3001 Paths to Death - A Lite litRPG Looper

Before diving into my mind sanctuary, I created a safe meditation space. Just because the bugs were dead didn't mean I trusted them, and there were probably still hundreds of thousands of them lurking in the dark, waiting for me to put my guard down. I wasn't falling for their antics. All of my guards were up. That included domes within domes, five domes deep, ice armor that covered me entirely, thick ice covering the ground, and a raised platform to sit on my chair comfortably. As an added measure, I flooded the space below me until the water level reached halfway to my platform.

A part of me—that I'm embarrassed and ashamed to be associated with—kinda wished the critters would rush my defenses. It was one thing to feel safe; it was another to watch my security in action.

Once I felt safe, I dove into my mind and explored thoughts of sanctuary. My first attempt was to give up on collecting my being into one location and flooding my mind with an ocean of mental water. It felt murky, and if I hadn't been sitting, there was a good chance I'd be a bit tipsy. However, I did get a sense that my mind was somewhat protected. I at least had a barrier between it and any intruder. Even if it didn't keep attackers out, it might slow them down enough that I could deal with the threats in another way. Cal did mention that mind casters often fought one-on-one within the mind. Unfortunately, my enemies were probably master swimmers. An ocean wouldn't be enough to keep me safe if I couldn't act fast enough to intercept them.

I was far from content with my sanctuary.

I tried several other methods of collecting my being into a smaller place. All of my attempts of scooping, shoving, and begging proved unsuccessful. I didn't want to self-aggrandize, but I couldn't contain my entire being in one spot. A person was vast, and I was no different.

With all my failures, I kept coming back to my first success. My mind was already wrapped by the ocean—an ocean of my making. I controlled the waters. If I wanted it gone, it would be removed. If I wanted it to condense, it would.

With a careful hand, I closed the waters around my being.

Beliefs, memories, personality, and preferences had no physical form. Part of my struggle to grasp them earlier was because I couldn't visualize the collection of these incorporeal things.

The water flooding my mind wasn't physical either; it wasn't even mana; it was more of my will manifesting itself.

I shaped the ocean within into a tight ball, condensing the barrier. I found the act similar to cultivating mana, which made the process less of an obscure experience. It took extra effort to push through the exterior of my mind. After I made it through, I simply tightened the liquid ball.

While containing my mind, I learned that even though my being was incorporeal, each element had its own weight and density. Memories were the heaviest and least consistent in density; beliefs were the densest of the mind and only a little lighter than memories. Personality and preferences followed in that order.

It made perfect sense to me. My memories shaped who I was; they gave me the experiences I needed to draw upon to make decisions. They tied me to my beliefs and shaped my character. Memories, in a sense, were the soul of the mind. Without them, a person was an empty vessel, adrift in an ocean of hollow thoughts. Not all memories were the same, either. Some could be forgotten without repercussions, some served as core pillars, and others surrounded the pillars, anchoring them to the mind.

I ensured all my memories were collected, treating them like precious gems.

Many of my beliefs were formed by my memories. The stronger the experience, the stronger the belief that developed. Watching my Pa hunt and respecting each life he took taught me that all life is valuable. I often caught my Ma sneaking food to others who'd fallen under hard times. I still remember her tear-filled eyes as they looked deeply into mine during our last goodbye. She held back so much of what she wanted to say and settled for only a handful.

"Stay kind, and remember I will always love you." Ma's words weren't fit for a warrior starting new in a hard world, and I scoffed at them later with my buddy. However, as time wore on, her words found a place in my heart. My Ma and Pa didn't care if I became powerful and rich. They just wanted me to be the person they raised me to be, to be a person I could live with.

Value life and be kind—quite possibly the two worst beliefs to have in this world. Yet, because of my memories, I struggled to change them. I didn't want to change them even though they held me back.

I wonder how they'd feel about me today if they saw who I was or what I'd done. Anyone else would give me a pass. I didn't care what they thought. It was my parents, Lana, and myself that mattered.

I already knew how I felt, and it wasn't great. My Ma would probably hold me in a tight hug. Pa would pat me on the back and rub my head. He'd look me in the eye and ask if I was 'right. He wouldn't push when I said nothing; he might ask if I were hungry or tell me about one of his hunting trips. Most likely, he'd sit by me and support me in silence. Selene's abyss. I missed my mom's hug and Pa's supportive company.

Lana would take one look at me and then burn down the world to get the one who caused me so much pain. After learning I was the problem, she would hold me and help me repair my broken pieces. I missed her the most. Extra care was taken when it came to memories of her.

Personality or character was shaped by memories and beliefs. This was who I was… how I carried my memories and acted on my beliefs. Death had whittled away much of my drive and passion, dulling my character. Although I was never bright to begin with, I didn't crave attention or recognition. In an ironic twist, what death had stripped away, it had also brought back.

Preferences were the lightest of the mind. Unlike the others, these could be changed or influenced to something completely different. Though some preferences tended to be stickier than others. These sticky preferences were often tied to one or more of the three other elements of the mind.

Fortunately, the water I condensed around these four pillars and all the other entities of the mind was denser than anything else. As the water got tighter, so did my being.

The ocean eventually became a dense lake, then a pond of unfathomable depths; when it was the size of a puddle, it had a strong gravitational pull. I worried my sanctuary was becoming too attractive. Yet, the water containing my being was no longer liquid and much denser than ice. It seemed denser than any metal I'd seen before. Threats wouldn't easily pass through my shell; they'd have to fight to break through.

My sanctuary was taking shape, and I was far from being done. I had yet to start on the defenses, then there would be test runs.

For the remainder of the loop, I spent my time refining, condensing, and growing my orb of water. The second part came from adding extra layers of ocean and then condensing them. It was like I'd created a miniature world inside my mind. The water was so dense I wasn't sure what to call it anymore. I reached my limits when I was four layers deep. That left the sanctuary roughly the same size as an ice dome I created for protection.

The comparison led me down a new hole in defense structures. First, there was a building to store the ice dome in. The building had thick walls—Selene's pits.

I was going about this all wrong.

I spent the entirety of the next loop deconstructing and rebuilding my mind sanctuary, adding defensive structures to each layer of ocean. I didn't even leave the grave grounds. My mind was a mess and frazzled at the end, but I felt confident that I had created formidable protection.

While I constructed mind resistances, Beaks kept me safe from the wolfbears leaking out of the dungeon. The flayen's falcon form was more than just a flying body. I'd modified his talons and wings to have extra deadly features. Beaks was more blade than bird at this point. To add to his blades was the only skill he could cast in his current state, mind flash.

Mind flash was the most basic skill among flayens. Often, they used it as a way of communication. To the unprotected minds, a mind flash would stun them for a few seconds. The skill was dangerous in Alderi, where the knowledge of mind resistance was non-existent. For simple-minded beasts like wolfbears, it was deadly. The mental wave of energy stunned the beasts for a few seconds, allowing Beak's smaller form to swoop in and cut them down. The skill's area of effect only reached six beasts if they were packed somewhat close, and the stun lasted less than five seconds. The limitations didn't make the mind flash any less fatal for the beasts.

"Beaks." One benefit of our bond was that no matter where the flayen was, he was always in range of hearing me. "I'm ready."

"I will lead the rest of the beasts back to you. After we wipe them out, we can test your defenses."