A Disease of Magic

Leo caught me staring angrily into my coffee. It was the morning after my sixth ten-hour shift in a row, and there was no reason for me to be awake at this hour. I was bone tired and wanted nothing more than to hibernate.

My body had other plans.

I had woken up before the sunrise, riddled with anxiety. The coffee wasn’t helping the thoughts swirling around in my head, trying to find solutions to unexpected issues.

He paused on his way to the front door and stared at me. He was dressed for work while I was still wrapped in my fluffy robe, my hair still back in the braids I usually slept in. I didn’t want to think about the frizzy mess they had probably turned into while I slept. If I could afford a silk pillowcase it would probably help significantly. But my finances were not yet at a point where I could spend money to replace things I already had that were in perfect working condition. My pillowcases included.

“What?” I half-snapped at him when he didn’t say anything.

He ignored my less than friendly tone and quietly asked, “What’s going on?”

I deflated, letting my upper body fall onto the countertop. My problems wouldn’t be problems for most people. But most people had more of a support system than I did, could borrow money more easily. It was funny how being diagnosed with a terminal illness meant that I couldn’t take out a loan or have any sort of decent credit limit without a cosigner. They were all too scared of me dying off before I could pay it back, and where would that leave them? I refused to ask my father, who had enough of his own debt left to pay off. I refused to saddle him with more. And even though I knew the chances of me living to see thirty, or even ninety, were significantly higher now, they didn’t know that. It was one of the downsides of being officially diagnosed. While the accommodations for jobs and housing was incredibly helpful at times, it made other things more difficult. Getting approved for a loan being just one of them.

“I need your help,” I murmured into the cool countertop.

“Sure, Callie. Anything. What is it?”

Leo placed his hand on my back, rubbing small, soothing circles as I continued to faceplant. The slight physical comfort was nice. I took a deep breath and straightened, mourning when Leo let his hand drop away. “Can you cosign a loan for me?”

“How much do you need?”

I lifted one shoulder. “I don’t know, exactly. I was going to spend today looking to figure out the amount. There’s some things that I need for my new job. But I haven’t gotten paid yet, and my last paycheck from Silk & Silver wasn’t great with all the time I had to take off.”

“And Hubert Industries won’t pay for it or provide you with what you need?” I could hear the disdain in his tone.

“It’s not that,” I explained. “They gave me a laptop, which is fine. But it’s heavy, and I have to carry around with me. Another girl there said a tablet is so much easier, especially when traveling. Which is something else. I don’t have any luggage, and I’ll be flying out of town next week for more training. And right now my best option is a freaking garbage bag.”

“And you’ll need other things for traveling besides just the bag.”

“Fuck.” My head found the countertop again. He was right. My brain had just forgotten.

Leo didn’t say anything right away. But then, “Alright. Come on.” He tugged once on one of my braids.

“Where?”

“I’ve traveled plenty. I have luggage you can have. I don’t use half of it.”

I got up and followed Leo down his hallway. I’d only been this way a handful of times. It felt like I was a child misbehaving, going somewhere I wasn’t allowed. It wasn’t at all the truth, but Leo and I respected each other’s privacy as much as we could. And that meant staying out of each other’s personal areas.

“Why do you have so much?” I wondered.

He paused outside his bedroom door and gave me a slightly sheepish grin. “Turns out I’m really particular about what luggage I use.”

He pushed open the door to his room at the very end of the hall and walked in. I stopped in my tracks, taking in the dark, rich colors of the walls that made the massive space feel cozy. His room was significantly larger than mine, but the space was used effectively. The light furniture and shelving were a surprising contrast, but went well with the cream bedspread and gold accents. Two of the walls of his room were floor to ceiling windows. The white curtains were parted to let in the early morning light, washing the pale floor in a golden glow. A door led outside to a patio visible through the windows, bare of any furniture.

“Wow.”

Leo disappeared into his closet and rummaged around for a few moments before he emerged with three different suitcases, dropping them to the floor in front of me.

“Pick whichever one you like best. I’ve never used any of these, and never will. I’ve been meaning to donate them, but haven’t found the time.”

“Thanks, Leo.”

“It’s not a problem, Callie.” He stepped into my space and wrapped his arms around me in a quick, surprising hug. Before I could get my body to respond and return the gesture, he had already let go and was holding my shoulders. “We got each other, right?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“I’m off to work. Meet me for lunch today, and we’ll handle the other things. Okay? I’ll message you.”

“Okay.” A distraction this afternoon would be good. I was meeting Alex for a dinner date tonight, the first time I’d see him or really talk to him since his rejection, however reasonable it was. My palms got a bit sweaty just thinking about it as Leo left me alone in his room.

I stood there, shaking loose the thoughts of Alex and feeling awkward in Leo’s space without him. My feet stayed rooted to the floor until I heard the front door open and close with Leo’s departure. Only then could I inspect the three suitcases—all gray—laid out at my feet. I picked them up to feel their weight, tested the wheels, and inspected the divided interiors. Deciding on the lightest, which also was a slightly sparkly silver versus the flat gray of the others, I put the other two off to one side in the closet. I rolled my new suitcase to my room, pleased to at least have one problem solved.

Hours later, and after winning an argument with my hair, I waited at the little café Leo sent me the address to. I hadn’t realized at first that it was my favorite until I saw it. After moving in with Leo, and especially after quitting my job, I had mourned the little shop that was now too out of the way of my daily life. It was better for my bank account and the few debts I was trying to pay off, but I still missed coming here to devour a book and a sugary drink on my off days.

It was cooler today, yet another sign that autumn was around the corner, and a slight breeze floated in through the open door. I was excited. Everything cinnamon and apple and pumpkin came out, and my bank account suffered. I didn’t care much. It was worth the hot cider and other sweet treats I loved indulging in. It always brightened my spirits, even as the skies darkened more often than not with a drizzly, moody rain. The cozy feel of warm sweaters and scarves, hats and fleece-lined boots. Walking through parks and seeing the leaves change hue, the yellows and oranges deepening into ruby reds and velvety maroons.

Leo entered, spotting me immediately and shaking me out of my daydreams.

“Hey, Leo.”

“Hi.” His suit jacket was missing, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up.

“Busy day?”

He frowned down at himself, as though realizing he hadn’t bothered putting himself back together. “Yeah, busy.”

“I hope you don’t mind that I ordered for you.” I gestured to the food on the table between us as he sat to join me. I took a bite of my panini, the cheese perfectly melty and the tomato and basil in perfect harmony with the chicken. Everything was made in-house, and it showed in both the quality and the price.

Leo picked up his own food and dove right into things. “You’ve never flown before.” It was both a question and assumed statement. He knew about my past with my father, and correctly guessed I’d never been on a plane, or even a maglev train before.

“True.”

“There’s limitations on what you can bring, and I know what works best.”

“Sure, Mr. Well-traveled.” I nodded sagely, unable to stop myself from poking fun, just a little bit. He brushed off my foolishness with a wave of his hand that had me curious how often he did that to the underlings who worked for him. With him? I couldn’t remember if I’d ever hashed out exactly what his position was. Was he was a boss, or scientist who answered to a boss, of did he only answered to the board and his father? He told me plenty about what he did, just not who else was involved.

“So the game plan is to hit up a place I know to get the rest of what you’ll need. Shouldn’t take too long. And I have a couple of things being delivered later today, too, that were just easier to order online.”

“What did you order?”

He smirked. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

I narrowed my eyes at him as I took the last bite of my panini and chewed. It wasn’t until I’d finished basically inhaling the thing that I realized I had forgotten to eat breakfast. While coffee might count for some people, it didn’t count for me.

Leo finished his food almost as quickly as I had, chasing it down with the black coffee I’d ordered him. Gross. I savored my sugary treat, something a bit fruity with vanilla and no caffeine. My anxiety couldn’t take it today, even though so much was already handled and was a huge weight off of my shoulders. The leftover jitters were probably caused by my worry over the date with Alex later, which felt like an ax hovering over my head.

Letting go of the mystery package, knowing Leo wouldn’t budge, I followed him out of my favorite little café and promised myself I’d be back soon. We walked down the sidewalk in the direction of the apartment, and I focused on releasing my lingering anxiety with each step I took, which half-worked.

“So, where’s—” He cut me off with a raised finger, going back to typing out some message on his phone while expertly dodging oncoming people and traffic without looking up. He pocketed his phone when he finished, finally looking up.

“Sorry, work thing that couldn’t wait. I swear, some of these people act like every little inconvenience or problem is a dumpster fire.”

I had no experience with that, so I just nodded along and teased, “Whatever would they do without you?”

He let out a sound halfway between a laugh and a scoff. “Probably self-combust. But that reminds me.” He looped his arm through mine, tugging me out of the way of a scooter I hadn’t seen coming. “If things with this job of yours don’t work out, let me know. I’m happy to get you a job with me. I just thought you wouldn’t be interested, so I never offered. And for that, I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t make you feel like I didn’t believe you could do it, or something.”

His apology warmed something inside of me, easing a tension I hadn’t noticed I was carrying.

“It’s fine. I don’t think I would have been interested, not until recently. I don’t know. For a long while, I just wanted to enjoy what life I had left, you know? Read some good books. Relax. I didn’t have any drive towards anything. But then I thought how…pathetic that was. Even with the bio-screens, and sharing really insightful information to help others, it…suddenly wasn’t enough. Just because it is what it is for me, doesn’t mean it should be the same for others. And I wanted to actively help.”

“I’d noticed a change,” Leo murmured, directing me towards a set of glass doors with long, golden handles. “But it’s not pathetic, wanting to live your life the way you want. Others spend their lives searching for answers they’ll never find, and miss out on the fun stuff, or important things.”

There was something in the sudden stiffness in his voice that clued me in that he’d love nothing more than to live his life however he wanted. Leo opened the door for me, letting me go first, and I took the opportunity to get a closer look at his expression.

Stressed, the line between his brows told me. The downturn of his mouth projected his unhappiness. And the tightness around his eyes was further proof I didn’t need that this man was on a path he hadn’t picked for himself. Not to say he wasn’t great at it, because he absolutely was. But…

“Do you ever wonder what you might have chosen to do if things were different?” I wondered quietly, looking anywhere but at him. The store had tall ceilings, warm lighting, and white built-in shelving. I had no clue where we were, but just based on the impeccable appearance, I knew it was out of my price range. Significantly. My feet stalled.

I turned to tell Leo as much and found him already looking at me with a brow raised. He took my elbow in his gentle grip and leaned down to softly say, “If you think for one second that I would bring you here and not pay for what you need, then I really need to work harder at getting the message through your thick skull. Whenever we’re together, you won’t be paying for anything. I’ll take care of you. Understand?”

For some reason, my breath starting coming in shorter bursts, my bio-screen surely taking notice of my increasing heart rate. Why did Leo’s words feel like they had a hidden meaning? I leaned back and nodded, needing to put space between us to get these errant feelings back under control. Leo regarded me for another moment before releasing my elbow, the intensity fading further as he took a half step back and put his hands in his pockets.

“As to your question,” he continued, “I’m not sure if I would have chosen anything different. My path to where I am would’ve changed, that I can guarantee. But I love what I do, and I think I would have ended up here anyways. And for that, I’m grateful. Even if people are such a pain in my ass.”

A sales associate greeted us, our conversation dissolving as Leo explained what he was looking for. I stood quietly, letting Leo take charge and handle it for me. As I watched Leo quickly inspect and approve various items as we toured the open space, from canvas bags to other travel-sized containers, I wondered who in Leo’s life really took care of him like he was taking care of me.

It sure as fuck wasn’t his father. That man was cold, distant, more interested in what Leo’s brain could think up instead of the man. His mother, maybe, but he hadn’t mentioned her in a long time. The divorce had been messy, from what little I’d gleaned. That was one topic I would never bring up. If Leo wanted me to know about it, then he would need to share it with me. I doubted he would. Knowing him, he’d probably feel bad complaining about his parents’ split when my mother had died decades ago.

Leo never had friends at the apartment, even though we’d both discussed inviting people over before I moved in. Was that because of me? Or was it because he didn’t have many friends, even though he said he did? I couldn’t recall him ever making plans with people. Then again, I didn’t really make plans either. He also didn’t seem to date, but maybe that was something he kept private? I surely wasn’t going to ask about his love life, not when I used to want to be involved in it. Intimately.

An alarmingly large number of items were packed away in a golden yellow bag with a navy blue logo I didn’t recognize. Leo turned, handing it off to me with a smile. It was lighter than I anticipated.

“This should have you covered.”

“Thank you. You really didn’t have to.”

He just shrugged, the gesture casual. “I know. But it’s no trouble. And like I’ve said before,” he paused, opening the door for me again, then added, “you’re helping me out and saving me money by living with me.”

“I don’t know how true that is anymore,” I pointed out. “If what Alex said is true for us.”

“Well, you were, and it saves me the trouble of having to fire someone.”

“When was you last episode?” I asked. “It’s been a while, right?”

“It was a few weeks before yours, I think. So yeah, a while.”

“How are you feeling?” I was genuinely curious. It was still soon enough after my last episode that I wouldn’t normally expect another one yet.

“Fine. Nothing abnormal.”

“Do you think Alex was right?”

Leo let out a breath. “We have no reason to think he was lying. But time will tell, either way.”

“True.”

“I hope he’s right,” Leo added. “It would change everything.”

“Too bad we can’t share this with the world,” I mused, thinking back to my attempt to help Meg two days ago. It still didn’t sit right with me, the whole keeping it quiet thing Alex told us. But I was just one person without any platform to stand on to make a difference even if I had the guts to.

“Again, if Alex is right, then it’s for the best that we don’t. Some things have to happen naturally. You can’t force nature.”

“If this even is nature,” I amended, something tugging uncomfortably on my subconscious.

“I don’t see how it could be anything else.”

I just shrugged, trusting my gut on this one. There had to be something causing this. It seemed too sudden to be an evolutionary change. Unless we as a human race were facing an immediate threat, which I found to be unlikely. But exposure to something we weren’t tracking, or even something we didn’t know existed? Definitely possible, and I was convinced one of the two was the most likely culprit.

We said his goodbyes, Leo heading back to work to deal with more “needy assholes.” I meandered back home slowly, enjoying the fresh breeze on my face, tangling in my hair. It was calming, gifting my brain several minutes of quiet peace. Which only lasted for about five minutes when my phone buzzed with a message from Alex, confirming our date for tonight.