Battleforged: Book 1 - THE BILLION CREDIT HEIST - An Earth Apocalypse LitRPG Adventure

“Do you, Vooch, give an oath of your own free will to act in the best interests of myself and my companions for any future heists that one or more of us embrace, directly or indirectly, in any capacity, in return for a share of the spoils equal to whatever one standard share of said heist will bring each of us, on average? And furthermore, do you swear, in any and all cases, to inform no one about my or my companion’s inolvement, whereabouts, personhood, or activities, directly or indirectly, save in good faith and with our consent, and only as it pertains to our heists? And do you furthermore swear that you will do absolutely nothing to harm, kill, or deliberately inconvenience myself, my kin, my friends, or my companions and their kin and friends, directly or indirectly, via yourself or external agents, to the absolute best of your ability, from this moment forward?”

Vooch stared at Eric for long, breathless moments, wearing the oddest expression, as if he didn’t sense the precipice they both stood upon.

The goblin blinked, revealing the widest, most innocent smile he could muster, soured only somewhat by his pointed teeth.

“I swear it! I, Vooch, do solemnly swear to this oath!”

Eric’s grin widened, feeling an odd tingle, as if slowly gaining momentum down a steep snowy sloap before his brain vibrated with a shivery thrum, as he sensed the sudden storm of spiritual energy now roaring through both their souls. And it was obvious from Vooch’s horrified flinch, that he felt it too.

Because Blood Magic and Necromancy weren’t just kissing cousins… they were two sides of the same coin.

A coin with which he could bind his prey to him for all time.

CONGRATULATIONS! You have earned the BONUS Master Necromancer Perk: Spiritual Oathbinding!

Thanks to your mastery of both Bloodmagic and Necromancy, you can now forge binding oaths with willing supplicants that will enact upon the moment of their deaths! Said victims will AUTOMATICALLY fail any save to resist absolute dominion of their soul upon the moment of their demise, should they be below your combined Adventurer+ 2xNecromancer level (Enhance Legion boon in effect!) - Those of higher level may save at a penalty = to your Master Necromancer Level!

Upon your supplicant’s death, their spirit will be under your effortless and permanent control! You may then summon forth their revenant to serve you at your pleasure, and may be summoned or dispersed at will, without any need for additional storage space! You may also elect to FREE said spirit upon claiming their soul to continue their journey to whatever awaits them in their afterlife, or allow them to eternally partake whatever nirvana (or hell) you have established for your bound Revenant Souls between corporeal summonings!

All hail the Necromancer King! Lord and master of all before him! For not even the edicts of a corrupt council can deny the Contender who would Rule Them All!

Eric blanched at the interface message audibly blaring loud enough for his entire party to hear.

Richard, Elise and Ron were gazing at him with looks ranging from disgust to dismay, while Steven and Jack were actively giving him thumbs up or clapping their approval.

Yuki flashed him a maverick smile, chuckling throatily. “So that’s your end goal, is it? Global Conquest as a necromancer king right out of World of Warblades 2.0?” She whistled, shaking her head. “And with your Contender status… fuck, could you actually do it?”

Jack hooted. “My man, Eric Silver! The future king of the world! So, where the fuck can I sign up as one of your death knight generals?”

Steve chuckled. “Are you sure about that, Jack? I think Death Knights are an undead class. I’m all for joining a winning team and absolutely stomping all the assholes who treated us like shit, but I’m not exactly keen on becoming one of Eric’s revenants.”

Steve flashed an almost apologetic smile Eric’s way as the goblin assassin screamed his dismay.

“Happy to join the winning team, but I would really prefer to do that firmly in the land of the living,” Steve quickly clarified. “You okay with that, NK?”

Eric groaned, massaging his temples. “Honestly, guys, I don’t know what the hell that was, and I sure as fuck wasn’t expecting the Interface to say any shit like that. My only goal was to make sure that dear Vooch here actually kept his word. And Jack, Death Knight is a Master Class, I’ll have you know. No need to be a Revenant to take it. As to whether you actually have what it takes to get a Master Class…” He caught all their gazes, most especially those looking at him so critically. “As to whether any of you actually have what it takes to claim a Master Class and the virtually guaranteed path to a glorious ascension that such a class would lock in for you… I guess we’ll have to check out Ashland Territory’s Tier 2 pods in the very near future and find out for ourselves, won’t we?”

Richard’s mouth opened, but no words came out. He just shook his head, expression caught between reproving glare and a certain hunger that not even his idealism could completely deny.

“Are you serious, Eric? Ashland Territory actually has a Tier 2 ascension pod?”

Ron clenched his jaw, shaking his head, looking like he was fighting the urge to tear into Eric’s blasphemous System stance like the drill sergeant he supposedly once was. Instead, the words that slipped from between his clenched teeth seemed to surprise even him.

“Can you really get us access to this pod? If you’re the fucking Necromancer King… what’s to keep the entire Northeast Counsel from denying you all access?”

Eric couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He turned to the goblin still trembling in horror. “Why don’t you go ahead and tell them who actually owns that ascension pod, Stumpy?

“What did you do to me, Eric Silver? What did you do!?”

He gently covered the trembling gobin’s lips. The creature whimpered, clearly too cowed even to nip at his finger, let alone try to bite it off. “Shh. Let’s focus on what matters, Stumpy. Why don’t you tell them about that pod?”

“It’s his!” Vooch hissed in barely constrained fury. “A priceless treasure which the Terran Accords specifically prohibit your kind from accessing was backdoored into this world by this monstrous mongrel’s tainted territory ascensions! By all rights, it should have been surrendered to Bloodtear Syndicate and the Terran representatives the moment we first made contact with this… this… monster!”

Eric chuckled coldly, allowing a hyperventilating Vooch his moment of outrage before catharsis faded once more to terror, the goblin’s despairing gaze once more meeting his own.

“What did you do to me, you monster? What did you do?”

Eric shook his head. “It wasn’t me, though, was it, Vooch? It was YOU who accepted that Spiritual Oathbinding.

Vooch furiously shook his head. “You were just supposed to mark me with a blood rune! A harmless, powerless blood rune!”

Eric chuckled coldly. “See that, friends? Our dear little sweet stumpy thought that the oathbinding was harmless. And he would have been all too happy for us to believe otherwise, which would have put him in an absolutely perfect position to wreak absolute havoc and slaughter us all in our most vulnerable moments.” He patted Vooch’s cheek. “Isn’t that right, Stumpy?”

“Yes, you little malignant shit, it is! Your blood oath should be powerless! Our very Seers swore that it was so.”

Eric’s smile grew. “Doesn’t seem like it quite worked out the way you all planned. Isn’t that a shame?”

The goblin’s eyes bulged with furious terror. “This isn’t even a conditional oath! There’s no way for me to avoid retribution! The moment I die, my soul is yours!”

Eric winked at his horrified-looking friends. Even if Steve and Rich were looking at him with dopey smiles. “Well, look at the bright side, guys. At least now we have definitive proof that there is a soul, and awareness after the end of our corporeal bodies. Isn’t that nice?”

He then turned to the goblin, his smile going ice cold. “That’s right, Vooch. You’re free to do whatever you like, so long as you understand that once you pass on, it will be me that judges your soul.” He winked. “Terrifying prospect, isn’t it?”

“And if I kill you first?” Vooch snarled.

Eric’s cold laughter washed over them all. “Come now, Vooch. What’s death to a Master Necromancer? And that’s not the question you should be asking yourself, is it, Vooch?”

The glaring gnoll lowered his gaze, visibly trembling. “No. Perhaps not.”

Eric nodded. “Correct. You’d better pray you aren’t sinking into the depths of the Halls of the Dead to receive my judgment in that realm. Because if I’m strong here, with life’s mercies guiding my hand… can you even imagine how strong, ruthless, and terrible I’ll be if I see your ugly mug there?”

The goblin began shuddering, tears streaming down his eyes. “Why the hell didn’t you just kill me, along with the others?”

Eric’s wild toothy grin softened into something almost human. He gently patted the trembling goblin’s sweat-slicked forehead. “Because this way, Stumpy, if you play your cards right, you get to walk away with your life and a FUCK TON of gold. And contrary to what you might think, I’m not quite the malicious ass your faction paints me as. I don’t mind telling you that if you treat me and mine right, I’ll be happy to let your spirit fly free… or stick you in the nirvana all my revenants enjoy, reliving their favorite memories when not in my active service.” Eric’s smile hardened. “And considering all the malicious shit you’ve no doubt pulled as an Assassin… if you’re at all worried about what comes after your eventual fall, maybe my Nirvana is the island in the storm that will ultimately leave your twisted little soul a fuck ton happier than your friends are, right about now.”

“None of those assholes were my friends,” Vooch snarled.

Eric gave him a pitying look. “That is pretty fucking sad, Vooch. I think you’re going to need my nirvana more than even you realize.”

Vooch glared at him for long moments, his desperate furious gaze turning thoughtful. “You’re right. I am alive. And if I treat you square, I can walk away with a full share and at least I know that no angry Goblin Seer will be coming for my soul when I totally fuck the whole faction over, steeling all that juicy sweet gold.”

The goblin got an actual tear in his eye, flashing the first genuine smile Eric had seen from the creature, his What The Other Party Wants and Social Perception perks actually green-lighting the little shit he was almost certain he’d have to kill.

So when the goblin reached out a slowly regenerating stump, Eric didn’t hesitate to carefully shake it.

“Deal.”

The goblin forced himself to sit up, turn around, and give the entire horrified-looking party his widest grin. “This is what we’re working with?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“We are so fucked.”

Yuki glared. “Fuck off, Stumpy. Not all of us are green.”

Stumpy snorted. “You’re a twenty year old girl who’s been running hustle missions as your uncle’s pleasure girl more than anything else, softening up targets before going in for the kill… just like sugar princess over there and boy wonder right next to me!”

He chuckled coldly when Emily flinched, burying her face in Richard’s chest whose cold glare made it clear that he was very much aware of a certain girl’s checkered past and just as clearly didn’t give a shit, though he looked like he’d happily tear Stumpy’s arms off… if they weren’t already gone.

Yuki’s cheeks also turned beet red, clenching her naginata with killing intent at the insult, earning a fresh smirk from Stumpy.

“Sure, sweetheart. You got to vent from being a toy for greasy old men on whatever rube your uncle wanted beaten down a peg, because not even he’s stupid enough to deny you any outlet when it could be his throat you cut. But your actual experience pulling off heists is a big fat whopping zero!”

Vooch gave Eric a mocking sigh. “Sorry, would-be Necromancer King, but none of these children are mechanics, safe-crackers, grifters, lifters, or second-story men. Little Jack over there got busted for breaking and entering! A summer in juvy hall and he’s already singing a brand new tune, happy to make fucking deli sandwiches for the rest of his life. Isn’t that right, Jacky boy?” The goblin said with a sneer.

Jack, surprisingly, seemed the least bothered by the barbed commentary. “Sure,” he said with a shrug. “I was pissed at life, got some cold water splashed in my face, then decided to stop being a stupid angry fuckup, and found out that I really liked working in a place where I could make people happy without any stress. My boss didn’t hold past shit against me, so long as I was stand-up with him. And I always was. Best of all, he showed me how to make the best damned roast beef sandwiches I’ve ever had outside the Sylvan Alliance’s own grub! On the job training, he called it.”

Jack sighed, shaking his head in fond memory. “Sam was a good man. Too damn bad he didn’t survive all the bullshit those damned orcs put us through in Gilton.”

Stumpy snorted. “Cute little story. Still pathetic, but fuck it. Even I love a good sandwich! Still, that doesn’t change the fact that the only one who even has the skills to Shadow herself out of the inevitable kill box that will be waiting for you all is sweet little Yuki here, who looks like she’d just love to pluck my eyeballs out right about now. Isn’t that right, princess?”

Yuki gave him the finger.

Stumpy laughed, pleased as punch. “Yuki will be fine. She won’t be getting a penny for her trouble, probably shaking like a leaf in her panic room she still thinks we don’t know about when shit goes South, but she’ll be okay. Now, as for everyone else?” The little goblin shrugged. “They’re just asking to get killed.”

Eric nodded. “So we need a professional touch. I thought as much. And Stumpy?”

“Yes, Necromancer King?”

“I’m going to give you a free pass. Just this once. But don’t get it twisted. We now all know that Bloodtear’s got files on every Classer of note in the Northeast. Clearly, you got the dirt on all of us. So I’m going to count all that shit as basic psyche training. We now know to be on emotional guard if any other goblins or any other Bloodtear associates try to humiliate us to force a reaction that would doom us all. But make no mistake, that ‘training’ is now officially over. Any more digging at my party-member’s emotional weak spots counts as abuse.”

Stumpy paled and flinched far more than Eric’s mild warning warranted. He slowly turned around, flashing the entire party of glaring delvers a simpering smile.

“A thousand pardons to one and all.”

Yuki, surprisingly, just rolled her eyes and laughed it off. “Fuck it. If you can help us actually pull off a heist, you can do all the shit-talking you want. I know my uncle’s an asshole, and my past is checkered as fuck. So what? Business is business. Shit in my closet can stay in my closet, so long as I have a fucking pile of gold bricks to put in front of it.”

Emily, cheeks still blazing, found the courage to smile back. “And we don’t have to let the past haunt us at all, if the people in our lives accept us for who we are today, and don’t judge the lost girls we were, two years ago.”

Eric turned to Vooch once more. “So, Voochy baby, what are the odds that any UFN administrator would want to use my friends’ considerable delving talents on an inside job?”

Eric smirked as Vooch’s eyes widened, bemused smile crawling across his features as if he couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

Eric grinned, Infravision acutely sensing the sudden heat radiating from more than one pair of cheeks.

“Yup! An inside job so delicate and incredibly profitable that a UFN Administrator uniquely placed to get his hands on a certain precious… something, is in desperate need of a band of overpowered twenty-year-olds to pull an inside job and make them all an absolute killing.”

Even before he finished the words, Stumpy was balling over in laughter. “These kids? Pulling a high-stakes heist? No, not just a heist, a smooth-as-silk inside job, what with their social fumbling and absolute lack of any skills save slaughter and preening for their parent’s business contacts? Oh you’re fucking cracking me up, Eric Silver!”

He cackled for long moments as everyone’s patient smiles grew strained, and then turned to outright glares.

Eric’s own cool smile only grew. “Are you sure, Stumpy? Surely they must have something going for them if someone as savvy and important as a highly placed UFN Administrator has confidence in them?”

Vooch’s laughter instantly died off, though his smirk stayed firmly in place as he gazed at one awkward-looking face after another. “The only thing Sir Charles Smith had confidence in was just how gullible your crew is.”

His smile stretched like a snake’s, seeing their Chevalier’s horrified expression.

“That’s right, wanna-be Paladin. We know all about the switcheroo you idiots were actually conned into thinking you had a chance in hell of pulling off.” He raised a bemused eyebrow. “Over ten billion credits in prizes, stat boosting fruit, spirit peaches, cultivation manuals, and arcane tomes granting Elite tier classes to the truly worthy. Prizes reserved for the future scions of Earth, just as soon as we smuggle them all here to clean-sweep your competition! And you actually think for even a tiny second that you’re going to have access to either prize box?”

Vooch’s manic chortles rang through the clearing they had stopped at, and Eric, despite the horrific ordeal he had gone through less than a day ago, actually found himself wincing for the looks of chagrin overcoming his party.

Steve paled, staring at the ground. “We’re such idiots!”

Jack chuckled bitterly. “And this is why I chose the deli life. I know I can make a good sandwich, but I’m the farthest thing from someone who knows the score. I’m just the patsy everyone else will leave holding the hot money when they’re already out of state and I know damn well that if I speak a word of it to anyone, I’ll leave juvy in a body bag.”

“I endangered the entire party!” Richard visibly crumpled up, cursing himself for seven types of fool while Emily just held him close and comforted him as best she could.

“So, what the fuck’s going on?” Yuki alone had the strength to whisper.

Vooch, who despite being the only one with stubs for arms, looked absolutely giddy, savoring their dismay while they pled for his advice.

Eric tried not to roll his eyes, but sure as sin a little humiliation now was worth a life-saving lesson or two. Even if that lesson was simply to stick with what one was good at, and not to go in blind, trusting people who were holding knives behind their backs no matter how wide their smiles. It was important enough that he didn’t even intent to call stumpy out on it. Far better Vooch play that role than he.

“What’s going on is that you little shits were being set up!” Vooch chortled. “Are you truly too stupid to figure that out?”

“But why?” Rich asked, eyes wide with dismay. “We’ve always paid our taxes, kept our heads down, didn’t make trouble for anyone. Hell, we even told Sylvis exactly what we were doing and he gave us the green light to harvest as much Dark Steel as we could get!”

Vooch nodded. “All true. But you committed two unforgivable crimes. One, you dared to get stronger than both Sylvis and Iglin, and their champions. Not just by a little, but by a glorious fuck-ton! Considering what most of us had to go through just to hit levels twenty-five through thirty before getting here, you lot of idiots achieving high forties so quickly is abso-fucking-lootly infuriating!”

He cackled at their expressions before continuing. “But the truly unforgivable sin was that you refused to fall in line. You refused to march under our banner! Sylvis could forgive your power, if it was his to control. But to a gnoll, an untamed alpha is a wild dog that will eventually tear out your own throat. So best put him down quick! Only problem was all the oaths and concessions your too clever parents rung from us, just to assure a bloodless coup of New York.”

Vooch gave a sad shake of his head. “When you think about it, we were the ones doing you all a favor, not slaughtering three fourths of your population like the orcs did in Gilton, as both our boys Jack and Eric know all too well, right? Ha ha! And what do we get for our lenience, munificence, and generosity? Our own words used against us! Twisting our arms to provide you lot with Classes that no natives should be permitted, especially this early in Earth’s Ascendance when you could conceivably challenge those chosen to steer your world to it’s ultimate destination… liquidation for the bottom line! Ha ha. Just kidding. Not really.”

He paused a moment, savoring the looks of horrified dismay now upon everyone’s features save one.

“Oh, but don’t worry, it’s even worse than you think! Because one of our own had come up with the brilliant plan of how best to take out all of you and your idiot parents in one fell swoop! All they had to do was catch you in the act of actually trying to steel the most precious possessions the UFN had at their fingertips, intended for Contender’s hands only!”

He sighed and chuckled, shaking his head fondly. “Can you imagine the look that would have been on all of your faces, leaving the local UFN security facility feeling like kings of the world, only to be caught at the last possible second, red handed, before being tried and shamed before the entire world!? Forced to look into your parents and sibling’s disbelieving eyes when they were ALL sentenced to execution for their crimes? The panicked screams, the tears of recrimination, the desperate pleas for mercy! Why, we could have made millions just selling tickets to see the execution of all of New York’s native administrators, right before witnessing the TRUE consolidation of power! We could have sold rights to torment the bound captives while they were already on the chopping block before finally chopping off their heads, personally! It would have been glorious. Glorious!”

His dreamy sigh turned to a bitter cold snarl. “And you bloody humans would have finally gotten the message that you are OURS to do with as we see fit! Everyone would have understood the underlying message. Don’t get uppity with your new masters! You take what we give you and you like it! You fight and die for our causes and count yourself lucky that we don’t kill you all out of hand!”

Vooch sneered and spat, glaring at the horrified-looking youths. “Do you idiots get it yet? The laws we’ve put in place are to codify our strength and rights as the conquerors of this newly ascended world. They have nothing to do with you at all, save to put you fools in your proper places! And if you’re too stupid to understand that, then you won’t be stupid for long!”

Richard had collapsed to the ground in horrified dismay, along with his entire party, wide-eyed and shaking with horror at a nightmare fate narrowly avoided. All except for a solemn-faced Eric and a sneering Ron.

“I nearly doomed my entire family,” Richard said with a whisper, tears streaming down his eyes. “It would have cost us everything. Absolutely everything!”

“Yup!” Vooch said with a happy little nod. “You almost did! We even got Iron Company to join the fun, because those assholes are also getting a bit too big for their britches. The other guilds at least know their place!”

Vooch then sighed and shook his head.

“But poor Sylvis thought your parents were still useful, and with Aurelia having the fucking gall to claim our enforcers as her new crop of paladins, that fucked with our entire time table! I swear that bitch knew exactly what we had cooked up, smirking at those Terran Administrators so eager to kill her when she stole their children, too stupid to realize that she was saving their lives. Because the fuck if we’re going to give her the satisfaction of a holy war morale bonus by killing the parents of every Paladin on Earth! Not even the gnolls are that stupid.”

He shrugged at the party’s utterly confused looks.

“Wait… you’re saying my baby sister’s now a paladin?” Yuki’s gaze was one of wide-eyed wonder. “After all the shit we went through? She’s just as fucked up as me!”

“True,” Vooch said agreeably enough. “But it turns out that when you swear your soul to a Silver-tier elven queen who infected this world with her legends and tales centuries before the rest of us could insert our own claws into your culture, you really can become a Paladin on the spot. Shape the flow of your own life tale, so to speak. Of course, a sacrifice had to be made to seed this world with a King-Arthur’s Dozen new paladins. You do realize that, don’t you, Eric my boy?”

The smirk he sent Eric was positively chilling.

Eric’s heart began to pound, but he said nothing at all. Absolutely refusing to take the bait, or blame for an instant twelve innocent children determined to better themselves… even if he was the stag to be sacrificed for their ascension.

There had indeed been a High Hunt, and by some miracle, he had managed to escape with his life. And he wasn’t even sure how much it had to do with those children's ascension. But he sure as hell wasn’t sharing any details or his suspicions with the goblin in their mist who was clearly far more than he seemed.

“So that’s when we came up with plan B. Take the boy with a kill-collar on his neck and manipulate him into dooming you all. Yet by some fucking miracle, Eric Orcbane managed to keep his head, and the dungeon was marked as cleared on the Dominion Interface! So then we had to come up with a plan C! Since it normally takes several days for first-clear champions to warp out of delves after reforging them in their soul’s image, we thought we had plenty of time to line up our arcane blaster rifles and triple perk your high-level asses into the ground!”

He turned to glare at Eric. “But of course the Winter Queen’s mad little wildcard Contender proves to be an exception to every fucking rule, and it’s him sniping our asses when we finally had the rift in our sights.”

Eric gazed at the sneering goblin for long moments, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck prickle in the air. “You’re no simple assassin.”

Vooch stared back at him for long moments, before flashing a chillingly cold smile. “That’s right, you stupid fuck. Congratulations. You managed to net yourself a Seer.”

Yuki and Richard exchanged wild-eyed glances, clearly at the end of their metaphoric rope.

“We are in way, way, over our heads,” Richard declared.

“No shit,” Yuki cursed, before turning to glare at the others. “We can never go back to New York City. Not for any reason. You all know that, right?”

“No fucking way,” Steve whispered staring at the glaring goblin in disbelief. “You’re a Seer! Why would you even expose yourself like this? Your mental stats should be fucking off the charts! You should have seen this shit coming!”

“Wrong, fool! The land before the rift was dead! Frozen! Cut off from the cycle of life and the cords of fate, and we want to know why! So of course I had to come.” Vooch sighed, shaking his head, Eric only now sensing the age within the tiny frame. “And here I was, looking forward to embracing old much-loved roles, spraying the ground with fresh blood it’s been too long since I had the chance to bathe in. And what do I find?”

He flashed Eric a bitter smile. “I thought I could bluff this boy out with a meaningless crimson rune. Turns out I was the one playing the fool. My soul is now bound to this little snot-nosed brat. I’m a Seer. I can fucking feel it! And he’s nowhere near as stupid as Greed thought. He could sense my play, and now he knows exactly what I am! My afterlife is now dependent upon how well I amuse him for the next thousand years!”

Eric’s gaze narrowed. “No, Vooch. I have absolutely no intention of having you follow me around and learning my business for the next thousand years. Our agreement remains the same. Help us with our heist, don’t fuck us over, and go. Take your cut and go offworld, far, far away from this sector, so we never cross paths again. Then I will have absolutely no reason to condemn you when you eventually pass on.”

Vooch shuddered, giving Eric a look he never would have expected from a Seer.

“The horrible thing is that I know you’re actually speaking the truth. If I leave in good faith… you really will just let me go. Denying me any pretext to kill you at all, any loophole that would allow me to escape your doom upon my soul, no matter how glorious my fate-bending perks might be.” He gave a dreadful little chuckle. “Believe me, Contender. I plan on fulfilling my end of the bargain and never seeing you ugly face again!”

Jack gazed at the seething goblin for long moments. “So the heist we were planning… it was all just a lure to destroy us?”

Vooch snorted. “Are you really that dense boy? Yes! Both you and your entire guild, and the parents among you that actually matter.”

“But the treasure in those containers… it’s real? People as advanced and sophisticated enough to take over world really send duplicate shipments by mistake?” Emily asked with a skeptical frown.

“Of course! And it was no accident. Clearly it’s to make sure the chosen scions get exactly what they need to prosper and grow, even should unexpected wildcards like the bastard half-elf smirking beside me right now actually enter the competition and throw all our predictions to the winds!”

Yuki blanched, then glared. “Eric, he’s breaking his word...”

Eric shook his head. “It’s fine. Technically, I am a bastard. What of it? If I allow a begrudging ally’s snarky comments to throw me off my game, then I really will have a glaring weakness that any other Seer could easily take advantage of. So as far as I’m concerned… this is just training. Right Stumpy?”

“That’s right, dickwad! Now tell your clueless friends that Aurelia’s surprise moves or no, we have a dozen people in place more than eager for the idiot-savants here to make a single error in judgment that we can then use to wipe them all from the board! Because with both gnoll contenders now dead thanks to Eric here...”

“I didn’t actually kill Sylvis,” Eric qualified.

Vooch frowned at that. “Regardless, with both of those fools down and their hotheaded champions taking their place, everything’s going to be a bit chaotic, and those high strung shits would absolutely love to consolidate their position with a clean sweep of all the major human factions within New York city before they tear through all the territories leading straight to the duchy of Boston.”

“Boston’s a duchy? Nice. What faction claimed it?”

Vooch snorted. “A human one, you ignorant idiot. Why do you think the gnolls have just allied with the Black Tusk Tribe? They’re eager to consolidate their grip upon the Northeast and that starts with controlling all major cities, trade networks, access to shipping, and working their way inland.”

Eric nodded. “A consolidation power play with a second major city soon to be under their control. I can see why the gnolls and their newest allies are finally showing their teeth! But still, this sounds a bit intricate for jackal-heads alone to think through. I’m guessing they’re also working with your fellow brother and sister seers?”

Vooch snarled and spat. “They’re the farthest thing from kin and you’re damned lucky I can counter them! But only to a point. And yes, of course we’re the masterminds behind this operation! Who do you think stands to profit the most when all’s said and done?”

The goblin seer’s glare abruptly transformed to twisted mirth as he cackled with discordant laughter. “I swear, those fools as bad about checking for contractual loopholes as you stupid humans are!” He sighed, shaking his head with a fond smile. “Those yapping little shits are lucky we’re feeling generous. They won’t even be wearing slave collars by the time all’s said and done. Hell, they may actually come out ahead!”

The smirking goblin’s face twisted back into a snarl. “But you’d better believe that by the end of it all, New York will be ours in every way that counts, as will Boston, and we’ll be ready for anything you fools throw our way!”

Eric flashed a positively manic grin at that. “Whelp, I guess we all know what that means!”

Emily frowned. “No, Eric Orcbane, we don’t.”

Jack clenched his grip on his javelin, glaring back in the direction of New York. “Clearly it means we should stay the hell away from all coastal cities and call off this heist bullshit altogether.”

Eric rubbed his chin. “Sure. It could mean that. Or...”

“Or?”

“Or it could mean that we take advantage of the chaos and rob New York absolutely blind!” Eric said with a wink. “We just need a little bit of planning, preparation, and teamwork. And I think I know just who to bring on board.”

Emily gazed at him disbelief. “You’re serious.”

“As the grave.”

Eric turned to Vooch. “Can you get us all the pertinent info for both the UFN Vault and the Federal Repository?”

The gnome blinked, gazing at Eric in wide-eyed disbelief. “Wait, let me get this straight… you’re actually going to let me go? You’re worst nightmare? And trust me to both get the pertinent info you need and not stab you all in the back when you’re not looking? And if you think you have a shot at breaking into either facility, you’re a fucking madman!”

Eric laughed. “Yes, to all of it. I got a good feeling about you, Stumpy. Somehow I don’t think you’re going to let me down.” His smile hardened. “Because with my mark upon your soul… you’d be a fool to do so.”

Vooch gazed at Eric for long moments, before finally shrugging. “Sure. Why the fuck not? Now we just need a decent dead drop.”

Eric nodded. “Just dig a hole anywhere in that zone of frigid earth you yourself said was severed from the cords of fate. Which hopefully means that none of your fellow Seers will be able to trace what the fuck you’re doing or leaving, even if the papers themselves are hot. Just place a stone or log on top with a single drop of your blood.” Eric’s smile widened. “We have an arcane connection now. So I’ll be able to sense both the dead drop and any unexpected malice you might have towards me… from quite a ways away.”

Vooch blinked. “Fuck if that isn’t actually a fairly decent plan. Alright, it will take me a few days to get what you need. I recommend we not communicate via interface for obvious fucking reasons. Give me a week’s time. I’ll check every few days after the first week for any further messages.” He tilted his head. “If you’re serious, and you’re willing to take that extra step, let me know when you need a distraction.” He flashed a mirthless smile. “So none of you can ever say that I didn’t do my part to earn my share.”

“And then you’ll have a karmic weight on us, if we leave you high and dry,” Steven noted.

Vooch smirked. “I’m glad we understand each other. Now if that’s all… I’m going to stick around you idiots until my arms grow back, and then I’m out.”

Eric smirked. “Sure. But we’re just about to head to the adjoining Orange.”

Vooch’s confident demeanor slipped. “You’re fucking insane. It’s a pure fluke that the oversized herbivore monstrosities this close to New York aren’t aggressive, just damn close to indestructible. But the adjoining territories?” He shuddered. “We never enter them without the veli forcefields on full.”

Eric nodded. “Which is why you might want to hop out now.”

Vooch glared. “Fucker.”

Eric grinned. “A pleasure doing business with you, Stumpy. I hope we all end up rich as lords, and that you and I never see each other again.”

“Finally, something we can agree on!” Vooch back-flipped out of the vehicle with effortless grace, seeming to fade into the shadows in the blink of an eye. “Later, losers!”