Apocalypse Parenting

I was on my way to cycle the laundry into the dryer when the power went out. The lights flickered off. The whirr of the air cleaner silenced. Somewhere, an electronic beeped as it lost power.

Great, now I’d have to hang the laundry up to dry, even though everything in there would tolerate the dryer. How obnoxious. Oh, and Gavin’s gi pants were in there too, and he needed those for aikido tonight. Would they dry in time hanging up in the laundry room? I doubted it. Maybe if I hung them outside? Frowning, I pulled my phone from my back pocket to see how many hours we had before we’d have to leave.

My phone didn’t turn on. I mashed the power button several times to no avail. Maybe it was my case? I took it off to push the button directly, but it still didn’t work.

I started to feel alarmed. Had there been a major solar flare? A regular power outage wouldn’t get to a phone, and there’d been over 60% power left a few minutes before. I scooped the kids’ toy camera off the ground as I made my way to the back door. It didn’t turn on either, but that could be because they’d left it on to let the batteries drain - not uncommon. Still, that would be a lot of coincidences.

I tried to remember what I’d read about solar flares. I knew they made a big electromagnetic pulse that fried electronics, but were they instantaneous, or did it happen over a few minutes? Were there other kinds of radiation?

I opened the back door. “Kids? Come in, please. We’re going to have lunch soon.” I didn’t want to alarm them. Micah was definitely the kind of kid who would panic at the idea of a solar flare, and none of them would take the possibility that all the electronics had been fried very well. Still, better to get them inside, just in case.

Cassie was the first in the door. “I am soooo messy!” she said, the faux-concern in her voice not quite masking the delight as she dripped water onto the floor.

“I tried to tell her to stay out of the mud, but she wouldn’t listen,” Micah told me, his voice thick with disapproval. He’d never appreciated mess. Even as a baby, he’d rarely gotten more than his fingertips messy.

“Don’t worry, Mommy, I washed her off with the hose!” Gavin gave me his patented get-out-of-trouble dimpled grin framed by two thumbs up.

“How… helpful. Thank you, boys.” I rubbed my forehead, taking a deep breath. Alright. I yanked Cassie’s sopping clothes off her body and handed them to Gavin. “Can you put these in front of the washing machine for me? I have a clean load in there right now, so I’ll have to put them in later. Micah, could you help her get some dry clothes on? I need to check on something before I make lunch.”

“Yep!”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

“Nooooo! I will pick my own clothes!” Cassie streaked off toward her bedroom.

Micah gave me a look of dismay and I shook my head in sympathy. “Just do your best. I’ll be there to help in a minute.”

“Okay,” he said doubtfully, and turned to trudge off toward his sister’s room.

I headed the other way. I had an eReader in my room. That thing had a charge that would last over a week, and I’d just topped it up yesterday. At this point, everything could be freak accidents and weird coincidences, but if my eReader wouldn’t turn on either, something was very wrong.

It didn’t turn on.

I paused for a second.

This wasn’t good.

A major solar flare could affect a big area of the country, I thought. We could be without power for weeks. Should I just pack the kids up and drive to my parents’ house? Or my brother’s place? I’d have to find a neighbor who still had a landline so I could call first, to see if either or both were outside the impacted area. Did the Masons have a landline? I wasn’t sure. I knew Sheila Berry did, but she’d be at work right now. Her husband might be home. Still, she was only a couple minutes drive away. Probably the best bet.

I sighed. I needed more information to make plans, and I couldn’t really leave the kids alone while I went to get it. Lunch first, catastrophe later. Dragging kids around the neighborhood would be far easier if they weren’t hungry.

I walked into the kitchen. If the power was out, it would be better not to open the fridge. Maybe it would come back on sooner than I feared? There was bread in the cupboard and-

Congratulations!

Your planet has been selected for the latest round of Maffiyir!

What? I spun around, backtracking to be sure the TV wasn’t on.

Survive to the end to be granted not only a sponsored citizenship in the Commonwealth, but permanent ownership of all the vast riches you’ve managed to accumulate throughout the game.

The TV was definitely off. And the volume of the announcements didn’t change as I moved. It didn’t sound like it was coming from inside my head, but from someone right in front of me… but it sounded that way no matter which way I looked, or where I walked.

In order to level the playing field for all participants, all electronic wiring has been ruined and most combustible materials have been neutralized.

I stopped walking around. All electronics? On the whole planet? And combustibles… like gasoline?

In compensation for this, every sentient resident of this planet is receiving one ability of their choice! The possibilities are --

“Kids!” I shouted. “Wait! Don’t you dare select an ability! We need to talk first.”

--but do know that the impact of such abilities may be more minimal than expected, until properly supported. A list of recommended starting abilities will be provided upon request following this introductory message. Simply state “Interface: Ability Options” to see the list.

The game will continue until the sentients of this planet have claimed at least 30% of the non-liquid surface area, or until only 5% of participants remain. Face the challenges before you to grow in strength and earn rewards. Good luck!

Five percent? They - whoever or whatever had sent this message - thought what they’d done might be lethal to 95% of humanity? Part of me just wanted to laugh. I dug my nails into the palm of my hand. It definitely hurt. I wasn’t dreaming. This didn’t seem like it could be real, but I would have to treat it as real. If it was some prank or something, I’d look silly, but if it was real…

I swallowed. Something that could kill 95% of humanity. And here I was, at home with a nine-year-old, a six-year-old, and a three-year-old. My husband was away on a business trip, too. He would have been home late tonight. If only he was here now!

Keeping the kids safe would be so much easier with any other adult to help out, but Vincenzo wasn’t any other adult. I knew some marriages that seemed to work well where each partner had their own hobbies and interests--and it wasn’t like we did everything together. Just, you know… 90% of things. Both of us were big fans of games, and we’d even play single-player games together. We made a great team, with him being better with the quick tactical decisions and me having better overall strategic insight. I loved playing through puzzle games together. Sometimes we’d both have a good grasp of a puzzle, but usually if he was stuck, I’d be able to figure it out, and if I was lost, he’d be able to move us forward.

I clamped down on my rising panic. It didn’t matter how much harder it was. I was a mom. My kids needed me, and Vince needed me to take care of them. I could stress later.

“Kids! Micah, Gavin, Cassie! Into the family room, NOW!”

After a moment, the boys thundered into the room, Micah tripping over a toy as his eyes scanned back at forth. I looked behind me, but everything looked normal.

“You okay, buddy? Did you see something weird?”

He focused on me for a second, looking amused. “Well, yeah, Mom. This Interface is super weird, don’t you think?”

I gave him the Mom Voice. “You didn’t pick an ability yet, did you?”

He looked offended. “No! You said not to. I’m just looking. Have you not looked at it yet?”

“Uh… not yet. Um. Interface.”

Words swam in front of my face, but I hesitated before starting to read them. “You two better not pick anything. Let me look at this.” I raised my voice. “CASSIE! You get your butt in here! Don’t make me start counting.”

I heard a tiny “Ughhhh,” muffled by the distance and walls. “I’m coming.”

My little threenager.

I rolled my eyes and took a look at the floating text.

Meghan Moretti

Novelty: n/a

Abilities: none

No stats, unless “novelty” was some strange idea of one, but it was hard not to think of a video game when you saw floating text like that. Not that I’d ever named a character after myself. With all the weirdos out there? No, thank you. Seeing my own, real, name up there gave the experience a creepy touch of uncanny valley.

“Ability options,” I muttered.

Here are twelve starting ability options suggested for your species!

Improvised Equipment

Powerful Blow

Mark Target

Draw Attention

Camouflage

Ambush

Accelerated Dodge

Hex

Fire Bolt

Ice Bolt

Healing Touch

Force Shield

Focusing on each option gave me a bit more information. Most did just what you’d expect. There were a few odd ones. Draw Attention forced enemies to train any focusable senses (like eyes) on you for up to a minute, but didn’t otherwise restrict their actions. Hex was a small damage-over-time ability. Ambush made your attacks significantly more damaging if the target didn’t notice them coming. Improvised Equipment strengthened armor and weapons slightly and automatically repaired minor damage. If we would be fighting - which the ability list strongly implied - it was easy to see how getting a small immediate boost could keep people alive, but it probably wouldn’t be a very strong ability long-term.

Of course, we’d have to make it to the long term for that to matter.

95% dead, possibly. I shuddered. It was hard to focus.

“Mommy!” Cassie’s voice was shrill with delight as she entered the room holding up her favorite stuffed animal. “Pointy Turtle can talk to me!”

“That’s nice, honey,” I said, distractedly. Then, I thought a moment. “Wait, what? What do you mean, Pointy Turtle can talk?”

In her hands, the small plush turtle craned its little neck backwards, tiny embroidered eyes tilting questioningly. “Cassie, should I answer the questions of this Mommy?” The turtle’s voice was high and squeaky, a perfect mimicry of the voice Cassie always used to speak for the stuffed animal, but Cassie’s mouth wasn’t moving in the slightest.

“Yes! This is MY Mommy.” Cassie rubbed her face against Pointy’s perfectly rounded and decidedly non-pointy shell, clearly having the best day of her entire life.

Gavin’s jaw dropped in awe. Micah looked irritated. “Cassie, you used your ability, didn’t you?”

“No!” Cassie shouted angrily. “I just wanted Pointy to talk, and she DOES.”

The tiny, adorable, turtle gave an embarrassed cough. “Actually, Cassie, getting me to talk did use your ability.”

Cassie’s eyes got wide. She looked up at me, slowly tilting her body away from me as she tried to hide Pointy behind her.

I sighed. “I’m not going to take Pointy, Cass. Just… no one else spend their ability, and let’s see what you’ve got here. Pointy… uh… is it alright if I call you that?”

“That is my name.”

“Right. Uh. Look, what can you do for Cassie? Can you protect her? Fight enemies for her?” If Cassie had opted into a pet class, that might not be the worst thing. It might let her help out without risking herself. Even if Pointy didn’t look very dangerous at the moment, she might be able to grow.

“No, I have no combat capability whatsoever.”

So much for that idea.

“I am... think of me as a very limited information and communication artificial intelligence.”

“Communication? Can you contact others for us? Cassie’s father is several thousand miles from here, and-”

Pointy cut me off, squeaking apologetically. “I’m afraid right now my communication abilities are limited to auditory range. I can, however, converse in over 100 Earth languages.”

Wow. Useful. I thought to myself sarcastically. Yes, okay, it was great to be able to speak multiple languages, yadda yadda, but the only person I knew of in our neighborhood who didn’t speak English was Grandma Chen, and her son and grandchildren were quick to translate for her. Still, that wasn’t all that Pointy had said.

“Information. What information can you give us?” The introductory message had told us almost nothing. If Pointy could give us a better gauge of what was coming, she might be worth taking up Cassie’s ability.

“I’m working on that.”

I raised my eyebrows. “What do you mean? If you can tell us something, tell us!”

Pointy raised her head, attempt at an air of dignity somewhat spoiled by her cute rounded feet and eight-inch profile. “I have existed for just under three minutes. I was brought into existence with an American cultural behavior pack, Earth language database, limited additional common-knowledge Earth information, and approximately 100,000 hours of recordings from the first month or so of the previous Maffiyir. I was not given language packs for any form of Commonwealth Standard communication, nor was I given a great deal of processing power. I have information that can help Cassie and those she permits me to speak with, but I…” Pointy dropped her head again, looking as ashamed as a stuffed turtle can. “I will need time to figure out what that information is.”

“Do we even have time? What’s going to happen in the near future? Are we going to be attacked in our homes? What nature will these challenges take?”

My voice got a little loud and Cassie glared at me. “Mom! Be nice to Pointy! You are being mean.” She started patting the turtle’s shell and cooing. “You are a good Pointy. And I love you, and you love me.”

Pointy appeared to be frozen, processing. When she began moving again, she first turned her tiny head up at Cassie and smiled. “I do love you, Cassie. I will do everything I can to keep you safe.”

“And my family!”

Pointy nodded, taking the correction in stride. “And your family. Who are your family?”

“My Mommy an’ my Daddy and the brothers, Micah and Gavin! Silly Pointy.” Cassie laughed, like Pointy had made the best joke ever. Of course, from Cassie’s perspective, Pointy probably had.

Pointy had been “living” with the family since Cassie was only a few months old, and the pair had been inseparable. The fact that Pointy had not actually been a conscious entity until a few minutes ago wasn’t something Cassie had really internalized, and I was grateful the AI was playing along. Although, I would need to have a talk with the reptilian plush later. Even our brief discussion made it clear that Pointy was more than a toy parroting responses. Was she truly intelligent? Capable of love? Capable of lies? Now wasn’t the time for existential crises, but I wasn’t about to blindly trust some alien “American cultural pack” with my daughter. Still. A problem for later. The kind of thing I would have made a note in my phone to come back to, if it wasn’t now a useless hunk of plastic and metal in my pocket. I frowned. I was going to have to start using pencil and paper to keep track of things, like a neanderthal.

Pointy started speaking again. “If this Maffiyir follows the patterns of the past one, I would expect you to be safe in your home for a period of a few days to a week. I should be able to narrow that down better later, but for now, don’t expect immediate incursions.”

“Incursions?”

“Ah, by the aggressive artificial life forms that should be taking shape outside.” Pointy waved a rounded foreleg toward the window, and the kids dashed over to look. I wasn’t far behind.

In the street in front of my house was a strange tailless life-form about the size of a raccoon. It had four legs, and was covered in strange pliant outgrowths that seemed midway in between feathers and scales. It turned towards where we stood at the window and opened its mouth to reveal a sharklike maze of needle-like teeth, and it let out a high pitched “Kirikikikiiiii!” like an exotic bird, clearly audible even through the glass. There was nothing on its head that looked like eyes, but given how clearly it seemed to react to us, it must be able to see. I decided the two glistening ovals on its shoulders were probably eyes.

No doubt it had other weapons as well, and yet I couldn’t help but feel relieved. I’d read many books where people had been thrust into a mysterious world of magic and wonder, and all-too-often they were immediately pushed in way over their heads. I didn’t want to fight an alien rodent, but it at least seemed plausible! Better than immediately having to fight alien bears or alien dragons or such nonsense.

“That thing… doesn’t seem too bad,” I said cautiously. “I was expecting much worse.”

Pointy sighed. “They’ll get worse. How quickly, I’m not sure yet. I’ll work on it. It seems undeniably apparent from the volume and incompleteness of my recordings that the Maffiyir is intended largely - if not entirely - as entertainment for the Commonwealth. I expect it to be rather drawn out, to maximize the amount of entertainment it can provide. After all, they don’t kill half the participants in those Survivor shows in the first episode, do they?”

“They don’t kill anyone on those shows at all! It’s just a name!”

Pointy paused. “My mistake. I should have fully reviewed my available data before using it as an example.”

“Pointy, you know crazy words!” Cassie was staring at her friend.

“Should I stop using crazy words?” Pointy asked, immediately.

Cassie gave me a guilty look, hesitating. “Mommy likes crazy words…”

“Then, if it is okay, I will use crazy words for your Mommy, and words that are not crazy for you?”

“Yes, that is great!” Cassie squeezed Pointy in a tight hug.

We all watched the monster outside for a few minutes, until the turtle’s squeaky voice interrupted.

“Based on my cultural data, would I be correct in assuming you do not intend to have the children fight?”

I laughed, slightly hysterically. “Of course I don’t! I mean, I want them to be ready in case something manages to get past me or into the house, but I plan to protect them as much as possible.”

“That plan does not appear to be the best for the safety of Cassie and her brothers.”

“What?” my voice was flat, the wave of terror those words had caused was as well-hidden as I could make it. “Explain. There would have to be a damn good reason before I would send a nine-year-old out to fight, let alone a three-year-old.”

My bad language drew a shocked look from Gavin, but Pointy answered quickly, distracting him from telling me off for it.

“My cultural information indicated as such, which is why I mentioned it. However… There is an event that recurs throughout my recordings. I’m not sure exactly when, but my guess would be a few weeks in. Countless members of the previous Maffiyir participant race are shown in similar environments, fighting what appears to be an identical enemy. While some do appear in this environment together, fighting multiples, there are other recordings of undersized individuals fighting alone and unprepared, so I cannot guarantee you would be able to undergo the trial with your children. And, even if you can, your children would still be there in that same small area with you.”

I stood frozen, my mind whirring like an overclocked computer.

Pointy continued apologetically, “This trial seems specifically designed to punish non-participation.”

“I… see.”

It was another minute, or maybe two, before I spoke again. There was so much to consider. We had gotten unreasonably lucky that Cassie had picked Pointy as her ability. True, there was much the turtle couldn’t help with yet, but the few bits of information she’d given us already had been critical.

It was all too much to deal with. It really was.

On the other hand, life felt like that for me a lot of the time - just because it happened to be true today didn’t make it that much harder to fight down the panic than usual. I grabbed a pencil from the drawer and flipped over an advert mailer on the dining room table, starting a list on the back of the envelope.

Deal with fallout of the electrical outage.

Cars working?

Secure water

Figure out food situation

Find ways to make kids stronger

Killing monsters - does it make you stronger, like a videogame?

What abilities should we get?

Armor - how can we protect ourselves

Weapons - figure out

Get more information from Pointy and find way to share with others

Contact Vince

I stared at the list I’d made. I was sure more should be added to it, but nothing sprang immediately to mind. It was a good start, and it helped me decide what to focus on first.

“Micah, I want you to get bowls and cups out from the kitchen cupboards and set them on the floor. Gavin and Cassie, start filling every container you can find with water. You can set them on or under the kitchen table when you’re done. Pointy, can you please try to focus your energy on information to help us figure out our best ability choices? See if you can see which of the starting abilities they offered are most effective, both in and out of combat. Or, maybe there are other abilities they did not list that would serve us better? I’m concerned about the food situation, too, so any information you can offer on that would be helpful.”

Water was the most pressing concern. We could make do without anything else for a good, long while, and I had a fair amount of food. Even if I only looked at the dry goods and nonperishables, I was sure we easily had enough for a week, maybe much more. I could check later. Without electricity, the pumps filling the area water towers would have already stopped. I knew the water towers held a great deal, but probably only enough for a matter of days at most.

I didn’t think this would all be over in days.

In the garage, I had a tube of silicone sealant. I’d been meaning to chip out the mildewed silicone around the edge of the sink, but hadn’t gotten around to it. Nice work, past me! I suddenly did not give a single shit about that mildewed sink, but the silicone could be a life-saver, literally. I slammed it into a ratchet gun, reading the label as I did so. “Can be exposed to water in as little as 30 minutes.” Huh. We’d have to guesstimate on that. I started plugging the drains in our tubs, then going around the edges of the seal with silicone. I did the master bath last, squeezing oozing gobs of extra silicone into and around the jacuzzi jets for good measure. Could water leak through those? I wasn’t sure, but I was sure the tub wasn’t intended to be full of water constantly for weeks on end. I squinted at my work critically. Better give that one more than 30 minutes.

Micah came in. “Mom, I got everything down from the cupboards.” His voice was breathy and rushed, slightly panicked. “How is all this water going to help anyway?”

“Well, water is probably going to stop coming out of the faucets in the next few days. We’ll get as much as we can, seal the top with plastic wrap, and then we’ll have clean drinking water for ourselves or anyone else who needs it. Pretty sure my bathtub will hold enough for the four of us for close to a week.”

“Oh. Okay. What should I do now?” Micah wasn’t even looking at me, his head practically on a swivel as he kept glancing in all directions.

“Hey, buddy.”

“Yeah?” His eyes were on the window behind me, although little could be seen through the frosted glass.

“Look at me.” I tilted his head up to force him to meet my eyes. “You’re scared, huh?”

The words burst out of him like water through a dam. “There’s a monster on our lawn and Cassie’s stuffy is talking and I can make words appear and I was kind of excited at first because it said there was a Fire Bolt ability and that’s magic and you know I want to be a wizard and it seemed kind of like a game and I love games but the voice said people could die, and that means we could die and I don’t want to die and I’m really worried and Dad’s not home and Pointy said I’d have to fight the monsters and I don’t want to but I don’t want you to do it either…”

I crushed him in a hug.

“I know. I know. You’re right about all of that, and I’m scared too. It’s scary. But we’re going to make it. You and me, together, we’re going to protect Gavin and Cassie. Dad will make it home someday, and when he does, he’s going to find us here, waiting for him.”

“But how?” his eyes were glistening with barely-contained tears.

“I have a plan. You follow me upstairs. I’m going to dump out the clothes bins so you can fill those with water too - you’ll have to use one of the pitchers to fill them, they’ll be too heavy once they’re full. And while you’re working on that, I’ll start working on step two.”

I winked at him, faking confidence.

For now, at least, he seemed to buy it.