A Benevolent Evil Dragon

It’s the dead of night. I have not slept until now because I might as well be careful about my first time getting close to other humans, as I wouldn’t want them to see me. Also because mother might pay a little less care at this time, since she got used to my nightly hunts with Ayrah. Still she did check up on me that one time I left without the giant woman, so maybe I’ll need her… Hmm… Oh, actually that might be better! Even if she doesn’t talk much, she does know how to talk, and she’s much more likely to paint a better picture to the others than I would since I don’t even know how to paint.

Also, unlike any of the others, Ayrah is hardy, fast, stealthy and can actually see in the dark like me. Basically perfect for a night of stalking. Problem though, the place is far away and I don’t think I can carry her. My flight is barely enough for myself, adding on her weight might be too much.

It would also take the entire night… Hmm…

Alright, I might need a new plan. And a second mind to help me figure it out.

With all that said, I run over to the room and I nudge Ayrah awake. We blink at each other, then quietly walk out and start going towards the exit. She is mostly healed so I think she’d be fine to actually hunt, but that’s not what I want to do. I bring her out and start walking away towards the village, then as we come to a patch of barren ground I start drawing. Having dexterous tails comes in clutch once again since it lets me draw at a better scale than my tiny hands would, and at decent speeds compared to using my front legs.

She looks a bit confused at first, but my 3 year old style house drawings make her realize what I am trying to say. I draw stick figures, then an arrow pointing towards the rough direction of the town. She seems thoughtful, then points at it and then points in a totally different direction. Ah, that’s where the bigger town at the edge of the forest is. Is she trying to say that that’s where she’s from?

Guess someone else lives in the village I saw.

Regardless, I nod, but make sure to mimic with my hands that the one she’s pointing out is very big, while the one I am pointing out is small. She is thoughtful, then draws two circles almost touching with a circle of straight lines coming out of them. Ah, guess that’s the basic “sun” drawing around here. She follows this up by drawing a horizontal line and then draws a semicircle and a halfway done one above it, which might just mean that it would take her a day and a half to get there.

How much is that? Hmm… Well I saw where the town is, and it is pretty close all things considered. If I draw a few mental triangles… It should be close to two hours flying if I rush like I did before, four if I take my time and rest. So this town is even farther away… That does remind me that I could probably make it in three hours if I somehow get the mana to keep flying the entire way…

I think for a moment, then point to it, then spread my wings and draw a bit over an eight of a circle, then point at the town in the distance and expand the semicircle a bit more.

She nods, then goes back to the cave. I tilt my head and rush after her, confused. She turns to me and simply says “no animal”, or at least I think that’s what that means. She did call everything we hunted so far “haytan” so I guess that either means animal or prey, and a raspy “hig” was what she said when something bad happened like one of us tripping or that one time a boar that had hid its scent and itself with mud charged us after we had just hunted some rabbits, so it likely means something negative.

Guess the ecosystem’s still out of whack. That might become a problem… Or maybe not. I can hunt farther away and just drag things home if nothing will show up nearby. Regardless, we go back and Ayrah lays down to sleep. I should probably do the same… I will need to plan well for this excursion…

For now my attempts at learning magic medicine are put on an indefinite hiatus, so flight training it is! Who knows, I might find some better healer through the human towns, a healer that could actually help them with their issues…

Post sleep clarity hit. That’s a pipe dream at best. The old woman seems to be the classic good witch in any fantasy story. She has nature mana which somehow fixes bodies, is very damn old, and her mana reserves are still somehow bigger than mine. If not for the fact that she uses it so slowly and has a weak flow, I think she’d be able to do some of the absurdities mother can.

All that to say, unless I go to the big town, and even there there might not be a better healer, I am unlikely to find a solution for their burn marks. And at this point I think I have nothing I can do about them. They healed well, so despite their scarring, they won’t have adverse health effects…

Moving on to the other problem, the thing I might be able to do something about: Flight.

Truth be told, my flight method was developed from desperation, my weeks of gliding experience as well as my limited knowledge of aerodynamics. Putting it another way, I brute forced what was probably supposed to be the result of weeks or even months of training. Sure, it works in a pinch, but I need a better method, what I was meant to use instead of what I ended up making. That’s where my parents come in, hopefully. Father already took us gliding, even doing his best to teach Spots, the only one of us who couldn’t just glide, how to do so. My hope is that he will teach us a bit about flight soon since I already showed that I can handle it.

He seems to be more in tune with that aspect of dragon life than mother. Sure she flies, but she stays still a lot longer. Father, on the other hand, is constantly flying up and down, even doing short hops in between bursts of his weird crawly slithering movement. He also flies without using a rune, somehow. Sure his wings are massive and his body plan is way more aerodynamic than mother’s, but even so I am surprised he can just do that. The largest flying animal from my world was the quetzalcoatlus, a pterosaur that could have a wingspan as long as 16 meters if not more, and weigh upwards to a quarter ton, a mighty, towering beast that would put the fear of God in humans…

Father is larger, heavier, and built like a true horror… There is some trickery at play, but some trickery I need to see firsthand. Something that I am unfortunately unlikely to get since mother just dropped by and left us some corpses. They don’t have the smell of uniqueness, so I leave them fully to my siblings. Am I hungry? Not really. So instead I gather as much air mana as I can, then leave the nest.

By the time I reach the main hallway, the tunnel that is so beautiful and overgrown, the tunnel that I have never followed fully despite meaning to, that a thought crosses my mind. A thought that has been chipping away at my mind until it gained a voice of its own. I spent the whole week stressing endlessly, no wonder it all comes crashing down.

What are you doing?

I am going to learn how to fly properly.

Why?

Because I need it to be better in order to visit that village!

And why are you so focused on that village?

Because… because…

You seem deadset to do something, yet you don’t know?

I wanted to do a lot of things, but they failed so I am going for a different thing now. The village.

And why did they fail?

Because I am not good enough.

And you think that you are good enough for something else?

I need to try...

Why?

I can’t do nothing.

Why?

Because time is precious! If I sit still I am just wasting it. I need to do something, push towards something, accomplish something…

Why?

Because…

Because?

Wasting time is what made me struggle so much before… Had I tried harder, done more with my head start instead of riding the wave until it crashed…

You think it would have mattered?

I know it would have.

You think you wouldn’t have struggled?

EXACTLY!

But wouldn’t you be constantly struggling if you want to not waste any time?

…

Wouldn’t it be a life of constant hardship if all you do is aim to get something out of every single day of your life? Are you going to live each and every day balancing profit and investment? Are you going to live like some martial hermit, training by your lonesome because it is more efficient than to involve yourself with people?

I already wasted quite a few days just relaxing…

A few days out of months of life. How much time have you spent playing, truly playing. How much time have you spent actually enjoying the company of the people you feel so much shame towards. How much have you enjoyed being in a great body and how much time have you cursed it because instead of being met with the endless nothing you stand here, having to strive, suffer, learn, fight, survive all over again?

I hit the floor in frustration. This is worse than I remember. Which means that this is worse than it should be. I've had these sorts of disagreements with myself, but they were never quite as vivid as now… I might end up digging a circle into the ground from the way I’ve been pacing this entire time… I shake my head and return to my thoughts.

I hate you.

I know. So let’s try it again. Why are you trying to run?

I can’t stay here.

Why. Be honest this time.

I… am scared.

Of?

I don’t know what to do with the humans! I don’t know how to go back in there! Every other time I had free time I would just pop in and observe them going about their day, or I would try and learn from whatever they’re doing, like the basket the granny made for Ayrah to collect some plants on one of our hunting trips, or I would watch them play with their magic… And now I can’t even sit outside for long because of the guilt.

Why do you feel guilty?

Because I wasn’t there. I came in late and if I hadn’t, I would have been able to hide them somewhere or… or keep him away somehow…

Or it wouldn’t have mattered.

Or it wouldn’t have mattered…

I sigh and continue on, outside of the cave.

I won’t search for father or mother, I won’t try to make them teach me, I won’t sneak off to some random village, I won’t try some bullshit idea that zaps into my mind, I won’t do anything new.

Instead I take flight, leisurely float my way towards a patch that wasn’t touched by the flames, and dive down on top of a pair of rabbits, catching one in my mouth and another in my tails, which I simply strangle to death. I take flight again, noting that the dangling pieces of meat do actually make flight harder and I need to focus more on staying straight, but I do manage to make it home, if a bit winded by the ordeal.

I go up to the human room, enter, and see Ayrah talking to the others in their language. I can tell from her pauses and tone that she is pretty bad at it, but they seem to understand. I see the flame girl being a bit excited, then sad about something. Ayrah turns to me and then points… towards where the town is. Roughly. Huh, guess they were talking about that… Is that the fire girl’s home then? Good to know… Pity I can’t take her back without angering mother… At least for now.

I drop the rabbits next to Ayrah, then summon a couple runes, namely the air to sound one and the sound one.

I point towards Ayrah and manipulate the runes, speaking out.

“A-yyrah.”

Control was still rough, but better than before. Soon enough I will be able to chain words without having this weird slowness blocking me. Regardless, I take the step that I have been too much of a coward to take. Ayrah made me learn her name, the others ignored that aspect, and I, thinking about how likely I was to see them all die sooner or later, let it be so. Death of something nameless is always easier. But I don’t want that. No more protecting myself… No more thinking I am some hero that will save everyone I see… I wish I could, and someday I will be able to crush any form of unjust violence I see, but for now I need to let myself have a childhood.

I failed the first time around, I might as well have a redo.

The flame- Edith. Edith showed me beautiful magic and reminded me to not focus all of my study on power, but rather try to also learn something fun or beautiful. Now I am realizing that I need to do it for my life as a whole…

So I will learn their names, I will play and learn, I will teach and protect, I will befriend…

And I will get rid of this stupid wall that keeps building itself up between me and everyone else.

So what if I have a few more years of life than most? It’s all just memories, nothing tangible. Nothing that deserves to make me isolate myself from everyone at the first mistake.

To that end, time to teach these people some games! Should probably start with tic tac toe, that’s the first thing that comes to mind when we don’t even have proper board pieces.