like an art collective that also likes to hang out at the mall NOT THAT WE HAVE MALLS but honestly we’re kind of jealous and we wish we did.

That’s kind of it, I don’t know what else I should say here…*gives you ice cream*

The way the terminal trailed off at the end there didn’t give me much confidence that it could tell me anything else of interest.

Unless?!

Tell me useful stuff about Vencian history!

Keywords Detected: “Vencian history”
TBA as soon as Norton and Gib will actually tell me! But you could probably learn it better from a book. Time-travel terminals take a lot of energy to set up!

I figured she—er, “it”—didn’t mean it that way, but…wow, this statue really did just tell me, “Read a book, loser!”

Before I could push this any further, a sound interrupted. This time, an actual full-fledged skitter.

A pang of fear hit me. Wasn’t I at low Health and SP, fresh off a flurry of magpie battling? I wasn’t ready to fight again just yet, I needed to break away and strategize!

Or, honestly, maybe I could dodge responsibility—I mean, give myself more time.

I’ve got no idea if this is safe or functional after potentially millennia, but…observe year 3770!

Time Travel Protocol Initiated!
Safe travels! Hehe, just kidding, they are always safe :P

NOTHING ABOUT THE WAY YOU TALK GIVES ME ANY CONFIDENCE IN THAT!

Teague’s voice seemed genuine, but also, uh, not that smart. I realized that was the pot calling the kettle black, but now that I’d read these messages, I vowed to make my own speech patterns at least a little more formal. I mean, even Sierra wasn’t like this, and she was already super casual! Imagine the fear suffered by a random lycanborn citizen when they speak to what might be their god, only to read…“hehe.”

Nonetheless—

A full-body shiver came over me, one that threw my bones and organs out of joint. I was sick (almost literally) of feeling like a mind in a tumbling sack of liver and offal every time I used too many buffs, grabbed my golden sword the wrong way, or used a time statue! But maybe mortal minds weren’t meant to be doing any of the things I got myself into.

The whole room around me warped, wobbled like walls at magnitude ten, and then it all stopped.

It was all a smidgen brighter and a hundred times neater.

The statue stood before me, looking the same minus a host of smudges I hadn’t even realized were there until they were gone. Behind me and on either side of the terminal were cabinets filled with food in tins and jars…and behind it, halfway obscured, was the mural.

It wasn’t just my imagination! The whips and collars I’d seen really were—

Oh, crap, okay. The monster that’d made a sound earlier had followed me in here. I could see it directly behind me, on a fresh tile floor with the barest hint of dust.

It was a massive tarantula with wild black-and-white hair and legs as long as mine, greeting me with all four mandibles open. Those mandibles looked as sharp and bone-hard as four beaks.

…The mandibles were four beaks. The hair was feathers. And it had wings.

But that was only the first disturbing part of the beast. It was also wavering, somehow, like I was seeing its image on the surface of troubled waters. Wait, no! It was more like a wobbly TV recording, one with a veil of static.

But the paws in the lower edge of my peripheral vision, they were wavering too.

Message from Teague, the Goddess of Werewolves
Welcome to the year 3770! Don’t you dare touch anything, or the time paradoxes are gonna getcha!

Just kidding again! This whole setup is paradox-proof OuO

Not only can you not see or interact with other visitors (‘cept through the Guestbook), you also can’t interact with any of the stuff in here!

If you’ve come in with fellow time travelers, though, you can touch each other. Have that romantic kiss you’ve been planning!!!

Agh! Boxes that pretty much only explained what I figured I was experiencing!!

I waved for them to go away. Naturally, they didn’t go away. Meanwhile, I heard a vicious spitting sound. The magpie-spider had launched a spray of saliva. Wait…probably acid, actually.

I could tell because it was chewing through my ear.

HP: 90% (336/375)

Wait, what the heck?! Did I miss a notification for Leveling U—

Another spray hit me square in the forehead. Yelping, I fell backward and tried my best to scrabble out of the way.

HP: 72% (271/375)

What?! I knew the forehead was more vital than ear cartilage, but would a second strike really do that much more damage?!

I took a very very quick glance at my Stats.

Taipha
Ash Heather
Lv. 16
EXP: 93% (2235/2400)

HP: 72% (271/375)
SP: 100% (315/315)

ATK: 59
INT: 39
DEF: 33 (-10)
WIS: 31
SPD: 53

Debuffs:
Acid Burn
Effect: Reduces Defense.

At least it wasn’t falling every turn like the Time Dilation thing would’ve done with my Speed! This actually gave me a burst of hope. Plus, knowing that the magpies had boosted my Experience this much put an extra spring in my step.

And literally, as I jumped forward with my Slash out.

I could only clip the hind leg before the creature scurried halfway up the wall. Unwilling to let my attack go to waste, I followed with some impromptu gymnastics.

There was a cabinet full of jars not far to the spider-magpie’s left. Sure, I “couldn’t interact with anything,” but logically speaking, if a spider could climb up a wall, then I could probably touch walls and objects here without actually making them budge.

So I wall-jumped upward—bearing the theory out!—and pounced, for real this time.

I clawed it in its core, and the satisfying crackle told me that this hit was critical.

The spider-bird howled, the kind of strangled sound I never would’ve expected from an arachnid’s mouth or, for that matter, a bird’s four mouths. Then it gored me with the harpoons it called mandibles, which likewise flared with power.

I detached quickly, ripping myself from the beaks just as they activated. I fell to the floor, actually hitting my back. A holographic image of my own blood shivered on the floor.

HP: 49% (185/375)
SP: 70% (219/315)

Acting on impulse, I hadn’t even thought to try Guard or Meditate and hang onto the animal a little longer.

I could fix that now! On the other hand, the SP toll that Slash had taken made me wary. Maybe there was another way out of this, a way I could find better by watching, waiting, and dodging.

For now, I gave myself a single Guard. At least I could counteract the venom spray.

DEF: 54 (+50%) (-10)

Now the magspie/magpider/marantu…lag took off, shedding tons more feathers that reminded me to make Inventory space and pick up the spoils later. But mostly they reminded me to book it. I dodged as a brief hail of venom followed. Webs came next.

A projectile blob of web stuff hit the ground beside me, but I strafed away effortlessly. All those limbs were intimidating, but in the end, I probably had this creature beat for Speed. Which gave me a fraction of an idea…

When I’d used Air Cutter for the first time yesterday, it was a massive failure. Well, more like a meager, unimpressive failure. It didn’t do nearly as much damage as anything else in my arsenal. It was just ranged.

But here was a flying enemy kind of out of reach! One dangerous enough up close that I might now want to risk latching on with a flying Leap. Especially when I didn’t know how much HP it had left.

On top of that, I could raise the damage a few notches higher if I actually put effort into aiming the flying wind-blade. Just like how the spider had milked me for more damage by hitting my forehead. Yeah, I knew there was a debuff stacked on top of that…but there were some disadvantages that HP couldn’t quantify.

I aimed an Air Cutter directly at not one, but both wings—whip-cracking my whole body to fling it just right.

My aim wasn’t as golden as it could’ve been, but the ends of both wings were hit. Instead of shattering bones and exoskeleton, it merely rattled the spider. But that was good too. It threw the creature off its game, and that was perfect.

It also made the spider dip in midair.

Hm…okay, yeah, it was close enough. I’d Guarded myself just enough. And it did look ragged enough.

Did I have enough SP to do a combination special move?

SP: 54% (171/315)

It looked like I just barely did!

Leap—Slash!