AntiGod: The Odyssey Of God

Shibo

Age 19

“This is bad. Really, really bad. *Gahh. Why does this always happen to me!”

Hello cruel and unjust world. My name is Shibo. Right now, I’m just the local fatty, running for my life. Ironic, huh? Well, that’s just how my life goes.

I assume you’re curious who’s chasing me. Heh…

You should be asking what’s chasing me. And my answer to that? Absolute misfortune.

With a body as big as a skyscraper, a mouth large enough to fit a village. Not to mention those squiggly arms. Ugh, it makes my body cringe just thinking about them.

“How long is this thing gonna chase me?! Get a damn life!”

(Dammit. It doesn’t help that this ground is so bumpy. I could trip if I’m not carful.)

“Ughh. I’m tireddd!! Screw this.”

Deciding to change my plans, I rotated my body while leaping back to face the massive enemy. You could hear a *Shhh sound from my feet dragging across the dry biome.

Aiming my two sweaty palms at the beast, I yelled:

“Empower…! NOW SUCK ON MISFORTUNE!!”

With those words uttered, an impressive number of black stars spurred from my hands and enveloped the giant. For a moment, it staggered the monster. And that’s all the time it needed.

In the very next moment, a foot -easily the size of a large town- stomped down on the monster, crushing its body. What was left could barely pass as remains. Only a few splashes of blue blood here and there.

“Hot damn. Even I didn’t see that coming. I’m surprised that hasn’t happened to me yet… And it doesn’t seem like that giant has any beef with me either…Heh. Serves you right.” Shibo said as he peaked at the centipede’s remains. That was my special misfortune blast.”

***

As I was saying, before… that. My name is Shibo. And my luck… is a hot pile of dogshit. The worst of the worst. Truly garbage.

My big secret is that this is not my first life. Truth is, I’ve died and reincarnated many times before. Though I couldn’t tell you how many times exactly. My memories from those lives aren’t that clear and most of them come and go in tiny fragments.

What I can say for sure, is that no matter the life or era, my luck was always a hot pile of trash.

One time I asked this cute girl to be my girlfriend. Man was she pretty. The kinda girl to make you change your life for the better. The kind you’d tell your friends about even though you didn’t have a chance in hell.

But to my surprise she said yes. Man, can you imagine how happy I was? I smiled hard enough to purify all of hell.

But then I died… Like right there, in front of her I died...

When I woke up, poof. I was a baby in my next life yet again.

Eventually, I kinda got used to it, ya know? I live my life to the fullest and if I end up dying along the way then it is what it is. I could die right now, and I wouldn’t even care. Because I know I’ll just end up right back to where I started.

So now the question is, just where could this boy be going exactly? I guess I could tell you.

My answer to that… I have zero idea.

Lay off me okay. There aren’t many places I can go anyway.

Last time I checked, my bounty was almost a staggering 1 billion! With a bounty like that, you can’t even trust your parents.

And unfortunately for me, my parents died from poverty. The slumps of the Bushin Empire were brutal I tell ya.

“Hmm… I guess I could try turning myself in. One billion could have me set for life.”

{Unfortunately for Shibo. He would soon find out that is NOT how it works.}

***

“Hey so I’m here to turn in a bounty.”

“Guards arrest him! That’s the most wanted man!”

“Hey, get your hand off me!”

{As the guards swarmed and captured the boy, two guards asked each other:}

“Huh? Why would he just walk in here like that?”

“Maybe he’s an idiot.”

***

“Hello again. Your favorite fatty here.

I’m writing this letter to commemorate the amazing time we spent together, Guinevere. I hope to one day reunite with you in heaven. I know you miss me greatly. I’m currently in the lowest level of prison in the Kingdom of Bushin. Very fancy sounding I know.

Love, Shibo.”

{Guinevere is the current Queen of Camelot southwest from here. She’s widely regarded as the most beautiful woman in the world. Also, she’s still alive, he just likes fantasizing.}

“…Alrighty... So, what am I gonna do now.”

*PSHEWW!!

*BOOM!!

"! The hell!?”

Behind me, I heard the sound of light beaming down my cell.

With how small and dirty the room was, the sudden strike created a cloud of dust.

“*Cough *Cough. Damn… What -*cough- was that? An explosion maybe? No, that sound was off.”

I covered my eyes until the dust cleared away through the metal bars beside me.

Finally getting a somewhat clear look, I saw something strange. The body of a maiden.

She was cute. The kind of girl people would go to war to protect. She wore silky purple hair that paired nicely with the mole found under her lip.

The strangest thing was that even though she was unconscious, she clung to a thick white book with both arms.

Questions like “How did she get here, at the lowest level?” and “Who even is the girl?” raced through my mind.

But more than that I wondered if this was my misfortune at work.

Or maybe something different entirely…