An Immortal's Retirement: To Achieve Peace

He woke up feeling slightly disoriented. His comprehension of the water element had shaken him in an unpleasant way. Comprehending a law was strange. It felt like he had a passive shift in how he viewed reality as if everything about him had been touched and reformed.

It wasn’t like a Dao. A Dao was more insightful and religious. It was a path, a path to battle, a path to life, and a path to victory. But laws were different. It felt like he had learned something physical, something more akin to arithmetics instead of technique. He knew water in a way he had never known before. His qi flowed better as well, acting more like a liquid and taking on its attributes.

"You make a habit of passing out this much?" A voice spoke, rousing Cai from his self-reflection.

"I- I apologize," Cai stuttered. "I did not mean to trouble you."

"Relax kid. It was a joke," The Honored Master replied.

"Ah, yes," Cai replied with a nervous chuckle.

"So… the water law eh?" The Honored Master asked.

"Yes," Cai nodded. "I am a half-breed of the Raging River and The Flowering Sword. I do have an affinity to the water element, and I suppose seeing that spirit beast using it resonated with-"

"Half-breed?"

"It- it is an accurate descriptor for what I am," Cai replied.

"It’s an insult.”

Cai didn’t know how to respond to that. It was true, those words were an insult, but they felt accurate. They were accurate. That was what everyone had called him. Half-breed, water lily, fish stained, all of those were words he had heard throughout his life.

“I apologize,” Cai replied, though he didn’t know what he was apologizing for.

“For what?” The Honored Master asked.

“For my insult,” Cai answered after some hesitation.

“You’re apologizing to me for insulting yourself?” The Honored Master asked, his tone mixed with bemusement and confusion.

“...I apologize,” Cai repeated.

The Honored Master readjusted his robe, tying it loosely around himself, as he sat down in a more relaxed position. His hands fell to the ground, digging into the sand and supporting his torso as he looked up and into the sky. The sand was dirtying his robe, some of it even working its way into his socks and shoes, but the man sat there, simple and unbothered.

"Do you know why the crab stays in the desert?" He asked.

Cai shook his head.

"It’s because it's too dangerous for them to live anywhere else. Desert crabs rarely go past the first rank and even if they could, there isn’t enough ambient qi in the desert for them to grow that strong. And if they did go anywhere else, they’d be at the bottom of the food chain, and they know that. But the funny thing is, out of all of the creatures and animals within this region they’ve been around the longest. The earliest sightings of these beasts go back to the beginning of this region’s recorded history. Few creatures manage to keep their population alive and well that long, but they do it. Do you know how?"

Cai shook his head again.

"They live in this vast desert, which is uncomfortable to most predatory beasts. And they live spread out from one another to the point where finding one would take ages if you didn’t know what to look for. They’re also careful, making sure to never be near a dangerous being when they surface and they’re even able to hide from third ranks."

The Honored Master picked up a jug full of water and brought it to his lips, taking in large gulps as he went. After what seemed like a minute, he brought down the jug and wiped away the water on his lips with his sleeves.

"They don’t fight, in fact, they’re one of the most cowardly creatures you’ll ever find. They only come to the surface two times in their entire lives, once when they’re born, and once more when they die. That’s why the one at the bottom of the oasis is up here, it’s dying and all the water it’s making is for its children that will hatch, drink as much water as they’ll ever need, before they go down under to live the rest of their lives. They’re weak creatures but they’re admirable as well."

Cai nodded along, somewhat confused as to why he was hearing this.

"Do you remember Chin Chin, the farmer you met back in the village?" The Honored Master asked.

Cai nodded.

"What do you think of him?"

"He is a brave mortal," Cai answered after some thought.

“Do you think he is a good man?”

“He pursues his purpose with diligence,” Cai answered in a roundabout way.

“Do you think I am better than him?”

“Of course, Honored Master can not be compared-”

“I don’t think I’m better than him,” the Honored Master interrupted.

“The man toils tirelessly to feed his village and keep his people afloat. I mean, sure, if he died they could find someone to replace him. And I’m certain I’ve saved more lives than he ever has, but… it takes a certain type of lifelong dedication to do what he does. One that most people, even us cultivators lack. It’s the same with those crabs. They die to make sure their kids live. I think there’s a certain nobility there, one that most people lack.”

“You can measure value in strength. After all, the more you can do, the greater your impact. But that impact is dependent upon the person. Your sect elders, for example, they’re at the fifth rank, on the precipice of immortality. But they’re trying to kill you, a seventeen-year-old child. That’s disgusting.”

Cai held his breath at those words. He judged his sect elders and the patriarch at times, but never openly, yet he watched as the Honored Master said words that most people wouldn’t have even thought.

“Then… then what would you call good if not strength?” Cai asked.

“Me? I’d like to think that weakness isn’t a sin and that strength isn’t a virtue. Mortals or immortals, elders or bastards, people are people. What makes a person good or virtuous, isn’t their strength, but rather their actions. The choices they make and the way they live their lives. Basic stuff really.”

Cai shook his head at those words. He respected the Honored Master, but this idea seemed foolish, something akin to a child’s ideal. Morality was good and all, but people were much more than that, weren’t they? What about life? What about strength? What about the ability to survive?

"You don’t agree?" The Honored Master asked.

Cai gathered his bravery to answer.

"I- I do not."

The Honored Master turned to him with a waiting look.

"Th- The Great Philosopher Lo Tien once said, ‘Morality is but an instinct, like that of hunger and lust. It is there to-”

“Keep the group together. There are times to keep it and times to shed it and those who indulge in this instinct are deluded,’” the Honored Master finished.

“You know of Lo Tien?” Cai asked.

Lo Tien was a well-known philosopher and he was a cultivator renowned throughout the Void Empire as one of the wisest men to have ever lived, but he wasn’t very popular in this region. Cai himself had only read him because of his strict tutors and their insistence on the old glory days of the region, back when demonic invasions were a common threat.

“Yup,” the Master replied, taking another swig from the jug.

“Do you know how he died?” The Honored Master asked.

Cai shook his head.

“Stabbed in his bed by his children. They were worried that he would achieve immortality and keep control of their sect forever, so they took his advice and disregarded their morals.”

That wasn’t mentioned in any of the books he had read.

"And besides,” the Honored Master continued. “Ideas like that are a bit hypocritical, aren’t they? I mean they’re right of course, all of that good and evil stuff is made up, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important. Selfish pricks like Lo Tien will tell you that morality is just a social construct and that nothing matters outside of strength, but their pursuit of strength and pleasure is another instinct of its own, one that they choose to indulge in. If there is no true reason to be good then there is no true reason to be evil either. Live how you want to live. If you want to live selfishly, do so. If you want to live with virtue, do so, but don’t lie to yourself about it. Don’t think your path forward is any better than anyone else.”

Cai heard those words and something stirred inside of him. He had always believed that strength defined everything. The world belonged to those who could claim it, and those who couldn’t would be claimed. Morality, virtue, kindness, all these things were merely extras, privileges of a developed society.

He fell silent. He was thinking about the words the Honored Master had just said, slowly digesting the ideas.

"Then what did you choose?" Cai finally asked.

"Me?" The Honored Master said with genuine surprise.

"You’ve forgiven my trespasses and saved me from death," Cai spoke with a voice full of newborn confidence.

"Why?"

The Honored Master gave a light shrug and said, "I just don’t think life’s worth living if all you want to do is become more powerful than the rest. Of course, power has its place and even I could use some strength, but I wouldn't live for it."

That sentence leaving a cultivator’s lips didn’t feel quite right. Power was what they pursued. Power was the definition of right. To live and not strive for power and strength was insane.

Cai looked at his own hands. He remembered all his losses and failures. He remembered all the times he had been berated and beaten. He remembered the years of mockery and abuse.

I am weak, he thought. But is that so wrong? Must I be strong to be virtuous?

This time there were no lumps in his throat. He stood up and looked at the Honored Master, eyes clear and beaming and he smiled.

"This Cai Xiun thanks Honored Master for mercy! You have given me my life, my arm, and my soul!”

The Honored Master smiled and nodded in return.

Cai didn’t know if he agreed with the Honored Master’s perspective. He didn’t know what he cared for in people, but he knew one thing. He would not think like the people who had thrown him into despair.

Weakness is not a sin, and strength is not a virtue.